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My son punched his TA last week

(6 Posts)
ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 06-May-13 09:22:31

younger son. This comes a while after he poked another TA in the eye, which I posted about. At the moment, the school are insisting that they can meet his needs and that they don't want him to go. They have identified a potential issue and changed things round to make sure it is solved but he will be 13 next, he's taller than me and he's getting more aggressive. The head said to me that "he's only going to get bigger" which of course is true grin

He isn't able to tell me what's going on, isn't able to explain or even identify his emotions. I drew a cartoon strip with him, trying to tease out the events leading up to him thumping his TA, and also drew a variety of faces (happy, sad, cross, scared - with the words next to them) with tick boxes in the hope he does understand his emotions he just can't express them, and wrote 5 reasons for hitting the TA, also with tick boxes, but he just ticked the last box in both cases without looking. So I don't feel he actually understood.

When I went to fetch him after the incident, he was totally baffled. He couldn't even answer the question what's happened.

I'm thinking it could be the sudden surge of puberty hormones, do you think that's it? Did you see an increase in aggression at this time?

They're back tomorrow and I want to be able to say or suggest something but tbh I am at a loss. any ideas?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 06-May-13 09:23:13

When I say they don't want him to go, I mean they don't want him to leave the school.

bluewasp Mon 06-May-13 09:30:13

Hec - it is good that the school want to support your ds - mine was permanently excluded for a lesser offencesad
My ds is a similar age and I would definitely agree that hormones did play a part in increasing his level of aggression and intolerance of staff.
Are there any physiological indicators before he snaps which the staff could pick up on e.g getting red in the face, becoming agitated etc?
Also, do they know what triggered the violence in the first place?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 06-May-13 09:34:21

It is. They really are brilliant. You hear so many horror stories about mainstream but I have to say that this school have and continue to bend over backwards for both my children. I'm sorry that your son's school were not supportive.

He is very unpredictable. You can see an increase in his general agitation and one clue is that he gets really really loud, He constantly vocalises anyway, but these increase in volume and he also uses obscene language. (which I PROMISE he has not got from home! Honestly he hasn't) but they know to remove him from the classroom and take him to a quiet space.

This came out of the blue. He asked his ta a question, ta got it wrong and he punched him.

bluewasp Mon 06-May-13 09:58:32

Is the TA still happy to work with him? Ds had numerous TA's which were all inexperienced and when they started to become 'scared' of him the school then decided it was best to remove him.
It is very hard to manage children when they are so unpredictable and unable to explain why it happened. I'm not sure if there is anything that you can really suggest to the school though that would help.

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Mon 06-May-13 10:08:38

Oh yes. Both TAs (the one that got poked in the eye and this one) were upset that my son was possibly going to get into trouble. They knew they had to report it - because it indicates a need to review how things are done - but they were, according to the senco and another TA I happened to speak to, just concerned about how my son was going to be.

I can't think of anything either, yet I feel like I ought to be able to. All you can do is manage his behaviour. Which they do. He's caught me a time or two! Most notable after an operation when he flew at me and started punching and trying to kick my staples.

most of the time he is a laid back, placid, gentle loving little soul. But then you get this - rage - that he can't control.

I think he feels bad about it. Afterwards he is very quiet for a few hours. I interpret that as regret? remorse? but equally it could be a rush of a 'comedown' or some other reason for physically and emotionally shutting down and I am just putting that interpretation on it because I want or need to think that he regrets?

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