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behavioural problems

(22 Posts)
Mandybelle Fri 20-Dec-13 18:21:05

Hi I'm new in this section and have a 3 year old with some behavioural problems. Could someone please pm me about any experience they have had with their children at pre schools/schools?

Thank you x x

PolterTurkey Fri 20-Dec-13 18:37:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandybelle Fri 20-Dec-13 18:45:32

Hi Polter Turkey, feel a bit at my wits end really. Well he's been sent home a lot of times, teacher says hes disruptive and doesn't like to join in with everyone, just wants to be in the corner and do his own thing, he has bit and hit teachers and hit other children too. He has a lot of tantrums during the day with me as well so I understand what they are saying. We have seen a paedeatrician and he is also known to the pre school senco. The paedeatrician said he does have a speech delay and behavioural problems and will be reviewed again in march. He has had speech language sessions. I just feel he is being labelled as a naughty child and is not getting any support x x

PolterTurkey Fri 20-Dec-13 20:00:49

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PolterTurkey Fri 20-Dec-13 20:01:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmoretinsel Fri 20-Dec-13 20:15:23

Hi mandy, I am sorry you are going through this with your little boy.

TBH, it sounds like the Pre School need to look a bit deeper and see if they can find out why he is struggling so much.

Ask them what happens before he has tantrums or bites and hits at Pre school. They need to be observing him and filling in an ABC chart that will hopefully find the triggers for his behaviour.

I agree with Polter (as usual), They need to get the Area SENCO in to support them and you. The area SENCO might be able to refer to an Educational Psychologist as well.

For you, my best advise would be to keep a diary of his difficulties and behviours ready to take back to the paediatrician.

Good luck smile

Mandybelle Fri 20-Dec-13 21:39:55

Polter Turkey

I'm not sure what the underlying cause is but I do know that he doesn't like to follow instructions/be told what to do and shouts a lot also so i'm constantly saying use your quiet voice please. With the speech therapist he had one on one sessions at first and we found he seemed to get bored easily, didn't concentrate much, would start lying down/moving around in the room and would have tantrums which I would then have to calm him down,he also finds transitions difficult so if she read a book then moved on to play a game a tantrum will occur,then with the group sessions he was really disruptive trying to run out the door and the other slightly younger kids would copy his behaviour. I do keep a diary and I note down how he's been everyday. Videoing him is a good idea.

No they haven't called anyone in just their school senco who told me she's just going to monitor him as 3 is quite young x Oh thats really good with mine we just get told can you talk to him about his behaviour and thats it. No targets have been set and I don't know how they handle his outbursts either. The only thing I know that helps are if he has a tantrum to hug him firmly that usually helps a lot as talking to him sometimes doesn't work.

Mandybelle Fri 20-Dec-13 21:52:32


Is the area senco the school senco or senco in my local area? I feel like all I hear back are negative things and hardly any positive things and there is hardly any communication and I feel that the preschool don't want him there as he is not a perfect child and is disruptive. I'm just upset as I'm someone who admits my child is difficult and a lot of hard work but I want the best for him. Everyday I think to myself if he's in a bad mood before pre school should I take him in as he could kick off and they're only going to ring 10 mins later to collect him again , its not nice to think that but I do sometimes x

PolterTurkey Fri 20-Dec-13 22:00:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mandybelle Fri 20-Dec-13 22:14:14

Yes its a pre school attached to a school. I'm not sure have never refused as they want him collected when they ring. Will have a quick read of that now thanks x

stillstandingatthebusstop Sat 21-Dec-13 09:32:39

Hi Mandybelle That situation sounds dreadful. I think I'd be asking what strategies school are putting in place to help your DS. Sending him home, monitoring, passing the responsibility and stress straight back to you doesn't seem good enough to me.
I get a lot of strength and confidence to contact school and complain or give my opinion and try to influence the way school deal with my DS from these Mumsnet Special Needs boards. I hope they help you too. The other week I think I had sent 4 emails to school already when another issue arose & I had the confidence to ask school to deal with that issue as well.

Ineedmoretinsel Sat 21-Dec-13 11:25:25

Hi Mandy, The area SENCO should be someone employed by the local authority to support the children in early years setting.

Is the Preschool funded by the school or is it just linked by sharing the grounds?? I ask that because if it is funded seperately then I am pretty sure they should have their own SENCO and they should be able to access supoort from the Local Authority SEN Advisors or Area SENCO.

Your some may be entitled to some additional funding so that the preschool can employ someone to support him but the preschool have to know how to access this funding.

Do you pay for your son to attend or does he get 15 hours 3yr old funding?

Sorry for all the questions but I need to understand your situation fsmile

Mandybelle Sat 21-Dec-13 16:54:59

stillstandingatthebusstop - I have asked before but never had a very clear answer. I have had a meeting with the senco and teacher and they said they were just going to moniter him but the other day (i won't go into to much detail about what happened)but the teacher said it was best he go home when he arrived as he will just disrupt the class anyway and me and my partner and I will be speaking to the head on the first day back about it.

Mandybelle Sat 21-Dec-13 17:03:50

That does take a lot of courage stillstandingatthebusstop as I as well feel quite awkward about talking to the school and when I ask why he's upset as there must be a reason nobody knows.

I think the pre school is funded by the school as the senco covers the school and pre school and the head teacher is the head of the school and preschool.My son is known to the head as he was sent there once as the teachers couldn't calm him down he was ruining the classroom pulling down displays etc. He gets the free 15 hours 3 yr funding. I have also found that in crowd situations it irritates him as its hard taking him in supermarkets and he just wants his own personal space at nursery doesn't want to join in with others.

Mandybelle Sat 21-Dec-13 17:05:40

Sorry Ineedmoretinsel that last paragraph was the answer to your questions x

Ineedmoretinsel Sat 21-Dec-13 17:49:09

I think you need to ask for him to be observed by the SENCO with a view to placing him on the special needs register. This can be for social and emotional difficulties as well as learning issues.

Tbh, they dont sound that great if they just want to send him home and you might need to look for somewhere that will try to support him not just send him home.

In the meantime you could talk to your GP and or Health Visitor about how difficult your son is finding preschool and see if they offer any advise. Your son may need a referral to a developmental paediatrician to check that he hasnt got any underlying difficulties that are making preschool really hard for him.

Good luck with your meeting. Dont forget to ask what the school are planning to do to support your son.

Mandybelle Sun 22-Dec-13 07:02:14

Thank you Ineedmoretinsel, I will update with how it all goes. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas x x

Mandybelle Mon 30-Dec-13 14:10:13

A little update, got a call from speech and language who said they have referred him for attention and listening classes in January as they noticed when he had his speech sessions in sept and oct he was just running around everywhere, not listening and disrupting the other children. Its a start to getting him help so I'm happy x x

Ineedmoretinsel Mon 30-Dec-13 14:17:59

That is great news mandy In my experience and in my area Speech and Language therapists are sometimes very good at spotting developmental issues in young children. I hope you have a good team in your area.

I am glad things are moving forward for you smile

Mandybelle Mon 06-Jan-14 21:39:52

My partner had the meeting today and the head said he will speak to the school SENCO. I have a feeling they will not get back to me and I will have to keep chasing them up.

Ineedmorepatience Mon 06-Jan-14 21:48:03

Yes, I expect you will have to chase them but at least you know you are not alone now and people on here can help.

You just have to ask.

Good luck smile

Mandybelle Wed 05-Feb-14 20:45:45

Had a GP appointment today, was a waste of time as they said as we're already under a pediatrician ( from since Sept for his speech) I just ring them and ask to talk about the behaviour. Does this sound correct ?

As I thought I'd have to be referred again. Also he said to get a report from school of how he is. Senco has said they will get someone in to see him in his learning environment if there's anything they can do to make things easier for him but that takes a few months for them to come.

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