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Baby after special needs child

(10 Posts)
Lyns22 Sun 23-Feb-14 10:39:07

Hi everyone

Not sure if I'm posting in the right place..

We have a beautiful 9 month old baby girl, she was born with anopthalmia (born without eyes). It is secondary to a rare condition which isn't genetic so there is only a 0.01% chance of us having a baby with similar disabiliies. We are starting to get our heads round our new life with a blind baby finally. She is hitting milestones, content, babbling and even crawling which we are so pleased with as we were told she wouldn't walk/talk will much later on as so many things rely on sight.
Anyway we are desperate to give her a sibling. I just wanted to know if anyone out there had a baby after a special needs child and how their sibling has affected them.
Many thanks

litdog Sun 23-Feb-14 12:17:06

We had two healthy babies after our first was born with SEN. Best thing you can do, in our experience.

I wanted to have children to help look after our first one when we are no longer around.

It's bloody hard work especially at first but so worth it and I thank God for them.

Go for it!

zumbaleena Sun 23-Feb-14 13:58:11

We will be having one later in the year. Our first one will be a 5 year old by then. It is a bold decision but we are really looking forward to it.

Lyns22 Sun 23-Feb-14 15:19:17

Thanks girls, Litdog were your friends and family happy for you when you announced the pregnancy? I jut worry that one will worry for us.. X

cleverbit Sun 23-Feb-14 18:46:00

I have a deaf dd1 who is 2.6 and a hearing dd2 who is 9 months. dd1 is deaf due to recessive genes dh and I have so all our children have a 25% chance of being deaf. at first dd1 was a bit jealous but otherwise it has been great. at the moment neither of them understand being deaf vs hearing and so don't realize they are different but dd1 has already been teaching dd2 some signs and I think the relationship (so far at least) has been a benefit to them both. when i was pregnant with dd2 i found myself constantly thinking of how great it would be for dd1 to have someone to play with who would know how to sign and who could help her if she needed interpreting but now that dd2 is here I find it easier to think of her as her own person. I hope the girls will be close and help each other out but I don't view dd2 as a helper for dd1 iyswim. when dd2 was born it was several weeks before we had confirmation that she was hearing and I wasn't sure if I was happy or sad (not wanting dd1 to feel alone in a family of hearing people) or if I was betraying dd1 by being happy but I think all those feelings were just exacerbated by all those extra new baby hormones.

2boysnamedR Sun 23-Feb-14 19:02:59

I have a nt boy aged 10 who is very bright and smart ( too smart really). I have a dyspraxic six an one year old. It's hard doing the whole sn thing twice, but think of it as I know what I'm doing / did wrong with the six year old.

I want another baby and the pead has suggested there could be genetics at play. My mum told me I shouldn't have more kids which really upset me, yes it's hard but my boys are happy loved and have good lives.

I almost died with pre eclampsia with my first child. I was scared to have more kids. I did get ill again but we lived to tell the tale. So it with dyspraxia and my odds with baby four. I'm sure we will all get through what ever life throws at us. No it's not easy but it's right for me. I can not imagine my life without my big brood. Challenges and all. It's what you can cope happily with. That's some one only you know.

Birdies Mon 24-Feb-14 12:16:28

I got pregnant with my DD2 when DD1 was 9 months. I really wanted to give her a sibling too and it's been brilliant for her. A little bit of jealousy/confusion for the first few weeks but now she adores her (kisses and cuddles her a lot) and helps her with her development. It's sometimes eshausting having two so close together, especially when DD1 has lots of hospital apmts and all the worrying about her, but it was still definitely the right thing to do.

elliejjtiny Tue 25-Feb-14 12:42:40

I already had DS1 before my DS2 who has SN. We thought long and hard about adding to our family and DS3 was born when DS2 was 2y 9m. I think the only negative thing was that DS2 worries that DS3 will "overtake" him and DS3 is desperate to try and keep up with "the big boys". I got pregnant accidently with DS4 when DS3 was 22 months. He has SN as well and I think he has helped improve the harmony grin.

Strongecoffeeismydrug Tue 25-Feb-14 17:26:51

I have a nt 18 year old daughter,then 9 year old son ( severe autism, severe learning difficulties) and 3 week old daughter.
I've only had one person make a bad comment about having the baby and what if she's like her brother blaaaa blaaaa blaaaa.
Everyone else has commented on how more sociable ds is when people talk to him( baby attracts lots of people stopping us in the street).
Only positives for us at this early stage grin

blueeyedmonster Wed 26-Feb-14 18:05:04

Dd arrives just after DS turned 4. He has just got his dx at 6. I won't deny there have been difficulties but they love each other fiercely. I'm hoping as dd grows DS will learn some of the more social stuff from her and maybe other stuff he finds tricky.

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