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Please help me, i am torn up over this.

(20 Posts)
Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:34:48

I am a regular, and those who 'know' me will know who i am, but please dont out me, mainly for my own safety as i dont know if they read mumsnet.

My neghbours have several disabled kids. All wheelchair bound, all mentally disabled, all quite severely. I have heard them yelling at their kids at weekends (not so much during the week as they have around 18hours of carers per day). At the weekends they shut the kids in the bus and leave them there for ages (over 30mins today, scorching hot day) they swear at them (bitch etc, your fu*king nasty,) then moan when the kids swear themselves.

I dont know what to do. I think we share SW's, so do i mention the weekend activities. I dont want to be an interferring old bag, but i really feel this family is not coping at weekends. And i just dont know what to do.

brimfull Sun 04-Jun-06 21:39:44

god I fell upset just reading about it,it must be awful hearing it.Could you not report it anonymously to sw,rspcc or something,
sorry not much help,hopefully someone else will beable to give you more advise.

VeniVidiVickiQV Sun 04-Jun-06 21:41:11

report it. If in doubt report it. Always.

No harm will come if there is nothing to it.

2shoes Sun 04-Jun-06 21:42:25

speak to your sw even if you don't share the same one they will be able to alert ss to the problem. you have to do something as the kids are unable to do anything. are they all theirs or do they foster??

nikkie Sun 04-Jun-06 21:43:30

Report to ss but not direct to sw maybe anonymously may be easier?

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:43:52

today was awful, one of the kids was kicking off, they shut the kid back in the bus, and swore at the kid. i could hear another one of the kids screaming and crying inside and raised voices. I think one of the children are non-verbal.

i dread going out in my garden at the weeekends as this is pretty much happens each weekend.

kalex Sun 04-Jun-06 21:44:06


Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:44:44

they are all their own kids.

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:46:24

its easy to say reprt them now, but i really do feel for this family. i genuinally feel its lack of carers support at the weekend. during the week we dont hear much from them. at the weekends the kdis come home from school, and its awful, and they dont seem to have as many hours in place then.

brimfull Sun 04-Jun-06 21:47:40

if you care you should report it

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:48:31

i8 do care. but i also dont want to get these kids taken into care. i want the family to get proper support.

brimfull Sun 04-Jun-06 21:50:52

I know, but maybe they could get support for the w/ends,surely better than putting them in care.Does reporting them mean they'll be put into care?

2shoes Sun 04-Jun-06 21:52:58

i think it is highly unlikely they would be put in care. the family most likely just need more help. caring for disabled kids is so demanding and most sw's understand this.

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:53:23

i dont know. i dont know how that part of the system works.

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads Sun 04-Jun-06 21:53:26

I think better to mention to the SW if you know her reasonably well. Youd could mention it in a quiet way. She will be able to look into their care plan. Must be very hard with so many disabled children, and I would guess it was very unlikely that they would be able to remove them and place them all in the same household so the children would be split up.

When do you next see the SW or would you ring her?

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 21:54:49

i'd give her a ring. we dont see much of her tbh. or should i call the nspcc and explain my concerns?

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads Sun 04-Jun-06 21:56:31

I think better to talk direct to her if you can- perhaps ask her to visit you at home if possible. If you talk to the NSPCC/or SS anonymously then I presume some sort of official investigation will swing into place.

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 22:05:06

i could potentially outr m,yself here, but please dont say who i am.

basically i am being very selfish, i have a hell of a lot on here without worrying about my neighbours, but feel so awful about this. i dont know when i call my SW, and even if its the same dept, as one of the children is officially an adult, and thats possibly the same one we share, the other kids are under 18.

Plus I havent seen my other neighbour all week and am worrying about him.

Iamsosorryforthenamechange Sun 04-Jun-06 22:18:55

btw the reason i posted this on SN is that i knew you would all dismiss them as bad parents, and will be able to see it as not coping (mot saying the other topics would be like that, but i am sure YKWIM)

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads Sun 04-Jun-06 22:44:22

yes I do know what you mean.

I really think your best bet is to have a quiet word with your SW (if you can get hold of her, and of course that is really difficult). if not perhaps talk to SS direct, and stress that you think it is a case of needing more help.

Don't think that you have to take on other people's problems though. Is there anyone who could ring for you?

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