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I cried in Waitrose this morning and need a self-indulgent moment

(146 Posts)
PolterGoose Thu 03-Oct-13 11:24:11

Ds is now in Y6, has Aspergers and quite significant sensory issues, we've had problems with sensory issues and the dining hall which the teacher doesn't really seem to be taking seriously, didn't bother to reply to an email I sent, was non-committal when he spoke to do about it (dp was fab for once) which I've talked about in the G&C thread. We're having increased angry and aggressive behaviour after school, the usual delayed ticking time bomb stuff so many of us experience sad

He has 15h TA under school action plus which includes 1-1 at play and lunchtimes, this is crucial as he was involved in a serious incident during a lunchtime when he was unsupervised. I know think that they are using her for general lunch cover so are reluctant to have her support him on a 1-1 basis (or 1-2 if he had a friend with him) during the eating bit at lunchtime.

Ds was up in the night, we never get this unless he is super-anxious, he admitted he has worries and I said how we have to talk about them otherwise I can't make it better and agreed we'd talk today to work out what we can do. This morning we had a chat over breakfast and he just doesn't know what it is that is making him explosive, we didn't have long:

We talked about timetables (they are supposed to provide us a weekly up to date timetable) and he said the timetable for the day is on the board every morning and he's happy with that, I disagree and think he benefits from one at home we use both to prepare for the day mentally and as an aid to talk about his day at the end of the day. The 'post-mortem' of each day is helpful to stop him focusing on just the bad stuff (as he sees it) and means I can comment on topics from individual lessons to highlight the good stuff.

He's had lots of sensory processing/integration intervention but is refusing to use the techniques at school. I would like him to sit on a Move'n'Sit but he refuses. His TA had agreed she would just put it on his seat every morning and not make a fuss if he moved it and hope that eventually he'd just use it, she hasn't done this. I would like sensory stuff integrated into his day, the TA came on the Alert Programme with us and knows how to do this, what language to use and so on. She is very capable. But ds refuses to consider this idea.

After I dropped him off I went shopping and bumped into his lovely friend's mum who loves ds, I cried then as I vented, and I still am sad

I know what I need to do, I need to get shirty with school yet again.

But, typically, when asked at school if he's ok, ds will say yes, because he doesn't actually have the ability to articulate that he isn't and he doesn't want to talk about it and I don't think he can even identify what it is that is causing all this angst. And if he doesn't know and I don't know what it is, then how on earth do I get school to do things differently?

It's helping writing this down. I'm going to ask school to use the stuff we learnt on Alert to monitor his mood throughout the day and record it. Then we can identify where he needs support put in place. The whole point of he TA coming on the programme was to learn techniques to support ds's self-management, but he can't do it alone yet. That's my plan.

Thank you for getting to the end

Honks would be appreciated flowers

Donki Sun 06-Oct-13 09:28:55

Frizzcat Speaking as an equid of the long eared persuasion, the world always needs more carrots.

Donki Sun 06-Oct-13 09:35:09

I went out this morning to hang out some washing, and a skein of geese flew over honking madly. They were much lower than usual, and made me think of you Polter.

Then a small group of 4 flapped after them honking loudly trying to catch up. Which made me laugh. I feel like one of the late comers desperately trying to catch up grin

PolterGoose Sun 06-Oct-13 10:15:34

Donki flowers and grin

zzzzz Sun 06-Oct-13 11:02:52

donki. grin

moosemama Sun 06-Oct-13 11:43:57

Ourvye, my dd doesn't like pastry either. Always completely confuses me, as there's so many different types, but every single time we have pastry she insists she doesn't like it.

Donki, I'm always flapping along at the back as well - and I've been hear for yonks. blush We can flap together. grin

SummerRain Sun 06-Oct-13 13:16:03

Dd is a pastry refuser too. And most other foods tbh. And she's my 'NT' child hmm

MariaBoredOfLurking Sun 06-Oct-13 13:46:49

Ouryve, I'll send dd over, she like the gravy soaked pastry but won't touch the chicken

PolterGoose Mon 07-Oct-13 18:42:36

Well, ds is quite relaxed today, he played out at morning play with 2 friends and had fun, ate his lunch in quiet spot with them and then he stayed in alone to do drawing at lunch play. He says that just knowing he can stay in makes him happier grin

We even had spontaneous doing of homework shock <faints>

But I shouldn't have to go through this bloody process every term. Every bloody term the support slips, the flexibility disappears, expectations get more rigid, ds starts to crumble, I complain, school get better and so on and so on...

I only have to get to July
I only have to get to July
I only have to get to July
I only have to get to July...

frizzcat Mon 07-Oct-13 19:22:52

Have you had the meeting with HT yet? Or is that tomorrow?

ouryve Mon 07-Oct-13 19:27:07

Shame it's not netmums. You could have a ticker, with sparkles and everything grin

PolterGoose Mon 07-Oct-13 19:40:32

frizz I have a meeting with teacher on 16th, I can't do any sooner due to work and exam (aaaarghhh) but I would have expected a reply from head considering the seriousness of my allegation...

~cake~brew~wine~cake~brew~wine~ 280 days until my lo finishes primary school~cake~brew~wine~cake~brew~wine~

frizzcat Mon 07-Oct-13 20:56:25

Cool ticker tape

My HT took 3 weeks to respond to a letter of complaint I made, one which she asked me for! Did get it sorted though.
Main thing is your ds is safe and calm and this will put your mind at ease a bit, until you can get in and key loose the hell smile

frizzcat Mon 07-Oct-13 20:57:33

*let ... Not key! I haven't even had a sniff if gin either

PolterGoose Mon 07-Oct-13 21:09:16

My difficulty frizz is that I can do wrath and ire quite well in writing but am absolutely crap at face to face social interaction. But it was lovely having ds so relaxed tonight.

Dp walked past Mrs X this morning and said he thought he'd be beyond angry but he just felt smug that her evil plan failed.

^^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^ only 9 days until meeting with school ^^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

Ooo, I like the ticker tape. Maybe I'm nethuns material? wink

PolterGoose Mon 07-Oct-13 21:21:36

Ellen you are so not a nethun grin

frizzcat Mon 07-Oct-13 21:39:00

Aren't there angry pills you can get, there must be something in holland & Barratt they sell something for every thing else!
<whispers> I've never heard of nethuns

PolterGoose Mon 07-Oct-13 21:44:49


ouryve Mon 07-Oct-13 21:49:52

No Cunty Halls allowed on Netmums.

frizzcat Mon 07-Oct-13 22:35:44


General coffee house chat?
1. I go to a cafe
2. Cafe is a treat I normally boil the kettle and make instant
3. I hate "fun" names for chat
4. If you drink tea are you banned?
5. Could be a willing participant if there is free cake in the coffee house
What can I say I'm a cheap date

MariaBoredOfLurking Wed 09-Oct-13 16:11:38

frizzcat, maybe try methylphenidate (concerta) to cause a bit of irritability wink

I've heard that cholesterol meds can do it, but assume that's actually a side effect of the low-fat diet: ie cake deficiency

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