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Not allowed to talk about anything to do with DD's school on any social networking sites.....

(82 Posts)
StarlightMcKenzie Tue 18-Jun-13 14:19:17

And I have to sign something to say that a)I won't, and b)I acknowledge I could be prosecuted.

Any thoughts?

I'm a bit worried about sending dd to a school with such a gagging order.

And, have I just breeched the terms and conditions already?

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:31:23

ALL the schools are full.

Seriously. Most have bulge classes too. What on earth was happening 5 years ago?

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 19:32:23

We'll be thinking of secondary soon enough. I'm scouring the league tables looking for the best schools.
My criteria are the worst ofsted, A'level lowest-performing, and/or highest % of FSM / EAL / SEN etc

MumuDeLulu Tue 18-Jun-13 19:33:55

The subjects of the 1971 demographic bulge were mating

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:36:30


I think that plus the beginning of recession and redundancies making it a career decision for many women who were planning on pregnancies but 'waiting for the right time'.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Tue 18-Jun-13 19:40:28

Starlight <hug> It's a sodding nightmare isn't it! I detest homevisits - pointless snooping activity I think... so I'd be happy not to have one. However, I would not be happy about their attitude - it shows a total lack of ability to work with you. I wouldn't send a child into that environment. I'd be putting her name down on the waiting list elsewhere.


inappropriatelyemployed Tue 18-Jun-13 19:45:54

Polter - associated discrimination only applies to direct discrimination and not the need to make reasonable adjustments for a disability.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 18-Jun-13 19:49:53

So it doesn't apply in my case?

PolterGoose Tue 18-Jun-13 19:52:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inappropriatelyemployed Tue 18-Jun-13 20:20:18

The problem is that direct discrimination means what it says, you have to treat someone differently because of their disability.

You have to approach it this way:

Imagine Ms X rings up school and says, I can't do home visit on that day because I am working and school says, we can't re-arrange, it is a one-off thing, so you've had it.

Then Ms Y rings and says I can't do home visit on that day because I have to collect my child who has a disability from school and school says, we can't re-arrange, it is a one-off thing, so you've had it.

The reason they are saying no to re-arranging is because they are arses, not because of the disability.

If the reasonable adjustment duty applied to associated discrimination, Ms Y could say well you have to make an exception (a reasonable adjustment) in my case because of my child's disability.

But the reasonable adjustment duty does not apply so they are just arses.

PolterGoose Tue 18-Jun-13 20:23:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inappropriatelyemployed Tue 18-Jun-13 20:25:28

Did you notice the technical language - I have got multiple degrees in the language of 'arses' grin

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 18-Jun-13 20:29:13

So my email should really say:

Just sending an email to clarify that the reason I am unavailable for a home visit is due to our responsibility to or ds at that time.

I am sorry that you have chosen to be arses.

inappropriatelyemployed Tue 18-Jun-13 20:31:31

How about:

Just sending an email to clarify that the reason I am unavailable for a home visit is due to our responsibility to our disabled ds at that time.

I am sorry that you could not accommodate this as it places carers at a significant disadvantage.

They won't know jackshit about the EA. That's a technical term too.

PolterGoose Tue 18-Jun-13 20:33:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bochead Tue 18-Jun-13 20:33:52

I agree with Mumlulu's list and would sadly have to decline the place and sit it out on a waiting list for elsewhere. Too many red flags methinks & it's horrid once the child has started to fall out.

No way would I sign any gagging clause, out of sheer principle tbh (I don't even have a FB account). If the schools alright, then why the need to shut you up before you even walk through the gates?

coff33pot Tue 18-Jun-13 23:34:46

I am the most awful suspicious person since battling for DS and reading what goes on around our SN corner with regards to some schools and if I am honest I wouldnt touch this one with a barge pole x Follow your instincts you are good at that smile

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 19-Jun-13 08:35:29

Would not ever sign something so Orwellian in nature. Even the Americans would not do this.

I'd also be looking at other schools for your DD. This place could well become a DFS - disaster from the start.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 19-Jun-13 08:47:03

Can't persuade DH.......

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 19-Jun-13 08:50:25

He can sign the stupid thing then!

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Wed 19-Jun-13 08:51:58

Why not?

What part of this does he find acceptable?

What part of this leads him to believe that they will work with you to accommodate DD's needs?

Why is he getting the final say?

How involved is he with her schooling?


StarlightMcKenzie Wed 19-Jun-13 08:53:35

Sent email. Lost enthusiasm for home visit.

Doubt it will be DFS though as dd is probably one of their desired cohort. Autumn born articulate and confident girl who tells the teachers every 5 minutes how much she appreciates whatever activity they have laid out and gets cross on the last day of the week as weekends are boring and she 'wants to learn things'.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 19-Jun-13 08:54:35

He thinks it is a small price to pay for an 'excellent school'.

I guess we differ in our interpretation of excellent.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee Wed 19-Jun-13 09:00:15

Did you ask him how them being completely unprepared to change the date of a home visit makes it an 'excellent' school?

Does he just think this is about you being able to post on MN?

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 19-Jun-13 09:03:20

No. I don't think so.

I think he thinks that they are being like this because the home visit isn't important, so they're not prepared to bust a gut for something so worthless, and that they have either had a 'situation' regarding facebook that they are trying to avoid repeating or it was just ill thought out.

crazeelaydee Wed 19-Jun-13 10:05:23

Hmm strange, I'm guessing they have had similar happen before then? makes you ponder a bit about what that could of been about?

I find it slightly unsettling that they need to cover their arses just incase confused

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