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Oh, hell, how to help DS? Aspergers, unrequited love and A levels...

(4 Posts)
Tingalingle Wed 15-May-13 11:38:00

I feel very unqualified for this bit of parenthood.

DS is 17. He's in a tiny A-level set that unfortunately includes a girl he has fallen for and is obsessing about in a way that I'd find quite scary if I was on the receiving end -- and she has a boyfriend anyway. She seems to have started as a friend to joke around with, something he's barely had in his life since Primary, and I think he'd built more on this than it warranted.

Last night he was in floods of tears and coming out with some worrying stuff about wondering if life was worth it if he was always going to be struggling because of his Asperger's, then switching to wondering about buying new stuff for his drumkit.

He's also worried he may be gay (not sure how he squares that with the other obsession).

He's barely eating (food issues anyway, and the sawdust-in-mouth effect of stress).

Oh, and he is somehow trying to do AS levels amidst all this turmoil.

He has full-time help available at school but understandably doesn't want to blazon his private affairs to them. We don't have any regular services lined up for him outside school and the GP already thinks I'm a paranoid parent, but should I be looking for psych help for him or reassuring him that all teens go through this sort of thing?

(I didn't, but I was one hell of a late developer and saved it for college...)

coff33pot Wed 15-May-13 12:25:04

Oh bless him he is going through a right rough patch with a lot of teenage worries.

I do think its important though that you make the school aware of these feelings for this girl just in case he misinterprets pure genuine friendship for more than that. This girl no doubt could be unintentionally lining herself and him up for a huge upset x It could end up more serious and your son really needs protecting against that as does this girl.

My son is not 17 yet and has a way to go. The difficult bit is having these teen feelings but not the maturity to deal with it. Teens struggle so much anyhow without the added difficulties your son has. I am dreading when DS reaches this age to be honest.

Hope someone comes along soon with some advice/support.

Tingalingle Wed 15-May-13 19:02:51

Oh thanks Coffee. He's so young for his age in many ways -- except for the wretched hormones!

He's currently cuddling the guinea pig (who seems to be quite a good listener).

coff33pot Wed 15-May-13 19:46:33

Guinea pigs are great listeners grin they sort of chunter back at you like they know what you are on about!

I hate hormones, my eldest was hell on earth with them, she had other things to contend with but I could work out which was which ugh!

Middle dd is now 12 and just started periods and oh boyyyy tears one minute hysterical laughter the next. Along with the "fitting in" where she doesnt quite fit ie hates horsey girls and would rather go programming club and table tennis with the boys, hence the girls detest her just now. The emotions are running high but I know give it a few years and I suspect she will give back as good as she gets here is hoping!

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