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homework hell!

(9 Posts)
thriftychic Sat 22-Feb-14 18:50:58

ds2 is 15 and in year 10 now . things have got very tricky with regards to school work as more is now expected .

We seem to have improved things in so much as he has actually been in to school the last few weeks as opposed to regular school refusal , some lessons he has refused to do any work in but at least in science they have now changed him to doing a cambridge nationals rather than a gcse .

i did tell them last year that GCSE would be no good when they explained that alot of remembering is involved for an exam at the end ( ds2 does not retain info well and will not revise )
but as usual they wait for failure to be in front of their eyes before acting hmm

anyway , as usual ds2 has homework for half term and its caused a lot of stress . I have had stuff thrown at me and been called the most disgusting things he can think of. The homework has now been ripped up and i have been in tears . He says homework is pointless and at least he has been to school and he isnt doing work at home aswell.
i have tried getting him to just do 10 minutes at a time , offered to help him etc etc but just the mere mention of it and his voice gets to excruciatingly high volume !

if i ignore the homework , turn a blind eye and let school deal with it then i will be being a rather Sh** mum surely, and hes just not going to get anywhere or pass any exams but trying to get him to do it is also a no go , for all of us , as it becomes hideous . At 15 he is quite scary when he kicks off and weve worked hard to stop meltdowns but i do feel like its then all his way or no way .

does anyone know what i should do ? he has an aspergers diagnosis although he isnt typical in a lot of ways .

PolterGoose Sat 22-Feb-14 18:56:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thriftychic Sat 22-Feb-14 19:01:55

i have suggested a reduced timetable but i havent heard anything back yet. tbh i doubt they are going to agree to it .
trouble is , it wasnt so bad up until this year , i could sort of just think oh well they will get him to do it at lunchtime and i could opt out of the whole lets do the homework thing but hes now expected to revise for science 20 minutes every night and thats just one subject.
his homework for half term is geography and its a 5 page booklet , obviously for them to do spread over the week but hes done none of it and now its in a thousand bits on the kitchen floor ! he s back to school on Monday .

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 22-Feb-14 19:12:33

Know what you mean about Y10; these sorts of situations often come about as well when the child's additional needs at school are simply not being met by school.

I can certainly see what Poltergoose means re no homework and I do agree but this is Y10 and in that year (the first year of the GCSE course) homework is regarded as vitally important by many schools. (We also get told to help them revise for their exams as well and we've already had some controlled assessments). Ds is also in that year and has also had homework to do this week as has many of his peers. Fortunately we managed to get the written stuff out of the way before half term started. I have got to the stage when if DS comes home and states "no homework" I think good!.

As you are also seeing, you are truly his best - and only - advocate here.

Does DS have a statement of special needs from the LEA?. If not I would suggest you apply for such a document from them asap. Although statements can take around 6 months to set up I think they can be put in place much sooner.

What's the SENCO like at his school thrifty; is this person proactive?. I would make an appointment to see this person asap as well as his Pastoral support person because he must be on their radar as well. Your DS is clearly very vulnerable and clearly needs extra support.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 22-Feb-14 19:16:44

Awful of the school to let him get to such a stage and state; it is primarily because his additional needs have nowhere being near being met that this has happened to him. All this as you are seeing has a very deleterious effect on family and family life.

Be both firm and assertive with this school Thriftychic; you owe it to yourselves as much as your DS now to do so.

thriftychic Sat 22-Feb-14 19:30:50

thanks smile the school are crap tbh ive had so many meetings about meetings angry

Ineedmorepatience Sat 22-Feb-14 20:02:08

I agree with polter I can see this coming too.

Dd3 is already refusing to complete much of her homework and currently relying on me to email school and sort it out for her.

I know this will not wash with secondary in September and I can forsee a load of problems as time goes on.

Doing less subjects to free up some time during the school day definitely sounds like a possible option to me. At the end of the day it is the magic 5 GCSE's including maths and english that are the passport to college or 6th form.

We are trying to get Dd3 a statement at the moment and time in the school day for homework would really be something I will know doubt be having to fight for.

Good Luck smile

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 22-Feb-14 21:09:52


I wish you the best of luck with regards to obtaining the statement. Do not settle for anything less than a well worded statement.

Re this comment:-
"Doing less subjects to free up some time during the school day definitely sounds like a possible option to me".

I doubt very much if secondary will be willing to do this but it is certainly worth asking them before she arrives into Y7. What DS's secondary school offer is called "curriculum support" (to assist with homework) but that normally does not get offered until Y10 (and only to some students at that).

Ineedmorepatience Sat 22-Feb-14 21:40:17

Thanks attila, I have no idea what their plan will be for September tbh and am pretty certain that she wont have a statement when she goes even if everything goes smoothly after tribunal and I dont expect it will sad

If we get as far as a statement then yes we will get advice to make sure it is well worded but thanks for the heads up.

At the moment Dd3 is on a reduced timetable and is coping better but who knows how long this will continue for.

Sorry for the hijack thrifty.

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