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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

Getting myself so worried about DS1.

(66 Posts)
blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 13:29:25

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Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads Mon 22-May-06 13:33:31

He sounds like he needs to be assessed. Have you spoken to the school? It's best if the assessment is done by a peadiatrician, rather than an ed pscyh. (Clinical psychs can be another option- but a paed is best).

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 13:38:33

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blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 13:40:14

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Saker Mon 22-May-06 13:46:52

The poor motor skills, lying around, problems with socialisation etc can sometimes be due to dyspraxia. There is a lot of information about his on the Dyscovery Centre website. Also Dyspraxia Foundation . It would be useful for him to be assessed by an Occupational Therapist in addition to a paed.

Don't blame yourself - it's not your fault. I am sorry that you have this worry.

heavenis Mon 22-May-06 13:53:58

I really feel for you.
Since ds1 started nursery they have said there is something but they don't know what.
He's on school action + and I have an appointment on wednesday to see the Ed psych,I have no idea what to expect. All they've said at school is that he is well behind the other children in his year.
I go through stages of blaming my self,thinking if only he had been born when he should have been due he'd still be in yr1 and not yr2.
Sorry this turned into a bit of a ramble.

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 13:55:37

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blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 13:56:59

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AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 22-May-06 13:57:27

Do not blame yourself, take this from a past master in beating herself up!!.

With his difficulties he ought to be on School Action Plus (this is one step up from SA) at the very least. Will school move him up a stage?. If not why not?. What's on his IEP - is he meeting his targets?.

Would certainly get a developemental paediatrician on side to assess your son - your GP can refer you to such a person. An appointment with an occupational therapist would also be beneficial - again your GP should refer you.

Another thing to seriously consider re your son's education is getting him a Statement of Special Needs from the LEA. You can as the parent write to the LEA requesting your son is assessed. Would consider doing this asap. Unlike SA and SA plus this is a legally binding document outlining your son's difficulties along with funding for extra support - support that the school cannot provide otherwise.

I wish you well

LIZS Mon 22-May-06 14:03:10

I'm sorry you are so upset but remember that this is definitely not your fault. You want to feel your child is "normal" and it is hard to accept other people suggesting otherwise and naturally listen to those whose offer reassurance. You can ask your gp to refer him if you find dealing with the school hard but you may get him seen quicker via them.

We have found with ds that his social skills can fluctuate depending how comfortable he is with a situation. He too can be happy on his own, in a small group of friends , or prefer to play with his sister whilst among a larger peer group. He has motor problems but with small focussed group work his handwriting has progressed so much over the past 6 months. He did have OT privately abroad for a year and that helped considerably with many of the practical and organisational problems. We are currently awaiting an assessment to see if he can have OT on NHS.

hth and good luck

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:04:49

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blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:07:04

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peachyClair Mon 22-May-06 14:10:46

Hi Blue

we're in a similar place with DS, also 6, although he's on every waiting list you can imagine now for assessment. I would say get it moving early.... can take years in some places.

I know what you mean about bad and good days, ds1 can be like that. Sam is also very good with adults (not unusual in AS) so they send in an adult for a chat and he seems fine and .....!!!!!

All I can do is offer a <<<hug>>> and tell yout hat IPSEA and the National Autistic Society ahve offered us so much even without a DX. There's also BIBIC if you want to go that route, I would recommend them


CappucinoInABadMood Mon 22-May-06 14:10:50

I think you need to go into school and push for whatever you can get. I think you should contact your gp or health visitor and ask what you should do

it is dreadful watching your child being 'different' and hoping it will go away while knowing inside that it won't. I know very well how hard it is.

involvement of professionals and a diagnosis won't change how your ds is, but it does give you the leverage to get him the help he needs in school, whether that's a support assistant some of the time, or specialist input to achieve his potential

you need to get him as much support and input as you possibly can and not just rely on the school to tell you what he needs; schools can be great but there are others who you need to help you as well

good luck

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:22:01

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CappucinoInABadMood Mon 22-May-06 14:30:54

blueteddy; imo some grandparents want to bury their heads in the sand and not deal with the difficulties facing their grandchildren, because it's hard

my mil is quite good at this even five years in

it makes it difficult because you want support from them but sometimes they're not capable of giving it; it's not that they are not understanding it's just that it's hard for them too, no-one wants anything to be wrong, and ignoring the possibility of a problem it is one way around it

unless you just have gittish parents

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 22-May-06 14:31:15


Statements can be indeed bloody difficult to get a hold of but not impossible. If you have to apply for one of these documents do not give into pressure!!.

The onus is very much on parents to get the help their child needs. You are your son's best - and only - advocate.

Another poster has mentioned IPSEA - they are very good when it comes to helping families with regards to the educational system.

peachyClair Mon 22-May-06 14:31:28

I am surprised your HV hasn't already arranged a referral: if she's not helpful, go via your GP. But don't wait too long- the earlier AS is dix's, the earlier strategies can be put in place.

i too get very teary and have panic attacks when I have to discuss Sam, I am sure the schoolt hinks I am odd. I'm not though, I just love him. Is that so wierd? I think not!

LIZS Mon 22-May-06 14:34:31

Oh yes, the family who mean well, listen but either dismiss it or misunderstand and choose to only see the "normal" child , know it well. I'm afraid you learn to be selective in sharing the burden

ds may well be dyspraxic, but although his teacher at the time mentioned it, everyone since has skirted around using the actual term. In fact dyspraxia is just a list of symptoms so a label of such may not be much of a step forward. He was assessed as being up to a year behind on personal/social skills and up to 18 months behind in locomotor skills on the Griffiths test last autumn, so fairly borderline. He's now 8 and he had his first assessment and Occupational Therapy as he turned 6.

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:35:41

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blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:38:02

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blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:42:15

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LIZS Mon 22-May-06 14:43:31

Not officially no , but we are 95% sure. Not helped I suppose by having moved countries last summer and having to start again. We should get an OT assessment on NHS towarsd the end of this year

blueteddy Mon 22-May-06 14:47:17

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CappucinoInABadMood Mon 22-May-06 14:51:22

isn't that your dad trying to be supportive? if it was obvious that you were upset he was just lashing out at what he saw as the source of the upset.

I mean i realise it doesn't help

you do need support, you need to find somewhere where you can get it for yourself. you need to push to find if there is a parent's support group locally or even just a health professional that you can talk things through with

it's easy to forget that you need help, often even now I forget that I need it and then I end up suddenly surprised by how upset I am and posting threads like this rather than ringing up a mum I know who is in the same position

if they're going to make it worse, wait until you have a little bit more information and then tell them what the score is; if they can't help you through this process then don't expect them to because it's going to make it even harder for you

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