Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
Stupidly giggly after feeling quite disheartened last night!(7 Posts)
So today was the day of our CAF, or FSP or whatever the heck they call it now. It's a plague of acronyms in our house at the moment.
I was disheartened after learning that two of our most supportive people would not be able to attend - one because she was not told the time when the invitation was sent out. It took a text to me 2 days ago to establish that she already had plans for that time. The other was not allowed to attend by her manager as we are not actively being supported by them at the current time. I believe this is mostly a borders issue as our healthcare (and therefore health visiting team) come from the neighbouring county. However she said she had sent a report in. This was not at the meeting this morning and the chair was unaware of it.
So dh and I weren't exactly counting on a very positive meeting. Two from the Hv team and two from the preschool ds attends.
In the end it went better than we thought Although preschool said they don't see the behaviour we described (I had to tell ds off the other day for shaking a boy around the head at collection time!), there were things that they've noticed which they simply haven't put into the context of our situation. So it was encouraging and they will be keeping a very close eye on him to be able to answer future questions more accurately. At least they are willing to work with us. We are all interested to see what will happen when his younger siblings join him in preschool after Easter.
We got home to dh's valentines roses for me. And then the postie brought a letter with his salt appointment. Woo hoo. So in the next 6 weeks we have specialist HV, OT and SALT appointments. And ds is having ore and more bad times at home so I'm making mind jars while I type this, waiting for the glitter to settle so I can work out how long they take - currently 26 minutes and counting on this one. Worth it for the calm though. He will sit on his Cushion, all snuggled up in his safe space and watch it settle for ages. So a longer one can only be beneficial.
Good that things are progressing positively in terms of the support for him. As you say hopefully school will start noticing and recording more for you in time for the next meeting.
Does he get on with the twins? It might be odd for him to have them in the school setting at first, which again might show other behaviours which the school can record.
Good luck with the mind jars, they sound really good. Closest dd got was a snow shaker type thing from the shop - I'm not very creative
Polter, do you have Pinterest? There are some great examples on there. They're jars (I use plastic ones) with glitter, glitter glue and water in. The aim is watching the glitter settles helps in calming down - the eye is so focused in watching that the mind settles from whatever state it's in. You have to balance them up so they take the amount of time you want. Some people I know use them as a time out timer. But I've decided to not use them in the context of punishment but explained to mine that they are to help them calm down and then be able to tell us what the matter is.
Fresh, ds does and doesn't get on wit the twins. Generally he is fine unless they touch/play with something he considers is solely his. Especially the train toys. But when he gets into one of his funny moods he can be incredibly violent towards them for no other reason than they happen to be around at the time. The twins are too young at present to know that ds needs time and space to chill out so we end up disciplining ds form something which is out of his control in a way, just so he and the twins are being given the same message that violence isn't acceptable.
More onwards and upwards. On Monday specialist Hv came for a visit. She said ds is "impulsive, quirky and pedantic". He spent much of his time flitting from one thing to another and then throwing Lego around (and at her). I was .
Salt are going to visit ds at preschool as well as the appointment we already have, just to get an idea.
Hv and I discussed how very different ds was at home from how I've been told he is at preschool, even though preschool do acknowledge some of his traits from home like avoiding looking at people if he doesn't want to do something, and participating in activities on his own terms.
Our additional needs group have loaned us a weighted blanket to try at night.
I met a new mum there too. She says her son is exactly the same as mine. Can be a little angel when out and about but turns as soon as he gets home. I think we both felt the relief that someone else we have actually spoken to has the same problem rather than professionals saying it often happens - much more reassuring to hear it from someone who actually experiences it on a daily basis.
We had a weighted lap pad for dd to use when we were trying to get her to do any activities at home as she was such a flitterer (not sure that's even a word!!) and it did help.
And it's so true about meeting other parents who get it. (Although to be fair most parents on this board get it!) Dd just started a new school and there is a 'support group' for the parents, I went to the first one and another of the mums there also has a little girl (we are in the minority) and she said it was like I was describing her daughter when saying things mine does. And the relief it was not just her!
I know it's when they are disruptive when you have appointments but I always feel relieved not embarrassed, and slightly vindicated that I can say "See!! I told you!"
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