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Pathetic comments thread

(73 Posts)
goldenretriever Sun 08-Sep-13 17:50:07

Have had 2 interesting comments from work colleagues about my son with ASD recently which I wanted to share. Firstly, 'That's like Down's Syndrome, isn't it?' Secondly, 'They are more loving when they're like that.' Not to take away from my OH's Mother who bought him a rain coat and helpfully told me she had bought him a dark blue one 'rather than a red one so he didn't stand out, with him being the way he is' FFS. Anyone for anymore?!

Sahkoora Thu 10-Oct-13 09:56:07

One of our friends said that something must have "happened" to DS to make him so angry and violent, as that's nothing to do with autism or ADHD.

My nan begged us not to send DS to a school "with all the funnies".

My most recent favourite, the headteacher telling us he was sending DS to the PRU, and that he could come back to school "when his behaviour improved".

I could cry.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 09-Oct-13 14:58:47

This is true. I hope they learned a lesson today

ouryve Wed 09-Oct-13 12:15:07

I don't think you can be too scathing, Fanjo. These people are in roles where they will work with a disproportionate number of children with SN. Even without SN, they're children. There is no room for an impersonal sausage factory approach.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 09-Oct-13 10:53:08

I had to check with DH afterwards that I hadnt sounded too scathing and sarcastic about it to the woman

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 09-Oct-13 10:52:05

Isn't it so bad its almost unbelievable!

Our dentist is NHS provided SN one and is amazing too.

ouryve Wed 09-Oct-13 10:49:57

Good grief, Fanjo, is it some special training they have? DS1 had his eye appointment, yesterday. Poor DH got a massive lecture and was told that he had to "make" DS2 wear his glasses because he was naughty.angry DH said he's going to take some of the autism awareness cards we've, up to now, never needed to use, next time. He's having his eyes tested at the hospital, rather than a cosy high street optitian like the rest of us because of his disabilities, ffs!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 09-Oct-13 10:13:33

I have a humdinger of one today!

Just out of eye hospital after attempt to test DD's eyes.

Opthalmic registrar turned lights off and said "now DD, read the first line of the chart"

DD has got fairly severe autism, is non verbal, cannot read or follow directions.

She has been there many times.

She then said "oh it says in notes they tested last time with eye chart"

shock was my face.

Last orthoptist thought she was blind as she wasn't looking at the pictures when asked.

Belsbels Thu 19-Sep-13 18:26:06

More MIL classics here. I was waiting to board a train with DS1 (6, ASD) and DS2, and it was announced that seat reservations would not be available. MIL helpful contribution was 'just sit DS1 near someone, they will soon move'.

MIL has also suggested there are schools DS1 could go to, for ‘challenging and difficult’ children. Mmmm, no thanks.

I am sure she loves him really, it’s just hard to see it sometimes.

goldenretriever Thu 19-Sep-13 16:22:30

The words retard and retarded make my foot itch. Had a daft one from my Mother the other day. My son does a 'look' which I have been told is a classic Autism trait. He did it the other day and she said 'I wonder what he's looking at?' My Dad responsed with 'He's not looking at anything'.

troutsprout Wed 18-Sep-13 19:47:00

"Really!??!! Blimey-I would never have guessed it!! He looks so normal.... And he's so handsome"

sammythemummy Wed 18-Sep-13 19:18:41

^ Heard the woman behind me say "woss wrong wiv him then", then the woman sitting next to her said "dunno, probably retarded"^

shock what a horrible horrible witch

goldenretriever Wed 18-Sep-13 19:09:52

These have made me chuckle after dealing with two children with a sickness and diarrhoea bug all day!

WetAugust Wed 18-Sep-13 16:39:39

Oh - almost forget.

I left DS's DLA form with the school secondary so that it could be signed by his tutor.

Bearing in mind this was a residential specialist SEN placement:

School secretary: "He doesn't need DLA".

FriskyHenderson Wed 18-Sep-13 13:27:41

Head teacher: there can't be anything wrong with him because he's academically able.

I hope she later had a 'doh' moment. But I doubt it.

Charlootle1 Wed 18-Sep-13 13:14:08

These are all so awful and familiar. I love the 'they've got to have a label for everything these days,' that's a very popular comment.

When asking how DS is doing and me responding a little about OT etc, another mum said, 'but my children are a nightmare in restaurants.' I must have missed that question on one of the thousands of diagnosis sheets I've filled in - a nightmare in restaurants? Check!

A childless friend of my stepmother offered to have DS for a week to 'sort him out' and also theorized that he's a 'typical only child,' which was interesting because the only child I've met like him has two siblings.

okthatsweird Wed 18-Sep-13 10:17:27

Mil when discussing Ds's lack of support at school, after listening to the EP tell us how 'bright' Ds is and he will do well with additional support, and attending numerous meetings with me;

Mil "I know how it is....having one at one end and another at the other (meaning SIL did well at school, DP didn't do well with what sounds like the same difficulties as Ds) when you have one that is brainy and another who is a bit slow that's the way it is, you just have to accept he isn't meant to do well"

Cue head tilt and soft smile while wanting to give her a swift slap for being so 'slow' wink

My Nan after I tried to explain the huge meltdown Ds had over taking something literal "Oh so he is slow then??, they have schools that THEY (while nodding in Ds's direction) can go to you know"...yeah thanks for that nan.

Needless to say at this point I realise just how much harder it was going to be for my boy with complete numptys like this around him.

Very first visit to the doctor with Ds to try and get him referred to CAMHS. After going through my list of concerns GP takes a look at Ds fidgeting in a chair opposite and says "well he doesn't look autistic to me" confused Oh bugger me! is there a way he should look????...needless to say because of this he didn't get referred.

samithesausage Wed 18-Sep-13 00:04:25

On the bus with my ds. At that time he had a bad speech delay (better now). He saw an ambulance and did a high pitched squeal (mimicking the siren). Heard the woman behind me say "woss wrong wiv him then", then the woman sitting next to her said "dunno, probably retarded". (I was speechless!)

Went to the doctors about his constant welly wearing. I was worried that he had problems with his feet. I told the dr about his selective mutism and speech problems. Next thing I know he's shouting at him as if he's deaf. "DO YOUR FEET HURT?". My son looked at him in amusement and didn't answer him!

My nan "I did think he was a bit autistic because he used to have rages, but now I think he's grown out of it"

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 17-Sep-13 21:36:07

I know.
Sad to see people think DD is some sort of second rate child

zzzzz Tue 17-Sep-13 21:31:28

Laughing my head off at "is he dangerous". grin....yes he is you may have to rethink your ridiculous view of the world.

Fanj shock. I mean

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Tue 17-Sep-13 20:52:09

I got one today!

Was at bus stop with a neighbour (who I am pretty sure has autism in fact) and she introduced me to another neighbour of ours I hadn't met.

She then told the neighbour i hadn't met that DD had " a learning disability"..

The woman said her grandson was autistic. Then she said.." well I suppose you will do get SOME pleasure from them"
I was shock

Tigerinthegrass Tue 17-Sep-13 20:47:49

Doctors:" you'll know more about her condition than we will, because its so rare " . Helpful, very helpful

2boysnamedR Tue 17-Sep-13 19:23:41

Omg you have to laugh or you would cry at these.

My mum 'how is he now?' Erm still disabled for life

'Theres a lot of it going around' before even asking why ds is a sen child. I guess there's a bought of sen in the air this winter ( like swine flu no doubt)

WetAugust Tue 17-Sep-13 19:00:13


"When he gets better..." exH soon after dx

"He must be very clever" normal stock response from people on hearing he has Aspergers

"He cannot have asparagus because people with asparagus learn" CAMHS consultant psychiatrist who couldn't even fucking pronounce the condition angry

"Would he like to do woodwork" caring carrot teacher while discussing career options. (He now has 2 science Masters)

"Is he dangerous" an FE lecturer who wondered why he was accompanied to each lesson (by his outreach worker) grin

MovingForward0719 Tue 17-Sep-13 15:28:39

Fellow mum from ms school my son used to attend, asking me how he is getting on in ss. I say oh great, blah blah, working out really well, only 8 in a class etc. Fellow mum: well if they sacked all of these silly TAs, then they could afford to have 8 in a class at ms. Idiot.

Ellenora5 Tue 17-Sep-13 15:28:06

"he will reach a certain level, so that's something to be happy about"

Really, I'm fffnnn chuffed with that, a certain level, who'd have thought it eh!!!

Anychance you could enlighten me a bit more on that, what level and in doing what.

"Oh you no, what most autistics do"

I walked out

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