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A quick what would you do??

(57 Posts)
claw2 Wed 24-Apr-13 13:29:50

Ds has a food phobia, very limited diet etc (and hates writing)

I just got him to write a 'shopping list' and got him to agree to come shopping and for him to do his own shop ie only the things on the list, but he pushes the trolley, put the things in etc (he hates shopping usually and its a big performance to get him to come and he wont touch the food i put in)

Now he is refusing to go, as he has to get dressed (something else he hates) but will go happily if i dont make him getted dressed and let him go in his pj's and flip flops.

Im obviously asking him to a lot of things he doesnt like all in one go. Would you let him go in pj's or make him getted dressed?

MareeyaDolores Fri 26-Apr-13 21:12:45

Sometimes one voice of reason is all it takes
Makes it harder for a forceful idiot to impose groupthink error

MareeyaDolores Fri 26-Apr-13 21:10:08

Yep, thought you did. Just trying to find a way of getting your DS onto a local NHS OT caseload (albeit short-term) so there's a sensible bod who knows something about neurology involved in these multi-agency meetings.

claw2 Fri 26-Apr-13 16:33:02

Mareey, i have OT assessments and reports coming out of ears, ds has a 'dx' of sensory processing/modulation disorder or its listed as a 'difficult' with his ASD dx. Its now just a question of getting them to provide therapy and follow the OT recommendations.

MareeyaDolores Fri 26-Apr-13 15:06:12

Maybe not the wrong thread claw grin

Sudden eureka moment (maybe) that could you use the clothes problem to get an occ therapy appointment? There's no way an OT would think you'd secretly gone into his head and artificially tweaked the sensory processing settings wink

claw2 Fri 26-Apr-13 09:03:13

Ooops wrong thread blush

claw2 Fri 26-Apr-13 08:33:14

The 'joint up' approach of professionals working together seems to involve giving everyone permission to talk behind my back.

CAMHS have been onside so far, BUT school and LA are using social services in a 'see we told you it was mum' way, social services agree with us.

I am also at the disadvantage that ds's therapist, who he hasnt since November anyhow, has now left and been replaced. so all they have to do is convince new therapist, who has never even meet ds or me.

claw2 Fri 26-Apr-13 08:26:06

Mareey thank you, we have a H&M nearby its certain worth a look, i will also check out places such as Primark too and see if i can find some cheap alternatives

MareeyaDolores Thu 25-Apr-13 20:30:56

H&M girls section have quite plain black 'treggings' (look like trousers but feel like leggings) for £10. Would he notice??

They might not be quite thin enough, but worth a look. Travel clothing is usually soft and light too.

PolterGoose Thu 25-Apr-13 14:41:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 Thu 25-Apr-13 14:33:32

They look ideal Polter, i will get one pair to start with to see if ds will wear them. But i will need several pairs, if he does like them, as he changes several times a day, some days, due to accidents. Its going to cost me a fortune!

PolterGoose Thu 25-Apr-13 14:10:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 Thu 25-Apr-13 13:59:20

Oooooh Polter they would be perfect and they have long sleeve tops too. I have bookmarked and will certainly will be giving these a try. Bit skint at the mo, have just been ordering dictaphones, pencils, grips and such like to help ds with handwriting! But next lot of money will be spent on these smile thank you.

GoblinGranny Thu 25-Apr-13 13:56:24

They look lovely, but their XL would be way too small for my DS. smile
Other thing is having clothing made for him, I'm fortunate to have a friend who is an excellent tailor.

PolterGoose Thu 25-Apr-13 13:44:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 Thu 25-Apr-13 13:23:27

Thanks Goblin, come to think of it, ds never seemed to have a problem with school type trousers. So chinos might be ideal, with an elasticated waisted, would be perfect.

GoblinGranny Thu 25-Apr-13 12:55:32

Mine liked these when he moved out of track suit bottoms

He can cope with light chinos too, but has yet to wear jeans.

claw2 Thu 25-Apr-13 12:30:33

Goblin, ds is a 'cold' boy too, bath has to be luke warm, food cannot be hot etc, its complicated by the fact that he wont wear short sleeves or shorts as he doesnt feel 'safe' uncovered.

He says when he wears tracksuit bottoms, they make him hot, when he gets hot, he feels sick, then feeling sick gives him a headache.

So ds was the boy in school refusing to take his school jumper off on a baking hot day, despite the fact that when he gets hot, he feels sick etc.

I need flimsy long stuff, tops dont seem to be a problem, you can get thin long sleeved tops (that are very similar to pj tops) its just the bottoms, i need to find and the only thing i have found so far is pj bottoms

GoblinGranny Thu 25-Apr-13 07:17:49

Mine has a broken thermostat too, he's the one striding to college in the snow with a T shirt on. Fortunately we've got a selection of clothes that he is very comfortable wearing, others he finds itchy or he can't bear the fabric.
When he was at school, they accommodated his needs, he didn't have to wear the jumper and they accepted the school fleece instead when necessary.

claw2 Wed 24-Apr-13 23:32:02

Excuse the typos, my glasses are broken and everything is a bit blurry!

claw2 Wed 24-Apr-13 23:29:52

Goblin, ds used to be a naked boy, but at the time it was quite appropriate to run around the house naked from the wasit down, as he was potty training, it did go on longer than expected, but then so did potty training!

Star, ive asked ds about why he doesnt like to wear clothes now he more verbal and able to express himself. It seems to be a temperture thing. He says he tracksuit bottoms are thicker and make him hot. He tends to get hot very quickly and red in the face.

Although he doesnt like shorts or short sleeved pj's, he wants his arms and legs covered, as this makes him feel 'safe'

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 24-Apr-13 23:18:34

And tbh, I can't tell what are children's pjs and what aren't in the shops anyway blush confused. I think probably looking back at the holiday photos that the matching summer t-shirt and shorts outfits were probably pjs.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 24-Apr-13 23:17:13

Wow Claw he did amazingly (and you).

He'll probably need a day off pressure tomorrow though he can eat his new food if he wants for sure.

DS and DD don't HAVE pjs. They have whatever is comfortable to wear in bed from their drawers, usually a t-shirt and shorts/longs that they haven't worn in the day so I think we escaped that difficulty. No idea how that all happened tbh. Perhaps it was orchestrated by ds in the past.

GoblinGranny Wed 24-Apr-13 23:05:58

We worked up to wearing pjs in the house.
Before that it was boxer shorts.
Before that....shock

claw2 Wed 24-Apr-13 22:55:44

Everyday would be a pj day if ds had his way! But again getting dressed and leaving the house, is something else he has been making progress with. 6 months ago, that was impossible.

So leaving the house happily, even half dressed to buy food and eating it, is a huge achievement and massive progress smile

He is very tearful tonight, not sure if that is the result of a stressful day or something else. BUT he did it today, no fuss!

Dinkysmummy Wed 24-Apr-13 21:41:48

Wow, that is a massive a achievement!

grin he did very well and I bet you are ecstatic!

(I actually have a tear in my eye as I can feel from what you write how much of an achievement it is for your son)


I really really hope this continues and his diet improves!

And well done you


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