Today I kicked DD2.
I'd had an awful morning - DD1 had got herself stuck down the side of DD2/3's bunk bed at chest height, with just one toe on the windowsill. DD3 had dissolved into tears because DD2 got dressed before her so was the 'winner'. DD1 got a shock from getting stuck and was a complete mess so we were running late.
It was 8.20 and DD1's bus comes at 8.20 then we need to hot-foot it to the school. DD2 had, as usual, completely blanked what she needs to do to be ready for school, and was sat on the sofa using the IPad. I asked her to ready herself. She ignored me.
I had my hands full of lunch boxes, book bags, etc., and I used my free hand to take the IPad from her - by this point she'd had 3 requests to turn it off, all acknowledged by ignored. Instead of letting me remove it, she started to tussle with it. It was precariously close to flipping in the air.
I raised my foot off the ground and kicked her just above the ankle 
I can't believe I did it. I don't think it physically hurt her (she didn't show any signs of it and I would say it was a 'tap' if that didn't seem to be trying to minimise it - I'm not minimising it, but an accidental kick would be much harder than the kick I did...if that makes sense).
I apologised straight away. I told her I'd lost my control and I shouldn't have done it.
Anyway. Roll on tonight and she says that she had to do her 'feeling chart' at Dragonflies this afternoon - they draw in a 'blob' - and she drew a broken leg and a broken arm in hers, because Mummy kicked her on purpose. She said that the others had to raise their hands if they'd ever had that 
and she told me that I should have 'had a breath'.
She told me that she didn't tell them why, or what happened, or anything else. Then, she pointed to her knee, where just below there is a bruise (browny colour, not new) and said 'that's the bruise!'. So goodness knows what school thinks of me now.
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I kicked her
lougle · 06/02/2014 19:27
Oh lord what a foul start to the day. And how many of those have I had? Including more times than I care to admit when I have got physical with D2 and then beaten myself up over it.
Be kind to yourself. You are bloody brilliant. 
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Dont beat yourself up lougle we are human you know, we are all pretty amazing, including you but we dont get it right all the time.
I was going to suggest the visual timeline for mornings too. Starting one with Dd3 was life changing for us, yes I know that sounds dramatic but it really was.
Dd3 went from being totally dependent on me for every single instruction for every step and every instruction could be met with "No" or "In a minute " or worse "stop telling me what to do!!"
With the timeline she was able to be independent for the first time ever.
Be kind to yourself 
Poor you Louglechalk it up and move on, but not before one or these
lougle the defining factor here, IMO, is that you realised right away that it was wrong, you spoke to her about it, and you changed your approach. Recognising it, admitting it, and changing it. I'd be willing to bet you're furiously thinking of other strategies (and discarding them and thinking of more...) that you can use the next time this happens.
You are, aren't you? 
Because you made a mistake, you learned from it, now you're changing your approach. That's what good parents do.
This is miles different from STBX that hit DS2, lied about it repeatedly, then verbally attacked me when I confronted him with the evidence and insisted it was DS2's fault as he wouldn't listen. When I told him it was unacceptable behaviour (he didn't even apologise or ask if he was okay), he said I was overreacting and "I hit him, so what?"(which is why he is now STBX, among other things)
Huge huge difference.
Lougle, we're all just floundering along anyway, and the fact that routines and being proactive smooths the path a little doesn't take away the sheer exhaustion of having to keep it up, hour after hour after day.
You have a routine, it went wonky and the resulting mess meant that you didn't cope well for a moment. A nanosecond.
But you are back to managing again, and next time you will be aware.
Try throwing something inanimate, or swearing in Russian, or having a breathe.
You can go on as much as you like, just realise that it's no use beating yourself up over a slip.
What's your relationship like with the school?
How well do they know your DD and is she like my two, who used to have a very specific slant on events and often saw themselves as victims? So I always knew that there would be a different opinion out there, and I didn't have all the facts.
And yes, we can tell an old bruise from a new one.
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I'm not sure I routinely remember to do dd's hair tbh. 
Are you asking to much of yourself? Can you put bowls cereal where they can help themselves?
Can they put their own book bags in place on the way to bed.
I've given up supervising Ds getting dressed. He goes as he is. T-shirt back to front, both legs in one leg-hole of pants. I ask him to check and look in the mirror. If he says he's fine then he's fine.
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