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Tips to help dd settle at nursery

(14 Posts)
Beanypip Sun 02-Jun-13 19:31:16

Dd is 15 months old has delayed development and brain damage (still waiting the full report so not sure how much) as she sees portage she gets 6 hours at nursery. She's always been with me day in day out and she's so shy and soft the slightest noise scares her then she screams blue murder. I'm taking her for her nursery induction tomorrow and I'm not sure what to expect she hates people touching her that I'm beginning to wonder if its fair to subject the poor nursery staff and children to this! Has anyone else thought their sn child wouldn't settle but was ok at nursery? We are only sending her as I think it will help her with being around others and not being glued to my side. I'm dreading it!

sneezecakesmum Sun 02-Jun-13 20:03:02

I think the only thing you can do is see if it works. Pretty much all children are a bit uncertain at nursery if they have been at home most of the time with mum, but generally settle in after a bit. DGS started at 3 (he has CP) and he did cry initially but settled and loves it now. We didnt think he was ready any sooner than that. If after a couple of weeks with you leaving and coming back she settles then fine, but personally if she is still not happy I would delay it for a couple of months. You just have to trust your instincts and your knowledge of your child on this one. Children with brain injury I think tend to be more sensitive and need to take things at their own pace.

babiki Sun 02-Jun-13 20:09:31

I think at 15 months and a delayed child is very early. She won't understand at all why are you leaving her, will she?

My ds was almost 3 (functioning at about 18 months) when he started and it took couple of months for him to settle; I went in with him every time and stayed the whole time, otherwise he would just cry n

babiki Sun 02-Jun-13 20:10:18

Grrr silly phone

Nonstop. Perhaps you can try that and see how she reacts?

Beanypip Sun 02-Jun-13 20:14:08

She's only delayed in her gross motor skills she pretty bright and seems to understand a fair bit. I think if it doesn't work we will delay it. We was mainly hoping it would help her interaction with other adults but I think I might be asking too much of her too soon hmm

boobybum Sun 02-Jun-13 21:51:42

Have you tried taking her to 'mother & toddler' groups? That way you can see how she is around others but still be there iyswim? You may have to be right by her side all the time to begin with but hopefully as she gets used to the environment you can sit back and let her explore without you.

Beanypip Mon 03-Jun-13 08:52:18

We have been going to time for rhyme since she was 7 months old and also portage do a group, she loves the songs and can do some of the actions and has just started to accept the group leaders who have been there the whole time she seems to love the babies but if the adults talk to her she cries. She seems to like the grandmas that go rather than the young mums not sure why! She won't even accept her own aunties cuddles. Also the nursery has a no dummy policy and dd is addicted to hers! Thanks for all the ideas I think ill start by staying with her and hopefully she will accept at least one adult.

zzzzz Mon 03-Jun-13 09:44:47

If the nursery has a no dummy policy I would wean her off it first, or she may find it quite a hurdle.

If you need the time to recouperate and rest, then you need it. If the aim is dd developing, I would think that would work better with you there to support her.

My son's language was hugely delayed and I was pressured quite hard by everyone to send him at three. I wouldn't do it again. The truth is you can focus the input SO much more effectively than a nursery worker.

MareeeyaDoloures Mon 03-Jun-13 12:33:29

Also the nursery has a no dummy policy

Nope. Reasonable adaptations.
Policies are followed for the benefit of people, not vice versa.

If she's no more attached to the dummy as any other 13m old, then weight up the pros and cons. But if she actually needs it at times to keep calm, perhaps because she is easily startled / upset due to her SN, then it's as discriminatory to take it off her, as it would be to tip a dc from their wheelchair.

MareeeyaDoloures Mon 03-Jun-13 12:35:28

She seems to like the grandmas
If by some chance nursery doesn't go well enough for you to feel happy, maybe an uber-skilled childminder?

Beanypip Mon 03-Jun-13 14:54:46

We have just got back from the nursery it went better than expected. All the little ones seemed to find me amusing and ambushed me for my bag/toys/hair! And she didn't seem to mind them being so close they took her for snack and I popped in another room and she had a massive meltdown but stopped the second I went back in. But that's typical for her with anyone except DH. She cried for a few min when a little one hit her with a toy accidentally but she settled with her dummy. She does need her dummy for settling but they said they can have then anytime so the hv must of got her nurserys mixed up! I was worrying like crazy over the no dummy thing. I'm going back wed thur and fri with her for half hour or so to help ease her in. I took her stacking cups as she loves them and didn't even flinch when they was took of her by excited little ones. Though she was the only one who could stack them wink grin

zzzzz Mon 03-Jun-13 15:00:30

HV probably made it up. The anti-dummy brigade can be ruthless.

I'm so had it went well.

MareeeyaDoloures Mon 03-Jun-13 19:43:08

ah good. I didn't want to come out straight with telling you never to leave a baby with the kind of cruel witch who would steal their noo-noo.

Beanypip Mon 03-Jun-13 19:58:42

Lol that made me laugh. Though I do seem to attract the old ladies that seem to enjoy pinching it out her mouth while telling me its a bad habit. How I love a good debate about dummies wink

Thank you everyone for your replies and help x

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