I was called in to see HT at pick-up time today. DS had kicked his CT while having a meltdown. . (Background: DS is 6, in Y2, has dx'd SPD and anxiety and under assessment for ASD/PDA; has just started OT and has part-time 1:1 support amongst other support measures at school. His anxiety levels since the start of term have been through the roof and he's been having multiple meltdowns most days but this is first time he's lashed out at anyone in school).
We have not really dealt with HT before (been dealing with senco who is also the DHT, and his CT and TA). Obviously the kicking of his CT has triggered HT involvement.
So HT said during our conversation that he thought there needed to be "consequences" for DS' behaviour. It has previously always been understood that there are no "punishments" as DS' behaviour is not within his control and is a result of his anxiety rather than naughtiness. HT said he had told DS (while DS was screaming and repeatedly banging his own head fgs) that he would have to make up every minute of missed class time while he was dcreaming by doing the work another time, after school if necessary.
I was too upset to respond to this at the time, but am now horrified by the implications of this. It could not be a worse decision IMO. It will not teach him right from wrong -he already knows this. It won't act as a deterrent - when DS goes into meltdown mode he loses all sense of reason. It will only serve to make him more and more anxious about being punished, instead of reducing his anxiety. School is already torture enough for him. And it certainly won't foster a love of learning in him, effectively using "learning" as a punishment .
Right so what now? Obviously I need to go back and talk to HT, to explain rationally why I think he's wrong. And get the Senco on side if I can. What else? Who else can I get to back me up? I can ask his OT, although I'm not really sure that's her remit? And what if he won't back down? Can I remove DS from school? On what grounds? And what happens then?
Sorry for rambling (again, I seem to do a lot of that on here!) - am furious, horrified and worried sick.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
HT threatening "consequences" for DS' meltdowns
Jacksterbear · 23/09/2013 17:42
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