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Intergalactic travel between counties

(27 Posts)
TOWIELA Thu 01-Aug-13 20:20:35

At the moment - because it's school holidays so no home eding - I have returned (very temporary) to my freelance consultancy in the City of London. Each morning, from my house (Essex) I drive 20 minutes to the rail station to park my car (Hertfordshire). At no point
- do I pass a border control
- am I asked for my passport
- do I have to change my money from Essex pounds sterling to Herts pound sterling
- do I have to purchase a Essex/Herts language/phrase book so that I can understand Herts people

I then board a train. My train journey starts in Herts, crosses into Essex, back into Herts, and then into the London Borough of Enfield, followed by the London Borough of Haringey before I finally reach my destination in the London Borough of the City of London.

No passport. No border control. No change of money. No local phrase book required. All seamless and (normally!) without problems.

Five local education authorities...

If i was to move and put my son into a school in any one of these LAs, because of the way LAs individually interpret the Education Act and the SEN CoP, I might as well go to the moon and speak klingon! An Act of Parliament and Code of Practice: both of which are supposedly NATIONAL. Same law, same CoP. Yet each LA does exactly what they like and pay mere lip-service to national laws & code.

In RL, I've been told "if you think Essex is bad, on no account move into Herts". Really? So I can move 10 minutes down the road into the next village whilst still using the same Tescos, the same local shops, the same train line and even the same bus route. But if I do, my son's education will be even more screwed then it is now! And if Herts really is worse than Essex, god help their SEN children. No one else will!

Do train companies interpret 'elf and safety and transport laws according to the county it is operating in?

Isn't life grand...

fightingyetagain Thu 01-Aug-13 20:29:49

grin I think you should have a passport and border control just like 'Passport to Pimlico'. An 'Understanding Essex lingo' phrasebook is also a necessity imo.
You are right though.LA's do exactly what they like with regard to the law until they get caught/pulled upon it then begrudgingly offer tiny morsels of hope that later get snatched away.
What's the news on the tribunal result?

fightingyetagain Thu 01-Aug-13 20:32:16

Perhaps we should have a voting system/leaderboard so we can cast our votes on the most helpful/unhelpful/unlawful LA's.

TOWIELA Thu 01-Aug-13 20:40:27

Hey, I'm the one in Essex, I don't need a 'understanding Essex lingo' book grin grin Although I'm an honorary Essex girl as I only moved here as an adult so perhaps I do! I might be able to understand my grownup children and DH if I had an Essex lingo book

No news yet. Waiting waiting waiting...

lougle Thu 01-Aug-13 21:15:23

It's dialect, innit?

fightingyetagain Thu 01-Aug-13 21:31:08

Well I was a native village girl but there are definitely lots of Essex dialects now - country village, townie,coastal,estuary,eastender, outsider, market trader, car dealer, etc,etc depending on which part you're from. smile

lougle Thu 01-Aug-13 21:41:51

No, no, no.


"You must be in the bottom 1% of children to get a statement" - we aren't going to spend money on you.

"You must meet band D criteria" -we aren't going to spend money on you.

"We don't statement for ASD" - we aren't going to spend money on you.

"We don't do statements because they are so inflexible" -we aren't going to spend money on you.

"Would you like an IPA, it's so much simpler for parents." -we aren't going to spend money on you.

Dialect, see? grin

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 01-Aug-13 21:50:41

Like it Lougle.

This is something we raised in our House of Commons paper. Why should families suffer this profound curtailment of their freedom of movement? Why doesn't the children and families bill allow for statements to be transferred?

We all know why. LAs have their own particular unlawful practices which they want to protect.

Still doesn't make it any more palatable though does it?

TOWIELA Thu 01-Aug-13 21:57:13


"We fully complied with para x, y and z of the SEN CoP" - but we didn't comply with para a, b and c.

"He can read at 98% fluency" - No statement required, even though the book was for a child 4 years younger

"Statements don't have to be specified and quantified" - we know they do have to be, but we'll say that anyway in case it scares you off

"dyslexia as a condition doesn't exist. It is actually a speech & language issue" - because we don't have any dyslexia primary school provision in Essex, we are trying to shoe-horn your DC into speech & language unit.

^all true

TOWIELA Thu 01-Aug-13 22:04:44

^if the above is what I got from Essex, how can Herts possible be worse! The mind boggles!

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 01-Aug-13 22:20:58

It's incredible isn't it? What an insult to your intelligence.

I had the 'there is no agreed definition of dyslexia so it doesn't really exist'. i challenged this after getting a statement from the BPS to confirm their position.

This was from, interestingly, the same EP who ten months later decided to get involved and share loads of false and nasty gossip from school.

I have also had the entire LA complaints process involved in a written complaints process at the end of which they concluded DS had had OT when he had not over the last year.

So I asked them: send me a copy of the programme then. Silence.

This is Wiltshire who write and tell me they are widely applauded for their practices.

inappropriatelyemployed Thu 01-Aug-13 22:21:42

Entire LA complaints team

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 02-Aug-13 12:20:19

This thread is too funny, and has the skeleton of a good science fiction book.

TOWIELA Fri 02-Aug-13 12:27:03

Well I flippin' jinxed the train lines, didn't I by writing this last night! No trains at all to/from London on this line this morning !! None. Zilch. Zero.

If I believed in conspiracy theories, I'd say that the train line is in collusion with the LAs and refusing access onto their territories if you're from 'over the border'. I'd better find my passport and lingo book ready for Monday's commute!

fightingyetagain Fri 02-Aug-13 13:04:09

That's the power of the LA grin

Trigglesx Fri 02-Aug-13 13:41:58

'over the border'??? I'm in trouble then. I'm from American originally!!! shock

Actually though, I'm in Gloucestershire, where there is some good and some bad. Our MS school was lovely, our LA was obstructive. Although I've heard someone else at our MS is really struggling and says they're not helping them at all, which really baffles me. They were brilliant with DS1. confused

Trigglesx Fri 02-Aug-13 13:42:44

oh good grief. "I'm from American." what a numpty. Serves me right for trying to talk to a 3yo while typing. "I'm from America." There, that's better. hmm

TOWIELA Sat 03-Aug-13 10:56:34

In my post this morning came a letter from Hertfordshire Community NHS Trust about DS's non-existent SALT provision whilst he's out of school. So SALT, an educational requirement, is coming from Hertfordshire but provided for in my Essex town! If we moved over the border into Herts, his SEN education will be crap, but at least we can have the same SALT provision back in my current town!

<Walks away scratching head in bewilderment looking for her lingo book>

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 03-Aug-13 12:02:30

You can't because Herts deny that children with ASD can benefit from SALT and he'd be discharged ASAP.

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 03-Aug-13 12:03:09

By the way, I used to use that train too.....

TOWIELA Sat 03-Aug-13 12:06:12

He doesn't have ASD. He is severely dyslexic - which Essex say is actually speech and language because dyslexia doesn't exist. Or, at least, it doesn't exist in Essex. I wonder if it exists over the border in 'ertfordshire?

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 03-Aug-13 12:11:42

I think it exists but only in children of pushy and greedy parents who can't accept that their child is just thick and therefore doesn't justify resources.

TOWIELA Sat 03-Aug-13 12:17:05

Ha ha! I'm pushy, and greedy - but also very very thick then because I'm severely dyslexic but with a masters degree in history from Cambridge grin grin

TOWIELA Sat 03-Aug-13 12:27:11

The class teacher at my DS's Ofsted outstanding indie mainstream school, which is highly recommended in various publications for its dyslexia provision, told the LA that my son is "academically challenged"!

Only in Essex!

Trigglesx Sat 03-Aug-13 18:39:39

Dyslexia doesn't exist in Essex? confused Do they have border control guards there or something with eye charts and reading tests? hmm

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