While going through his wifes dresser drawers, a farmer discovered three soybeans and an envelope containing $30 in cash. The farmer confronted his wife, and when asked about the curious items, she confessed:
Over the years, I havent been completely faithful to you.
When I did fool around, I put a soybean in the drawer to remind myself of my indiscretion, she explained.
The farmer admitted that he had not always been faithful either, and therefore, was inclined to forgive and forget her few moments of weakness.
Im curious though, he said, Where did the thirty dollars come from?
Oh that, his wife replied, Well, when soybeans hit ten dollars a bushel, I sold out!
In nineteenth century Oxford, a student was caught by one of the proctors (university officials responsible for discipline) arm in arm with a lady of ill repute. When challenged the student protested, 'She's my sister.'
The proctor objected 'Don't be ridiculous - this woman is a known prostitute!'
The student replied, 'Yes I know sir. Mother's terribly cut up about it.'