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Really can't cope any more.

(10 Posts)
Scottishdancer Tue 07-May-13 15:54:06

Recently lost tribunal to put ds in indie spld school.Everyone said we should have won, but we didn't (are going to appeal). We were going to move anyway to be nearer the school so decided to look at the schools in that area and see if they would work. They wont, we had to have meeting in playground as ds couldn't tolerate sound of bell for change of lessons. He is refusing to go to school on most days her, if we move there are no schools he will be able to manage. Supposed to be choosing a secondary school for next year, but all are very large 1400+ and he is not coping with 300 at moment, and all have bells, and now it looks as if house sale has fallen through. I don't think I can take any more, just don't know what to do.

popgoestheweezel Tue 07-May-13 16:05:55

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I've not got much advice as I'm not experienced in tribunals etc but I am sure someone will be along soon. I can though empathise with you, I had a bad morning with ds today (after a challenging weekend). he cried and screamed all the way to school i couldnt have got him there without dh. When i got back from the school run I just cried for an hour and a half. It is bloody hard sometimes but you know there are people that understand here.

Icedcakeandflower Tue 07-May-13 16:09:58

<Holds hand> I have no words to make it better, but just want to say I have some understanding of what it's like.

I asked the OP in another thread if their ds was getting anything out of attending. Perhaps this is something you can look at, and decide if the daily battle is worth fighting.

And then make some decisions.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 07-May-13 19:36:51

SD, I know what it like to suffer this level of devestation and sheer anger at the justice system which should have made the last years of fighting worth the effort, - and the fact that there is a very vulnerable little boy who's life and chances have seemingly been totally fucked up as a result.

The house sale thing is just a normal-level stress on top of it all.

In truth, I'll never entirely get over being utterly screwed over the way we were. I think it was worse than receiving a dx for us tbh.

But life WILL go on. And there are good times to be had if you can try and find them. Don't let this distroy you. Your ds knows and will always know what you have done for him. YOU certainly haven't let him down.

If you don't know what to do, then for a while do nothing. Take the pressure off of yourself and rest.

marjproops Tue 07-May-13 20:31:11

I had soooooo many probs with school placements that i ended up thing EVER.

can you not try that OP? look it up on google. easier than it seems. and no more stress with sencos/support teachers/noise/crowds etc.

DC has bennifitted so much from it and i wish id done it years ago.

Of course, appeal your case by all means.

bloody 'experts' and their beurocracy get on my bloody t****s.

they always say they have the childs best interests at heart....tosh. they HAVE no hearts.

you can tell ive had years of this!!!

fasparent Thu 09-May-13 00:30:30

agree with marjproops our ds experienced at least several exclusions each term, got £3000 off LA for support at school , was given full exclusion LA withdrew funding, We entered dialog with school too keep him on school roll., but educate at home work set by school, just had too attend too sit exams etc. He set himself his own standard's against predicted results by school, these he achieved far above schools expectations. A challenge he relished. We did similar for daughter achieved Student of the year later at College.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Thu 09-May-13 07:48:42

SD - sorry that you are having such a hard time sad.

Don't worry about the house, another will come up or you can always sell and rent - we did.

Of course DS won't cope with secondary so really don't worry about the school. You probably wouldn't be able to get him to attend anyway. You are doing the right thing visiting potential schools. But I think now might be the time to let the wheels falls off instead of exhausting yourself trying to keep them on. Actual rather than predicted 'failure' won't harm your case at appeal.

flowwithit Thu 09-May-13 08:13:52

Keepon is right it won't harm your case appeal. I think it's normal to feel exhausted with all the hurdles you have had to try and get over!
Try and be kind to yourself and if you can get some time off doing something else different or nicer no matter how small. Give yourself time to get your strength back and then you can carry on sorting it out. Hope you feel better soon.

Ineedmorepatience Thu 09-May-13 08:29:14

I agree with the others, it is not surprising you feel like throwing the towel in. You must be exhausted. I have also done the whole dragging to school thing and I will never do it again.

We are looking at secondary in 2014 and I dont know if Dd3 will cope, if she doesnt I will HE.

Try to be kind to yourself. Take some time out, go away if you can. And then come back and keep on doing the best for your Ds but attending school just might not be the right thing for him.

Good luck smile

marjproops Thu 09-May-13 20:31:22

Op can you afford private tutoring? (if you cant face personal HE)

another bugbear as DC has sn and even tho I HE I could do with extra support which I keep fighting for, as Im her senco too, which is okay, I have teaching experience, but its the principles of it.

and I cant afford a PT, although my brilliant partnership with parents (PWP) is trying her socks off to get some support.

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