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(34 Posts)
StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 09:25:03

I moved LAs because if the vindictive and malicious nature, not to mention ignorant and law breaking nature of the one I was in.

I had no hopes of the new one, only of starting again. I was expected battles at every turn and bullying so have refused to engage mostly. However, the service I HAVE used have been the usual over-stretched, under-trained blah blah blah and there are immense culture problems but the pure HATE isn't there, and refusal of services is met with relief and a respectful no further questions.

I just want people to know that moving CAN make a hellova difference.

KeepCalmGoCrabbing Wed 26-Jun-13 09:40:13

But why should we move! I wasn't aware that we lived in a nation with different laws for each county!

I have lived in Essex for 24 years - I remember exactly when I moved in -when in the early pregnancy stages with DD1 - full of hope and expectation. I have loved living in Essex, I love the landscape, I love the history, - yes, I even love the people! It is a great place to live... Until I asked the LA for help with my DC3.

Why the hell should I move away from all my family, my grown-up DDs who are just starting on their own family live, my elderly mil who has dementia? Just so that a new LA would treat DS legally and morally! And whose to say that the LA I moved into would not treat DS and me just as badly?

[I feel another name change coming on smile )

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 09:58:47

Oh Keep I don't disagree one iota. We were lucky as no children were yet in school and my family are already spread out.

Our cost of living has doubled as has dh's commute. No pensions, no savings, tiny house.

I'm not recommending it, but rather pointing it out, for those who are considering it and for those who haven't.

I suppose I thought I was offering hope that corruption isn't uniform. I didn't mean to make you angry.

I spent two years on here with people telling me to get the fuck out of my LA, and I held on and held on, because that was where our life was. I can't tell you how much it has improved since we finally bit the bullet, despite our stressful financial situation. Perhaps a solution in a place like yours is to get out of the public services into private/independent.

KeepCalmGoCrabbing Wed 26-Jun-13 10:04:28

Sorry, didn't mean to direct my anger at you flowers I am so angry at the LA angry . My barrister told me to move out of Essex too.

We've tried 4 years of an Ofsted 'outstanding' mainstream indie (don't even get me started on that one!).

We are going to Tribunal to get DS into ss indie.

routineandrules Wed 26-Jun-13 10:12:33

We have just moved into essex, am thinking it was a big big mistake.
But we moved from an area that wud not even put dd on ot waiting list that was one year long as she wasnt "bad enough". Seems like we cant win wherever we go!!

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 10:13:03

LOL Keep, Please don't worry. You're quite right in what you say, I have had far far worse on here and iirc you are going through a stage where anger at everything is a)typical and b) justified.

claw2 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:23:57

I moved LA's and found second one worse than first!

In first LA it was glaringly obvious that the school were totally incompetent. Moved borough to supposedly school with more knowledge and experience of ASD. All this seemed to do was give school more knowledge and experience of how to lie and cover up and give this LA more confidence to blame me!

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Wed 26-Jun-13 10:28:04

Tactically I agree with star. Don't impotently rage against the system but learn the rules and out-play the system. DS2 is in an Essex school but we live just over the border. All the crap with the school, LA EP, and NHS SALT and OT is kept separate from SA application to Suffolk.

(I support the name-change as the original Keepgrin)

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 10:30:58

Yes. Tis confusing confused

KeepCalmGoCrabbing Wed 26-Jun-13 10:33:48

Keep - I only realised after I'd changed my name that there already was one "outstanding" Keep. The rate I'm going with a name change per week, I'll be changing it again soon grin

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Wed 26-Jun-13 11:05:20


The only reason that the LA 'win' is because they treat our children's future as a game. A game with secret rules that either only insiders know and/or are made up on the spot. Secret rules can be immoral and unlawful because they don't really exist. There are geographical differences both in secret rules and in the provision available. If your DC needs indi ss you will stand a better chance if you live in an area with no suitable provision. There may be a rule that despite this indi ss is only named following tribunal.

But there really is no Evil Genius, they play dirty but they are not very clever. The school that they often name is not the best fit for the child but is often trying to force a round peg into a square hole. You are in that sense fortunate that Essex have named m/s with a unit rather than ss as Essex does have provision in ss already attended by DC with SpLD. It is good that they have named m/s with SLT unit as it will be easier to demonstrate its unsuitability. Provision like this is why we moved

AgnesDiPesto Wed 26-Jun-13 11:34:51

My plan when LA next try and remove ABA is to rent out my house and move to the next LA for 6 months then to a third LA for 6 months then back into my house to string out process as long as possible. Totally ridiculous would ever get to this point but I already work in LA2 and take DS3 daily to LA3 so its doable. Next time I will play as dirty as they do. I will have no stupid illusions they will know, let alone follow the law. We're currently in bizarre situation where Sen officer has had personal tragedy and become a born again human and is being nice and helpful which is really disconcerting. DH said our last meeting was like a truth and reconciliation commission except we still don't trust her to be truthful and will probably never be reconciled. DS2 in hospital with newly dx diabetes and bumped into paed who dx'd ds3 yesterday could tell he was digging for info but dh wouldn't give him much after he wrote horrible things about us in the notes. So far diabetes services been a pleasant experience we've seen more profs in 3 days than we saw in a year when ds3 regressed and lost all his skills.

inappropriatelyemployed Wed 26-Jun-13 12:21:35

Anyone want to put this into a story and I'll put it on the blog?

I also think there are implicit restraints on parents' freedom of movement because of the inflexibility of statements and transferring them so even when you have a crap LA, if you have fought for semi-decent provision, it is hard to move.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 12:27:24

What happens is that some LA's become the national provider if they are seen to be soft, so really there is an incentive to 'race to the bottom' in terms of decent/quality provision.

Even if an LA had a state run, cheap but effective intervention, it would still cost a bomb if the whole country moved there to access it.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 26-Jun-13 12:28:20

There needs to be a national strategy, there needs to be consistency, there needs to be accountability and above all, there needs to be evidence-based-practice.

That way, all LAs would be the same.

inappropriatelyemployed Wed 26-Jun-13 12:31:53

Absolutely. I think this is one of the reasons the CFB is such a wasted opportunity.

Perhaps do a brief article Star and tweet link @bengoldacre??

TOWIELA Wed 26-Jun-13 14:27:11

There - I've named changed now. Hopefully you can still spot me and my warped sense of humour grin

Totally and utterly agree that there has to be a national strategy. And rogue LA's have to be exposed and made to account for their actions.

inappropriatelyemployed Wed 26-Jun-13 14:42:13

Please write a piece and Ill stick it on the blog and tweet. We can do an article between us?

TOWIELA Wed 26-Jun-13 14:44:47

sorry - didn't mean strategy. Meant 'there has to be national consistency ' and the law applied consistently to everyone anywhere. I thought that was what laws were for? So that people knew what was legal and what is not? But not in this LA.

Although having read other Essex stories on here, I now know that there is consistency in my LA - it's just that it's illegal and institutional bullying. And there was me thinking I was special!

bochead Wed 26-Jun-13 16:46:19

The smear campaign against Stephen Lawrence's family merely confirmed my suspicions about tptb. There are NO depths to which they will not go in order to mask their own incompetency.

I'm being driven out of my home, having already lost my career, privacy and any semblance of a normal family life. Any genuine progress my child has made has been as a result of private or home interventions that have been repeatedly undone or undermined by the state.

I'm worried sick about the fate of elderly relatives and a special needs sibling once I've gone, but it's the only way at this point to protect my child. I'm not sure I want to engage with state services at all in future beyond the usual A&E emergencies, GP & dentists visits. The fear inducing culture of my LA has succeeded.

TOWIELA Wed 26-Jun-13 18:06:10

bochead - that's appalling. But it doesn't surprise me. They make you feel like criminals. In fact if we were criminals, we would be treated better.

Agnes - I hope DS2 is out of hospital soon. It is ironic that if a child has a medical condition, the NHS care is normally excellent. My son was born with displaced hips and the service & support from Addenbrokes was beyond excellent.

inappropriatelyemployed Wed 26-Jun-13 18:12:34

Bochead - it is an outrage what they do to bully parents. I have felt just a fraction of that with my 'vexatious' ban which was circulated and which silenced me just before a Tribunal with my son's provision not even in place. I was left to teach him myself, pay for lawyers and be abused and vilified.

I will never forget or forgive those involved in this callous betrayal of a child.

I agree TOWIE and Agnes - if you need that part of the NHS which is not associated with education, the service is much better. It's those services which get dragged into block contracting and statement reports that defend their own method of service delivery with lies and collusion .

bochead Wed 26-Jun-13 19:40:19

So does the link with education "pollute" services?

Asking cos when DS had oral surgery the service we received was 2nd to none. Every member of staff we encountered was lovely, and I could have cried at the casual kindness. There was no link with education services, bar the obvious time off school needed.

If it can be proven empirically that education input reduces health service effectiveness, then maybe the root of the corruption can be removed. I believe everything has a core causal factor somewhere if you dive deep enough into the rabbit hole.

At the very least it might be possible to drive schools back into a position where they focus on their core offering - teaching rather than seeing themselves as diagnosticians. I get frustrated with the number of schools I read about on here that block access to medical assessments such as ADOS, or ignore expert therapists advice "because they know better". Teachers are NOT doctors, and shouldn't be expected to do any more than refer on to an expert when they notice a child's development isn't progressing normally.

I remain convinced that "social skills sessions" and the like would probably be better delivered offsite, as they'd be more likely to be administered properly. I'm also deeply concerned that some new school builds are to include the capacity to have a social worker onsite, and worry that this will lead to reduced effectiveness of social care and CP work in practice if it becomes common practice. There's a reason the corporate world chose to outsource non-core business offerings that require specialist expertise in recent years that went beyond mere cost.

I'm thinking out loud as root and branch reform is deffo needed, and I'm not sure Gove is taking us all in the right direction.

claw2 Thu 27-Jun-13 08:02:19

When ds was hospitalised for his self injury for 2 weeks and on IV antibiotics and 'isolated' due his injuries becoming infectious, he was provided with a tutor, without me even having to ask.

The minute he was released from hospital, still infectious and unable to attend school for at least a month, it stopped.

When he was off school again for his self injury, I had to fight for 3 months to get him a home tutor.

Seems to me again a question of professionals covering professionals backs. Mums word or opinion is worth shit.

StarlightMcKenzie Thu 27-Jun-13 08:29:00

It's because when the issue is hidden and no other professional can see it, plus the person who CAN is vulnerable and relatively powerless it can much more easily be ignored.

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