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Not wanting to go to school as doesn't play in yr1

(7 Posts)
greener2 Fri 13-Sep-13 09:58:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 Fri 13-Sep-13 12:20:04

Ds is similar, when he feels out of control, he wants more control or to run away from it ie not wanting to go.

At home I try to deal with it by giving ds more choices, but I control the choices. Even in little everyday things.

For example he will refuse to get dressed to try and avoid having to go to school, so not getting dressed isn't an option, but he can choose what to put on first ie socks or pants and so on. I find this helps things from escalating in full meltdown.

sophj100 Fri 13-Sep-13 18:14:27

My son, aged 6 (ASD) had just started in Year 2 and that again is a big change. He hates the fact he has to put his hand up to get out of his chair; the workload has increased and with it, the homework. He has taken to removing books from his bag and hiding them, to avoid doing any work and he has been very irritable, more than normal, since the term began. He has been screaming at me in the last few minutes because the electricity tripped and he lost CBeebies briefly, something he would normally be angry and shout but the screaming is new.

I think he is struggling with the new, stricter atmosphere but his TA is aware of it and they do deals with him on doing a portion of the work, followed by a reward of play time and we'll see how that works. Same will apply for the homework, I will have to gauge how much I can get him to do and bit by bit.

I too am using the choices route claw2 - neither of them his choices but there is always a slightly preferable one and he seems pleased to have some control back, which I think he feels he's lost at school.

Jacksterbear Fri 13-Sep-13 19:15:39

Hi, sorry you are having a tough time op.

My ds has dx'd SPD and anxiety and is under assessment for asd and PDA. We found that his problems escalated hugely during y1 at school (he's now just started y2).

We think this was a result of the increased demands and set regime (with the resulting loss of control for him, ie someone else dictating the agenda), compared to YR.

On the plus side that was the start of us seeking help for him and him getting support at school. Before that he'd been very hard work at home but generally a model pupil at school and I'd always assumed I'd be dismissed if I took him to a doctor. With the school's backing I've felt in a much better position to seek help for him.

Charlootle1 Wed 18-Sep-13 13:27:26

Sorry to hear your DD isn't enjoying school, OP.

I'm in a similar position. DS has a diagnosis of ADHD and SPD but I wonder if he fits PDA a little better which would explain why the schools reward/punishment system has zero effect. Anyway, the lack of 'independent learning time' ie. PLAY! is definitely causing him some issues at the moment so I'm trying to adjust to year one, too.

As mentioned by the previous posters I think I'll try to be more sensitive about choices at home and I guess participate fully in his controlling play, as he's getting little chance to control things at school.

It's difficult to know what to do for the best, isn't it?!

Jacksterbear Wed 18-Sep-13 13:48:57

Forgot to add that the other thing about Y1 is the increased time for which children are expected to sit at a table to work - not good for children who need lots of movement as part of their sensory processing issues.

pumpkinsweetie Wed 18-Sep-13 17:04:58

I sympathise op, i really do, unsure of what my child has, all behaviours point to autism and i'm starting the journey of fighting for a statement.

Since my dd started yr1, she has gone backwards, and i have had many meltdowns mainly due to the fact my dd is made to wear pe kit twice a week which hasn't helped matters!confused I of course told the teacher that i will not be complying to this silly rule any longer as it makes our lifes even harder with the constant changes there already for her as it is.

More work, less play = the children with sn feel they have no control

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