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He's fine at school...

(12 Posts)
Levantine Tue 18-Feb-14 13:00:46


DH and I went to meet the head of ds1's school ten days or so again. She is new. She said he definitely needs a statement. I wrote to confirm details of our conversation and to say we would apply the week after half term, could she write a supporting letter, and would that be enough time for them to get together the information they need.

No reply as yet, although there are good reasons why and she apologised when I saw her.

On Friday I met his ct. I don't think she knew much of ds's aggression - knife wielding, strangling, though I had emailed Senco a couple of times recently and assumed that she would have been told. Class teacher told me all the things she has in place for ds, subtext, everything is fine. I told her ht had said he needs a statement and she said oh they are very difficult to get in this borough.

I have a feeling ht has changed her mind and has asked useless Senco to tell us.

There is no doubt that ds needs one to one and will do next year, so why are they so reluctant? I don't get it. And I am so upset that I can tell a paediatrician that ds attacked himself with a potato peeler and they are horrified and make an emergency CAMHS referral, but school just says he seems fine.

Borka Tue 18-Feb-14 13:25:25

Oh no, just when you seemed to be getting somewhere.

I think that when the school says he's fine at school they really mean 'he's not causing us any trouble so why should we do anything'.

DS's headteachers told me last week that not only do they not believewhatI tell them, but they also don't think that him refusing / being unable to go to school shows that he's anxious about school.

So many people seem to be having the same problem, I wonder whether it's just lack of knowledge on the schools' part or whether it's a deliberate way of avoiding providing support.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 18-Feb-14 13:41:13


Would suggest you make the statement application yourself and asap; its not worth another week's wait.

What Borka stated as well; some schools simply do not want to see what is really happening. I would look at other schools now because even with a statement in place this shower will likely fail him as well.

As you have seen you are your child's best - and only - advocate here.

Levantine Tue 18-Feb-14 17:14:14

Borca, I know. The headteacher said she had asked the ct if ds would cope without one to one support and the ct said no. Therefore, said the head he needs a statement. She actually seemed to know a lot about asd, so I am hopeful that his provision will improve.

Attila, I will apply for statutory assessment next week, once I have had a chance to talk to the head.

Levantine Tue 18-Feb-14 17:31:58

Sorrry, that was a bit nonsensical. I don't really get it either, he needs more support, a statement would get them more resources. What is the problem?

StarlightMcKingsThree Tue 18-Feb-14 22:05:32

The problem is that the school doesn't necessarily get extra resources, they get the resources they already have committed by law to your child. Many schools fight against this in favour of children who will disrupt the class and prevent others from reaching their level 4s.

StarlightMcKingsThree Tue 18-Feb-14 22:08:15

Any extra resources they might get only comes after they have spent considerable resources of their own.

bochead Wed 19-Feb-14 04:25:41

Look on the IPSEA website at their model statement application letters and just get on with it yourself. If you do it now, he can have a statement in place for the start of the next academic year, if you delay so will the arrival of any support a statement brings.

You don't need anyone's permission to apply for a statement, and it's actually easier to track the progress of all the different input reports if you have made the application. The community pead, cahms and any one else you feel is relevant will be contacted as part of the assessment process.

A statement application will help protect your child against permanent exclusion IF school haven't everything as under control as they perhaps rather arrogantly are assuming. (people often have to see a meltdown for themselves before they get how bad it can be).

streakybacon Wed 19-Feb-14 07:24:42

I don't believe for a moment when schools say a child is 'fine here' when there are significant problems outside of that environment. There is ALWAYS something going on but it's either not recognised or it's being ignored.

When my ds was in his first school, the head described him as 'the most violent child with Asperger's I've ever known' yet still wouldn't support an application for statutory assessment. She even said he would be better off in special school hmm. As Star has said, it's usually about budgets and not wanting to spend them on one individual.

Definitely apply for the statement yourself, now, and deal with the school's inconsistencies as you go. There can be no doubt your son needs extra support but if they aren't going to help you get it you'll have to fight for it yourself.

Oblomov Wed 19-Feb-14 10:44:49

I have had this. School have insisted he is "fine" for the last few years. Insist he needs no provision.

I too see it as all the reasons others have described. They just don't want the time or hassle, or cost of doing anything.

It's just insulting to your intelligence, isn't it?

streakybacon Wed 19-Feb-14 11:34:51

And then they bang on about early intervention, transparency and openness and I want to kill somebody ...

Levantine Wed 19-Feb-14 19:08:38

Seeing as lots of people are here who know about ASD, what interventions or support worked for your child at school?

Currently ds's school does the following:
I drop ds off with class TA not in the playground.
TA settles him at the beginning and end of the day
He has a card to put up if it's too noisy
A card for if he needs to get up and walk around
A desk of his own if he wants to work on his own
He does some social stories work with SLT therapist once a week (I am a little doubtful about how well this is done)
A visual prompt to remind him to sit down

Next term he is getting art therapy

I do think they are really trying. I dont think he is getting enough one to one at times when he feels overwhelmed. What else might make a difference? How should they be measuring what they are doing?

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