Hi
This is a really interesting issue and I'd like to offer my perspective as a mediator. This is my first posting onto Mumsnet, so please bear with me and excuse any newbie errors - which I'll be happy to correct!
First of all, contributors have made really good points. I'm not surprised that MumuDeLulu started this thread asking for other parents' experiences. Mediation (the process, the potential benefits and how it fits in with other avenues such as an appeal) could be better explained and advertised. There is information on the Gov.UK site, and on websites for specific voluntary sector organisations, but its not always easy to find. LAs should also clearly explain to parents that mediation is an option that can be pursued alongside an appeal.
I've trained as family and relationship mediator and am also a qualified lawyer with experience of advising and representing parents in SEN cases. I've also worked for national charities as a senior legal adviser, which included advising families on education issues. I'm mentioning this so people can get an idea of my background and perspectives on disputes.
Its worthwhile remembering the key principles of mediation: its voluntary, its independent, its confidential and the decision making power rests with the parties - not the mediator. The first and last principles are the clearest difference with an appeal or other litigation.
Mediation may not work in your situation, as it might not be suitable for mediation. If you do mediate, you might not get the result you want. That can also be true of litigation. However, its worth considering mediation as it can provide a quicker and less stressful alternative to tribunal. It can also be a lot cheaper than instructing solicitors/counsel.
A mediator is impartial, but not powerless. In particular, a good mediator can level the playing field and correct any actual or perceived power imbalances between an LEA/school etc and parents. InappropriatelyEmployed makes a valid point in saying that parents can be pressured into an agreement. However, a good mediator should be able to detect this (we are trained to do so after all!) and address it - robustly if necessary.
A mediator does have to have a detailed knowledge of the law (or be a lawyer) to mediate in a given area, as mediators don't give advice, but rather information. Mediators who are lawyers and have experience of the issues, as I do for education cases, can potentially offer an enhanced service as we will have a good understanding of the issues and law. Although we have to be careful not to give advice, we can help the parties to "reality-test" any points or proposals. Also, there are differences between the different styles of mediation, and its worth finding out in advance what style the particular mediator uses.
InappropriatlyEmployed and Starlight both ask a good question: if an LA is willing to talk/make concessions, why does it need to be in a room to do so? Equally, if parents are willing to make some concessions (which could be harder) then why be in a room to do so? The answer could be that the process of a structured face-to-face discussion with a neutral third party could be what's needed for the parties to reach agreement. I know that parents may well have had meetings with the LEA/school, and might be thinking, so what's different about mediation? The answer is that it's a neutral process, overseen by an impartial person who can take action to keep the discussion on track and moving forward.
At the end of the day, mediation may not be the answer for your situation. You can still try it without undermining your other options, such as an appeal. You can run mediation alongside an appeal (and its always prudent to know your limitation dates and deadlines) and you could lodge an appeal to protect your own position whilst still moving forward to mediation. Any LEA lawyer should understand that.
I hope that this post is useful and its certainly offered in that spirit. I'm happy to post any further information if that would be helpful. Finally, a general point, my posting is just information and not legal advice, so please don't take it as advice!
Thanks
Simon