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BIBIC assessment just done for 3 year old - need to talk

(21 Posts)
NourishingButtons Sat 04-May-13 12:51:19

Just spent 2 days at BIBIC with my 3.5 year old DS. They don't diagnose but indicate, which showed he has quite severe sensory processing problems, is gifted in areas of non verbal reasoning and others, and is likely to very likely aspergers. This is all what I suspected but also was doubting myself as a neurotic mum as others implied that. My head is in a spin and I am hanging by a string, as I have been parenting a very clever manipulative son who is also more needy which is a tricky combo, coupled with sensory meltdowns and aspergers type meltdowns - I have been near breakdown many times. On top of this we are having to appeal his school admission, they have offered a different village school on a minibus with unfamiliar peer group. BIBIC were amazing and have given us lots of daily therapy to do to stimulate sensory development, and communication strategies for aspergers stuff. Am scared for his future and want to ensure he reaches his full potential and has a happy life. Am about to send off letter for stat asses, although our LA are very strict with a particularly low % of statemented children. What support would he need in school? Does anyone want to chat with me about my situation? Really need emotional support with all this, my DH is great but is struggling with health issues (in part due to sons behaviour, as am I), my parents offer no emotional support just undermining and judgement. Am hoping to hear from Homestart for a weekly volunteer mentor which will help.

Sunnymeg Sat 04-May-13 13:35:19

Hi, not really in a position to help, but sending ((((hugs))))!

MareeyaDolores Sat 04-May-13 16:38:21

Stat assessment and homestart are a good start. Portage might be available (ask the HV). And you're here for emotional support wink

Worth getting GP referrals now for occupational therapy, speech therapy and paediatrician as you'll need to NHS-rubber-stamp what BIBIC have discovered. You can usually appeal school placement on 'exceptional medical and social grounds': being too fragile for the bus might do it. But this varies according to area.

MareeyaDolores Sat 04-May-13 16:39:35

Is he in pre-school? Some are very good at implementing programme's like BIBIC's.

Ineedmorepatience Sat 04-May-13 16:47:32

One of the best things I did was start to treat Dd3 as if she had Asd even before she had a firm diagnosis.

It sounds as if BIBIC are going to be really helpful but have they advised you to use visuals to support you Ds? Often changes in routine or having to do something different can cause massive meltdowns. Using a visual timetable with photos or symbols can really help.

We also use a red and yellow card system to let Dd3 know that her behaviour is not acceptable and at work we use happy and sad face cards to help the children to understand.

I use the sign for stop/wait both at work and at home, it is a great visual clue.

Get the book "10 things every child with autism wishes you knew" for you and your husband to read. It is an easy read but explains a lot.

Fill in an appeal form for the school and then make a list of reasons why he should go to the nearest school. You have a good case for appeal especially if he has been at nursery at the school you want. Mention peer group and friendship group in your appeal. also mention SN's and get that SA request done.

Most of all remember he is still your lovely little boy. You are going to have to parent him differently but thats OK and when you find what works with him he will hopefully settle a bit and not be quite so challenging. Ditch traditional discipline methods. They dont usually work with children with Asd. Find what works for you and you Ds and go with it, dont worry about what other people say.

Feel like I am bombarding you now. You can do this. It will be different to what you expected but you can do it.

Be kind to yourself and good lucksmile

Oh and keep coming on here, its the best place for support smile

NourishingButtons Sun 05-May-13 15:39:53

Mareeya, he has been referred to speech/lang, paed through gp. Unfortuntely there is no 'social/medical' appeal route for us, we can only appeal on the 'perverse/unreasonable' thing, which I obv think it is, but its a very high barr to win legally. Am just doing some appeal work and its a headache we just don't need with everything else sad

Ineedmorepatience - thanks for the support, yes its weird - he is still my little boy and nothings changed - but somehow it has as now i know I wasn't a crazy neurotic mum as some people implied, but he has very specific needs. Easily missed on a good day, but as mum, with him a lot more, I just knew. Will be getting statutory assessment off this weekend, and just doing appeal. Very hard to win as its an infant class size prejudice appeal. God, I never expected becoming a mum would be such a tough road. I have a 17month old NT daughter who is a bit of a lifeline for my sanity, in fact seeing her development firmed up my mind about my son even more. Very happy we have got to this stage so early in his life though so we can implement such early intervention.

Am sure I will be back on here lots in the months and years to come!!

MareeyaDolores Sun 05-May-13 19:07:37

ah well, you need a statement then. Statemented dc are allocated schools outwith the normal admissions procedures, and they don't count for the infant class maximum numbers etc.

And if that's the only suitable school, and the only way in is to have a statement, then that alone would be quite good grounds to succeed, should you need to go to tribunal for the statement.

MareeyaDolores Sun 05-May-13 19:09:15

You can keep him in preschool with 15h/week funded hours, till the term after his 5th b'day. Council aren't allowed to say no to funding if the preschool are willing to keep him.

NourishingButtons Sun 05-May-13 19:30:05

Thanks Mareeya, I had found out about the pre-school thing which I was surprised about but is great. We live in North Somerset and the % for statements is only 1.7 compared to national average of 2.7% so I think its gonna be tough. The school we have been offered is the next village 2 miles away, and I don't know what grounds or control we have over getting our village school named on statement. Especially as if he is still in Pre School after September then our keeping him in his peer group argument will not be so relevant. I am feeling so despondant, coming to terms with the reality, and our future uphill struggles

MareeyaDolores Sun 05-May-13 21:49:28

Didn't you say he'd be going on the school bus? If a risk assessment were to demonstrate they'd need an escort, having to pay for an extra staff member might help the LA to understand your POV wink

He'll still have some peer group at preschool: the dc who aren't quite old enough for reception will still be there. And not bussing him into the next village will mean he's potentially in the park at 3.05pm daily as his old friends arrive for a quick after-school play.

Tbh, I don't think SN dc belong in reception, so (providing you get the village school in time for year 1), it might be a blessing in disguise. Personally, I don't rate formal schooling for any 4y old, let alone those delayed in any area.

MareeyaDolores Sun 05-May-13 21:51:31

Everyone told me ds1 would be fine, and there was no need to try and delay his start at school. He wasn't, and I should have. Took me nearly 2 years to get him back to baseline angry

MareeyaDolores Sun 05-May-13 21:53:51

You can name any mainstream you want providing he doesn't disturb the 'efficient education' of the other dc. By which they mean totally wreck it wink

mummytolucasandkatie Mon 06-May-13 09:16:42

Just wanted to pop in and say hi , I'm in a very similar situation and just some of the thing you are saying is exactly how I feel I've posted a but further up I'm a first timer =p I'm also looking for some support my son is 3 and five months xx

NourishingButtons Mon 06-May-13 18:57:33

Mareeya, yeah am glad found out he can stay at pre-school. Someone did say to me its much harder for them to start in year 1, but he just seems so young as well as all the other stuff. Is it the parents choice to name any school even if it means going over 30 and employing an extra teacher?

Hi mummytolucasandkatie, just read your other post, its a hard time. I flip between relief at a professional seeing the issues and scared of the future!! Lets chat more!

NourishingButtons Mon 06-May-13 19:06:48

Ineed - therapist told me how to visual timetable for each day, just rough sketches.

Pre school had done one for getting dressed etc in morn, but there were nearly 10 cards which he got bored with and therapist said that that level was more for low functioning.

Am going to buy a specific sketch pad thing for it, and do it each morning for him. My drawings are pretty ropey though ha!

MareeyaDolores Mon 06-May-13 20:03:37

More or less parent's choice. I think. This is how i understand it, someone more expert might come along though. The 'need an extra teacher' rule doesn't necessarily apply as statemented dc don't count for those numbers. The presumption is that the dc's specified provision (in the statement) is sufficient to cover their needs.

Ineedmorepatience Mon 06-May-13 21:01:23

You could use a camera and take pics of his clothes, toothbrush, breakfast bowl, pre school, home, shop and whatever else you do then you can find all the ones you need for the day to help him see what is happening.

Good luck smile

mymatemax Mon 06-May-13 21:04:26

dont be put off applying for a statement.
I read the SEN code of practice over & over.
It tells the LEA what they are supposed to do, I then used the same SEN cop terminology highlighting ds2's needs.
So for example - the SEN cop says that the schools must allow a child with SEN to access the curriculum equal to their peers.
I listed how without help & support ds would not be able to access the curriculum equal to his NT peers.
Therefore without XY & Z the LEA would be failing to provide a suitable education etc etc, it was a number of yrs ago now but you get the jist.

DS2 prefers photos relevant & specific to him for his visual timetables, he struggles to associate random items with himself, so his dressing VT has a picture of his wardrobe, school uniform etc.
He manages it himself & comes to me with any empty VT but fully dressed & ready for school most mornings. you will find whatever process works for your ds.
Remember, its a marathon, not a sprint so look afteryourself along the way & its ok to not do everything all at once.

NourishingButtons Tue 07-May-13 19:55:23

Thanks so much mymatemax. I am going to write the letter requesting it tonight, and will get info from the SEN code of practice. A fun evening for me tonight then!

Do I need to ask for specific things from the statement in my letter, or does that come later?

What kind of support would he need? Is there specific separate therapy type help for him to learn social stuff, or is it just 1-2-1 LSA/TA type stuff? TIA

mymatemax Tue 07-May-13 21:49:43

in your initial letter requesting SA you dont need to be too specific regarding actual strategies & support but be specific regarding your reasons for requesting SA.
There may be some standard draft letters available on-line I dont think i have a copy of our original.

NourishingButtons Tue 07-May-13 22:55:47

This is my letter, the main bit, is it ok??

xxxxxx had an assessment at BIBIC on xxxxx and it is strongly indicated that he has severe sensory processing and integration difficulties, also that it is likely to very likely that he has/will develop Aspergers Syndrome.
He struggles a lot with closure and transitions, inflexibility and lack of impulse control. This results in outbursts and meltdowns which are difficult to predict.
He struggles to understand others needs and social communication.
He experiences sensory overload and is overly sensitive to some sensory stimuli which again can lead to quick outbursts and can accelerate to meltdowns if not managed.
The Pre-School environment has a substantial higher ratio of adults to children when compared to School, and he experiences difficulty.
In order to access the curriculum equal to his peers he will need help with the areas of difficulty mentioned above.
My reasons for believing that the school cannot on their own make the provision required to meet my child’s needs are:
The Pre-School environment has a substantial higher ratio of adults to children when compared to School, and he experiences difficulties as mentioned above in this environment and with the higher ratio.
xxxxxx's needs require specialist support that is not usually offered in school.
He needs specialist help to learn the social communication and interaction needed in life and in the school environment.
He needs specialist help with how to deal with his sensory problems so it does not impact on his ability to access the curriculum.
He needs specialist help with overcoming his overly quick reactions, again so it does not impact on his ability to access the curriculum.

??? TIA

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