Just come of the phone to Happy days charity am quite upset

[PearlyWhites]

I rang happy days to enquire if they took into account family size in their income criteria. My dh earns well below the income criteria however due to having four children our tax credits take us over the limit slightly, they also use gross income.
She told me I was financially more fortunate than a family with an income just below the 25k limit. I tried to explain that a family with one or two children would be better off with an income of 25k than my family is with an income of a few hundred pounds over.
She was then very rude and snotty and told me it was my choice to have so many children , I am really upset by her tone my dd's disability was not evident at birth and even if it was she loves her siblings very much.

[ouryve]

Ouch. Even if she did need to explain why they were absolutely rigid, whether the rule is fair or not, that was extremely callous of her :(

[mymatemax]

certainly doesn't sound like she was having a Happy Day. Maybe drop the trustees a note, explaining that their telephone staff could do with a little coaching!

[PearlyWhites]

No I guess she wasn't having a happy day It fine that we are not entitled it is a charity after all I was just hurt by her attitude.
Have had people make comments about my family size in the past and how can we possible cope with dd's problems and three other children so I am quite sensitive about it.

[bochead]

Having a SN sibling myself and an only SN child I can honestly say I think it's better if a SN child does have several siblings to help out in adult life.

Social care for adults is even more abysmal than for children. My biggest fear is what will happen for DS as an adult when I'm gone. My Mum has at least always had the comfort of knowing that my SN sibling has two sisters who will bat for her if needed.

Sorry if that sounds a bit selfish but I just wanted you to see the other pov to that judgemental cows attitudes. imho she's in the wrong job entirely!

[Svrider]

I find that by been just above the "minimum income" for most benefits we are actually much worse off that if we were paid £200 per YEAR less and be able to claim much more IYSWIM

Sorry your having a bad day