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Damaged relationships - worth it or not?

(3 Posts)
LAdilemma Tue 07-May-13 18:41:10

I am seriously considering submitting a disability claim through Sendist and am told I have a pretty strong case.
Ds has left the school now so I'm not bothered about upsetting them. Dh and others though are concerned that it would be too stressful and that the LA would not be helpful in the future if we took the school to court. I feel that as LA's are used to being taken to tribunal they surely can't hold grudges against everyone that upsets them - perhaps I'm naive.
I would appreciate any views on this.

cansu Wed 08-May-13 08:05:22

Actually I think they do hold grudges. I remember chatting about this with a social worker and she implied that our family was known about as being a pita because we went to tribunal and because I fought to get good provision for my ds and my dd. I don't really mind this because I know it was the right thing to do but I am surprised that I am 'disliked' because of it and am careful to complain only when I really need to. Personally I would not do this unless there will be a definable outcome that is important for your ds future. Proving they were wrong shouldn't be your aim because you could inadvertently make matters worse in future when you need to appeal something else or if you end up sitting round a table with these people in the future. I am also aware that social care and education do talk to one another. Ds social worker told me she sits across the room from the sen officer who I was dealing with for both my cases. pick your battles is my motto. I know that this probably isn't what you want to hear and I have read all you posts on this matter. Winning your case is unlikely to change anything for other parents either. I won my very expensive indie placement for ds because his school didn't provide salt for him. Six months later they were still not providing salt. They have lost other tribunals for crap provision. Clearly they haven't learned and probably won't change.

CwtchesAndCuddles Wed 08-May-13 09:01:32

The LA will remember, is it worth burning bridges if you still need to work with them for many years to come? Unless you are sure that the result would be worth the stress and make a difference I'd be inclinded to walk away.
The SEN community is quite small and families who stir things up will be remembered for it. That is the sad reality.

Only you can decide if you are able to walk away or not but make sure you think through your decision carefully.

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