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Swearing. Any ideas?(10 Posts)
DS3 who has a dx of asd with pda traits is now swearing in school. He's yr2. We're continually pressing the point that he needs to hold back on the language but it does not appear to be working. Anyone with some experience/advice as I'm really worried school will run out of patience.
A little story for you
DS on way to bed this week.
Mum I cant say "oh god" at school.
No I say
DS. I cant say goddamit! either
No I say
DS I cant say "oh my god" either but I think that is because he isnt MINE but as he is invisible, and its not rocket science to work out I have never met him either and nor has anyone else in school it should be ok.
ME? trying not to burst into hysterical laughter puts serious face on and says no you still cant say that DS.
DS WELLL I was in a pickle today....I said bleddy. Teacher said that I couldnt say that. So I told her I was REALLY stuck now as its the politest word I have left!
Have no issues with the F word which is a hard one as it is in most songs at the moment! As he likes film and game rankings so I have a circle cut out with red rim and an 18 on it lol which I promptly produce! He is waiting for his 18th birthday may god (errr umm sorry) SOMEONE help me on that day LOL
It's great when they can make you laugh. Unfortunately this week, his playground peers have found his 'button' and are pressing it, then running and telling. I'm hoping it passes quickly - calls from school and parent playground politics are back!
Would he substitute?
Ie sugar for shit, for goodness sakes for fuck etc
You could also teach him to swear in another language. I know some shockers from the Far East!
gosh what a nightmare for you
We're working on convincing ds that swearing is offensive to other people. He genuinely doesn't comprehend why swearing is offensive as they are 'just words' and he can argue his point as well as any adult who takes him on! Which then winds up further any adult who takes him on.
Ironically he probably swears a lot less than the average teen of his age, but the average teen would know not to use swear words within range of most adults/young children etc. It's the inappropriateness of it which is the problem really.
Are school using PDA strategies with ds? Is anyone observing him at playtime to see what's actually happening.
Coff33pot- Your description of your conversation made me laugh...i thought only i had those sorts of conversations!
I hope Im not being dopey or missing the point but what if everyone ignores the swearing?
Ds swears like a trooper at school. When the staff asked me how i deal with it, i was really surprised.
When Ds was small, probably 3 he started to swear. I totally ignored it, everyone at home & the playgroup he attended at the time, just ignored it.
The problem was when he went to nursery & then school. Ds dosn't get why he shouldn't or should do most things. He does things that get reactions so he used to throw his chair at his teacher as it meant he got to leave class!
Ds is now 8. He rarely swears at home but still swears at school. I've dealt with it, it worked- its the schools issue of not dealing appropriately with Ds behaviour...
I think ignoring is the way forward and finding some substitutes. He's started to add 'beep' instead. Playtimes are hard as he's been smothered by his supervisor so he struggles for independence whenever she's around and he is reacting badly to her interventions at the moment. They haven't quite got the PDA thing and I think recent events have come about as we'd had a good patch. This has caught them out. A verbal rant at a member of staff was not one of his finest moments in the classroom but I feel that his swearing is possibly a form of release rather than violence.
I try to ignore my ds when he swears, but sometime is hard.
He unfortunately learnt some choice words off me when I was driving, someone pulled out in front of me so I beeped my horn and said 'silly old bitch'
Problem is that ds now shouts 'silly old bitch' every time he hears a car horn.......whoops!
Ignoring does work, bollocks was one if his favourites (I blame daddy for this one) but I did find that telling him it was wrong and then ignoring it or Ages he did eventually stop xx
Thanks. Ignoring seems to be working along with an incentive not to do it at school. He's been very pleased that he's not sworn at school however the HT isn't that impressed as ds3 gone back to removing himself from the classroom and not coming in from play.
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