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Need help staying sane!!!

(17 Posts)
Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 18:54:31

At the end of my tether, yet again with 15 year old son. He's ADHD/ODD. Just wanted to know how other parents cope.

I have been dealing with his issues for 13 years and I am so tired of it. What keeps you sane? Drugs? Alcohol? counselling?

Right about now I feel like visting a counsellor with a large glass of wine and Valium (shock)

CandyJournal Wed 29-Jan-14 19:22:59

Beammeup11 - Hun I am sorry you aren't feeling too good, are you getting any support from anywhere? I have a child with SN so I know the feeling.

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 19:29:05

Hi Candy,
Thanks for reply. I don't get any support, waiting to see CAMHS, but I'm not hopeful, as I have seen other families who have said its not worked for them. I'm thinking about getting some sort of counselling, I'm usually a positive person and like I said I have coped for years, but just recently it's started to get me down and I feel anxious the whole school day, waiting for a phone call which comes far too regular for my liking!

Hi beammeup know where your coming from I have a 9 yr old with adhd he also has some autistic traits and getting help from camhs is a nightmare. Where they are concerned the only thing to do is become annoying mum and badger them as much as possible, I'm in middle of doing this for therapy for my ds2.

And as for keeping sane I'm not sure I do think I constantly stay on brink using mantra tomorrow is a new day and we can start again.

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 20:02:58

I use mantra's too. Today's mantra is get to 25 and leave home!!! My son also has autistic traits but never got a dx as got the statement with his ADHD which is quite severe.

We have the statement and have been told they only didn't get an autism dx as the criteria had changed. I'm fighting for another assessment and for therapy to help teach him to cope as he has really bad trouble at school and is constantly being sent home due to him having a melt down it happened Monday and again Tuesday but he was excluded until Friday. Every time the phone rings on a school day my heart sinks cause I know it's to go in.

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 20:19:16

Keep fighting. School sending them home is really no help at all. My son is currently excluded till Friday. He's Year 11 so I know the end is in sight but it's tough still. I'm hoping college will be better. I may be delusional lol. I have a lot of an anxiety about my mobile I check it constantly in case school have called or emailed! I still can listen to the Nokia ringtone as that was the ringtone I associate with his primary school. I feel sick if I hear it !

CandyJournal Wed 29-Jan-14 20:25:09

Beammeup11 - I really feel for you, is your DS at mainstream school? Why have they excluded him, I have a friend that has a child with ADHD although he is a lot younger I can understand what you are going through.

I think you need some support for yourself also, do you attend counselling? Have a talk with your GP, I'll be online for as long as you want to talk, sometimes it feels good to let everything out.

Lol ohhhhhhhh the ring tone the dc's schools ring tone is iron maiden run to the hills I thought if I could see funny side to thinks I might not panic, no such luck as now if I hear it I jump.

An sen outreach is supposed to be going in to help ds and school cope it was stated in statement last September and still hasn't happened and they said not to keep sending him home. But as with everything they don't listen and they know better they drive me mad But I keep reminding myself they the ones who haven't kept to statement so far so they Are ones who haven't kept to what they had to do .

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 20:41:39

Yes he's at mainstream. Exclusion was for fighting well more of a scuffle really. Thanks for the ear, it's good to talk! Did attend a support group but the Mums were mad as a box of frogs lol, lovely but really quite mad. I guess living with someone with a mental health issue is enough to send you that way!

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 20:44:53

Losing sanity, do school always register it as an exclusion when they send him home? They should but I know it doesn't always happen at primary. School are too concerned with their precious stats.

No this is first one since he started there last January, we moved back to be nearer family. But they have warned as the frequency and aggression is getting more and more they will have to start excluding more but there will be a limit before it becomes being expelled. Meeting on Friday apparently will explain this better and we'll discuss how to prevent that happening.

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 21:11:42

Ah! Been there. Exclusion is not always a bad thing. It can kick start some real help and access to special school if needs be.

CandyJournal Wed 29-Jan-14 21:24:22

Beammeup11 - Would you consider sending him to a specialist school?

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 21:31:03

Hey Candy, too late for that he's in Year 11 and nearly done with school. I'm going to celebrate if he can finish Year 11 without being permanently excluded (fingers crossed)

CandyJournal Wed 29-Jan-14 21:33:05

Beammeup11 - Oh okay, are the school providing him with any support?

Beammeup11 Wed 29-Jan-14 21:41:19

No they haven't been great on the support side at all. I am slowly withdrawing from school, didn't attend parents evening as couldn't stand to hear all that bad news on one evening. I did attend his annual review and any 1-1 meetings. After all these years it's hard to know what to say. I mean he's a strapping 6ft lad, he has his own mind and my options for punishment are limited, very different than when he was at primary. He attends school every day, that's an achievement as far as I am concerned

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