Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I am fuming

(17 Posts)
PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 10:38:02


Apparently ds's TA told him on Monday morning that she had had a bad morning and wasn't going to take any of his nonsense (or words to that effect). This morning he told me that yesterday she refused to let him stay in at playtime (which we agreed at a meeting less than a fucking week ago), he also tells me she is always too busy with other children's when he needs to talk to her.

What pisses me off so much, and makes me realise how it should be, is whn I met the secondary SENCO he said "15 hours, that's a lot, we can do a lot for ds with 15 hours". Yes, I agree, 15 hours is a lot for a child who doesn't need support in actual academic subject lessons, primary just want to do as little as possible.

So, have sent another email:

Dear Mr CT (cc HT)

Re: Ds

I have a suspicion that Ds has already mentioned this, but I just want to confirm that, due to the planned celebration activities and the impact they are likely to have, Ds will not be attending school tomorrow.

Thank you for meeting with me last week, it was helpful to discuss some preventative strategies to help to reduce Ds's anxiety. However, I believe that his needs are still not being fully met and I do have some concerns:

Earlier this year Miss SENCO prepared a review document for the LA following my request for statutory assessment. The document outlines a range of support which was allegedly being provided for Ds. The school is receiving funding to support Ds based on his needs, yet I am seeing little evidence of him receiving the full benefit of this. Ds has commented recently that when he is struggling he is often told by Mrs TA that she is busy and/or dealing with another child. He needs to know when she is available to him. If he is refusing to engage with her for planned interventions I would suggest that school need to explore the reasons for this and look at alternative ways of him receiving the support to which he is entitled. Him refusing support is not a good enough reason to fail to provide it.

I do have concerns that his relationship with Mrs TA is breaking down, Ds informed me on Monday that she had told him in the morning that she had had a bad morning and was not going to take any nonsense from him, or words to that effect. This obviously worries me hugely, it is unprofessional, inappropriate and definitely not an effective way to engage a child like Ds.

I am not receiving an up to date weekly timetable - Ds has difficulties with transitions and needs to know of any curriculum or staffing changes in advance. We also use the timetable as a way to assess his day because he has a tendency to only remember what he considers to be the 'terrible things' that have happened while he has been at school.

I would like to see some more pro-active social and emotional skills teaching. In the past this has been carried out through 1-1 and small group work, Ds especially benefited from the group led by Mrs Y4TA in Y4. As outlined in the SEN COP, there is an expectation that pupil's social, personal and behavioural needs are met.

I have discussed playtime problems repeatedly over the years Ds has been at the school. The aforementioned review document states that Ds will be given the option to stay in at playtimes and we agreed last week that this option will always be available. Yet, Ds informed me that yesterday he was 'not allowed' to stay in and Mrs TA 'made him' go out. This is not acceptable.

It would be helpful to schedule a meeting for the start of the new half term. The run up to Christmas is always a difficult time for Ds and we need to plan how best to support him through the period.

angry I am so sick of this.

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 23-Oct-13 10:46:22

angry I'm not surprised you are sick of it.
What part of 'Ds finds playtimes stressful so he must be allowed to use his funded time to stay in whenever he needs to' can they not understand?
It really is straightforward.
Thank goodness the secondary seem more on the ball.

Flappingandflying Wed 23-Oct-13 11:02:28

Brilliant letter. The TA sounds like a liability.

bochead Wed 23-Oct-13 11:05:31

Do be careful.

My complaints about DS's statement not being adhered to (his TA was being used for the rest of the class despite 28.5 hours being allocated in his statement) led to SS making my life hell last year in retaliation.

Log it yes, in case you need it for future evidence. School will either sort it straight away, or you'll be flannelled and you know the difference by now.

If he only has one more year and school can't be bothered any more, why subject him to the stress of SATS etc. Keep him home and concentrate on a decent secondary transition instead of killing yourself trying to get them to do their jobs.

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 11:19:39

Thanks for reading all that flowers

Boc based on their usual pattern they will leap into action, then all will be well for a bit then it will all fizzle away. I can't see they'd have any grounds to refer to SS at all, there really aren't any. Ds is looking forward to SATs, he loves exams confused It would be really hard to keep him off full time because he does want to go to school (though we have lots of anxiety and telling me he hates it, some of this is his nihilistic personality). I only work 2 days a week and dp could, in theory, compress his hours so, whilst I don't want to give up work (it would be a very bad time due to complicated Tory bullshit), I will be keeping him off as and when he needs it.

2boysnamedR Wed 23-Oct-13 11:22:41

That is poor. Ds is a child not a mate in the staff room. Why is she telling ds her issues?

Handywoman Wed 23-Oct-13 11:42:47

I think your letter is great. Well done for sounding so nice in it, which I struggle to do! thanks

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 11:51:16

Thanks smile

NameChange70 Wed 23-Oct-13 12:02:03

Hi I don't know if this helps at all but when my child was still in mainstream, any anxiety inducing activities (trips, community days, performances, you name it really ...) I used to email the head and ask permission to keep him off. This was usually as a result of them dropping hints to me, ie what do you want to do about x on such and such day. I would then email the head and say I have been approached and asked what I want to do, therefore I assume you have concerns about supporting him, I agree with your concerns, therefore can I have authorised absence. For me, I wanted to show that my keeping him off was a result of their concerns voiced indirectly to me rather than my decision as such. The head always agreed. I think ultimately it was mutually convenient and enabled us to get him into ss but I also had a point I was trying to make.

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 12:12:34

Name TBH I've never asked permission to keep him off, I just tell them I am and why. How they record it is up to them! To be fair, they have never once said they are unable to support him with trips and the like, his inclusion has always been assumed, but there are certain school things that are just not beneficial to him at this time, tomorrow is a celebration of becoming an academy, with all parents invited for the morning, music, drumming, speeches, special assembly, picnic lunch and more, without a doubt they'd offer him alternatives, a previous shorter event he stayed in and did model making with his TA, it's more that I can't see the point sending him to do 1-1 non-academic activities as I can do that so much better than they can!

MariaNoMoreLurking Wed 23-Oct-13 12:48:39

celebration of becoming an academy

Can we picket it?
Shall we all show up dressed in black?
With wreaths marked RIP PolterPrimary wink

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 13:03:23

Maria grin

thriftychic Wed 23-Oct-13 15:49:30

oh polter i feel your angry
it is all reasonable and quite simple things really , what the hell is wrong with these people ? angry
you have written a cracking letter there though , couldnt be better smile

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 15:58:48

thrifty thank you flowers it is really simple stuff, it makes it all more frustrating, they've got the bloody resources, they've got the information, it is dead easy.

Awomansworth Wed 23-Oct-13 16:24:20

Unfortunately the crucial ingredient that's missing in your recipe is "willingness"!

It would seem it has been rationed for quite some time, which is why it is in such short supply in many schools.

Apologies for the food anology, I'm trying to lose a few 1lbs and all I can think about is bloody food!

PolterGoose Wed 23-Oct-13 16:24:59


thriftychic Wed 23-Oct-13 18:08:19

grin at awomansworth grin

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