Nearly 3 year old - concerns re. social interaction, some gross motor and sensory issue

[RainingPouring]

My son is 2 yrs 10 months. Throughout the first 18 months or so of his life, we had concerns about his development. He was slow to meet milestones like rolling over, sitting and he was on the slow side to develop any speech. All this to the extent that we saw a developmental paed and SALT, and had concerns about ASD. However, he had a massive leap in development from 18 months to 2 - his speech became excellent, he was very communicative and affectionate with us (having not been so previously). So we began to think that he had caught up and we had worried needlessly.

However, it is now becoming apparent that he has some social difficulties interacting with other children. He has been attending nursery since September and they have indicated that he needs support to join in with the other children. This is also something that I have noticed myself with playdates etc. He is interested in other children, chats to me about things they have done and will interact with them if prompted but when I see him with other children he definitely seems different and not quite on their level.

He is also behind with gross motor skills such as catching/throwing a ball and things like using a scooter/tricycle. He hates swings and always has done. He is also quite moody, whiny and hard work - thing seem to 'throw him off keel' quite easily.

So - I am now wondering again about dyspraxia and/or ASD.

However, he doesn't fully fit either category because:

He has good imaginative play and role play. He also seems to understand emotion - eg. says things like 'if I give x to the baby that will make her happy'
He doesn't mind change in routine.
He doesn't have any particular 'special interest'/'obsession'.
Do these things mean it's not ASD?

He's good at self-care skills - dressing/undressing/feeding and his fine motor seems fine. Do these things mean it's not dyspraxia?

I just want to find a way to help him as he just seems different from other children. I would be so grateful for any thoughts you have - sorry it's so long.

[Ineedmorepatience]

Hi raining Your ds is still very young in terms of socialising at nursery especially if he has already shown signs of delays in other areas.

What are the staff doing to supoort him? If they are working on supporting him while he builds relationships with other children and teaching him to turn take and play alongside other children then they are already helping him which is great.

I work in early years and we never really expect our under 3's to share and co operate because they really arent ready to without support.

In light of his early difficulties you are very wise to keep an eye on him and if you work along side the nursery hopefully everything will work out.

The nursery should follow the special needs code of practice which sets out what they need to do to ensure that all children can make progress. If they are concerned they should be talking to you and setting some targets. You could arrange to chat to the SENCO or his key worker to have a chat.

Dont forget he could catch up as he has done with his other skills.

Good luck

[RainingPouring]

Thanks so much for your reply Ineed. Nursery have been pretty vague so far - they just said at the beginning of this term that he was sort of 'floating' around and not joining in, and that I should arrange more playdates so he got to know the other children better. I did this and they have now said that he has improved but he needs support. I haven't had a meeting with them, this has just been mentioned at pick up. We have parents evening in a couple of weeks so I will push for more information then. Thanks so much for the information about the special needs code of practice - I will definitely raise the question with them of what exactly they are doing and push for targets. It's been a bit frustrating actually as they've just worried me without giving me much information!

I do also wonder if (hope!) he could catch up - but I also have a sort of 'gut feeling' that he is different. He just generally seems less happy and less 'childlike' than other children if that makes any sense? But I guess he could be within normal range and just be a bit different.

[RainingPouring]

Thanks PolterGoose. Do you think we should take him to a developmental paed and/or a child psychologist to get some insight? We could probably go private for this if a GP was reluctant to refer. Are there any interventions we should be doing? I looked into ABA etc. when we were concerned previously but now that he has good to advanced speech, what can we do? Can you teach social interaction with children? He seems fine with adults.

I guess I need to push nursery more strongly. I know one of the kids in the year above at nursery has a specific helper (provided by his parents) I think to aid social interaction.

[RainingPouring]

Thanks so much Polter. It'll be good to have some concrete suggestions to make to nursery.

[RainingPouring]

One other thing I should mention - he is a bit obsessed with food. Has a seemingly insatiable appetite and constantly asking for snacks. Has been like this since weaning. Is probably borderline overweight. Does this ring any bells with anyone?

[Ineedmorepatience]

Yes I agree with polter should have mentioned the LA early years advisor.

Ours vary between being completely useless to really helpful but they should be able to offer support to the staff in the form of recommendations and help setting targets.

I also agree about listenting to your gut feelings. There are so many parents on here who knew or know that their children have additional needs way before the Proffs recognised it.

Keep coming on here for great advice and support, this board is full of amazing people with loads of knowledge.

Good luck

[Ineedmorepatience]

I agree with polter and should have mentioned.....

[Octoberfest11]

@RainingPouring I know this thread is very old but if love to know what the outcome was for you ds going through the same right now