My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

SN children

A quick what would you do??

56 replies

claw2 · 24/04/2013 13:29

Ds has a food phobia, very limited diet etc (and hates writing)

I just got him to write a 'shopping list' and got him to agree to come shopping and for him to do his own shop ie only the things on the list, but he pushes the trolley, put the things in etc (he hates shopping usually and its a big performance to get him to come and he wont touch the food i put in)

Now he is refusing to go, as he has to get dressed (something else he hates) but will go happily if i dont make him getted dressed and let him go in his pj's and flip flops.

Im obviously asking him to a lot of things he doesnt like all in one go. Would you let him go in pj's or make him getted dressed?

OP posts:
Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 13:30

Sorry i keep typing 'getted' today, instead of 'get'

OP posts:
Report
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 24/04/2013 13:32

I'd let him go in his jim jams. Some things are not worth fighting so choose your battles carefully. Wink Sounds like you have enough progress for one day.

Report
GoblinGranny · 24/04/2013 13:33

I'd make him get dressed, but in something easy like track suit bottoms and a t shirt. I'd compromise on the flipflops.
How old is he?

Report
GoblinGranny · 24/04/2013 13:34

Smile You have to decide, you'll get a different opinion with every poster!

Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 13:41

Track suit bottoms and t-shirts are all he wears anyhow. He is 9.

Obviously i can make him get dressed, it will involve lots of going stiff and prising arms and legs, trying to run away and hiding etc.

But it will set the tone for the whole shopping trip, he will refuse to get in the car, he will refuse to get out of the car, he will refuse to carry the list or get the items or push the trolley etc, etc.

What could be a happy, nice experience, will turn into a horrid one, for us both.

OP posts:
Report
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 24/04/2013 13:43

I really wouldn't. Have you thought of shopping online?? Smile Have the OT's come up with anything helpful?

Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dinkysmummy · 24/04/2013 13:56

If it were Dinky I'd let her go in her pjs

Progress is progress, but I would point out that others may look at him funny as pjs are not your normal supermarket clothes.

Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 13:58

Lady, the whole point of this was to get him near food, handling food, choosing food that he will eat. To help with his food phobia and restricted diet.

with the bonus of getting him to write too, something else he hates doing.

Another bonus would have been getting dressed too.

I wont actually be doing any shopping, only ds getting the items he has written on his list.

I cant usually take ds shopping with me when i do a food shop, he stays at home with his brother.

Ds has been under dieticians, feeding clinics, OT's, CAMHS feeding group previously for years, with very little progress.

OP posts:
Report
lougle · 24/04/2013 14:00

I would thank him and congratulate him for making a list. I would tell him that we won't go shopping today because he won't get dressed, but that it's a shame because you had planned to buy while you were there.

Progress is progress, but if you let him go to the shop in his PJs then you have another battle ahead. So, count the progress as writing about something he hates (food).

Report
GoblinGranny · 24/04/2013 14:01

In that case, the food is the priority, so I've changed my mind and I'd let him go in his pjs. Select food, eat food.
Outdoor clothes can be another day.

Report
LadyMaryQuiteContrary · 24/04/2013 14:02

Sad Oh, I see. Small steps, claw. I wouldn't get him to get changed as well, it may be a step too far IYKWIM. Best of luck. Smile Brew

Report
armani · 24/04/2013 14:06

I would let him go in his pjs. Sod what other people think! Good luck!

Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 14:11

Lougle, not going shopping would suit ds just fine, he would much rather stay home. There isnt anything material that i could possible buy for him, to motivate him.

I have used his wanting to 'control' everything to motivate him to want to go. He decides what goes on the list, he pushes the trolley, he holds the list, he puts the food in etc, etc.

Obviously ive come unstuck, as he also wants to control the getting dressed too Smile

OP posts:
Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 · 24/04/2013 14:18

Right, we seemed to have reached a compromise, he will wear a jumper over the top of his pj top and socks and trainers instead of flip flops.

I think that compromise is good enough for now. We are off to the shops Smile

OP posts:
Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrslaughan · 24/04/2013 17:17

I wouldn't - choose your battles to win the war.
The object of the exercise seems to get him engaged in the purchasing of his food/ shopping/ writing, save the getting out of pj's for next time

Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 18:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

claw2 · 24/04/2013 18:40

It went well, no fuss whatsoever Smile

Spinning in circles, spinning on the floor and running in the supermarket was greatly reduced due to him pushing the trolley and obviously not feeling as anxious as he would having to deal with 'my food' too in the trolley. We had the odd spin, here and there, when we stopped, but nothing like if i try to take him shopping with me on a normal shop.

His current diet is

breakfast: honey hoops (no milk)
lunch: toast
dinner: 3 yorkshire puddings

Snacks of crisps and apple

On his shopping list he put

crisps
green apples
bread
lettuce (new)
carrots (has eaten in the past, but not for a very long time)
yorkshire puddings
sausage rolls (has eaten in the past etc)
peanuts (has eaten in the past etc)
cabbage (new)

He had eaten his lunch of toast before we went shopping. When we got back he had two slices of french bread and butter and a bowl of raw cabbage (and ate it!!)

2 mini sausages rolls are now cooking in the oven to go with his yorkshire puds for dinner!!

OP posts:
Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 18:45

Oh and he picked up his own food, put in his trolley and crossed off his list.

He needed a bit of help with staying organised, he was flapping about holding the list, the pen, the trolley and having to pick up food, getting a bit confused as to how to do it and needed a bit of prompting. But other than that, he was fine Smile

OP posts:
Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

mrslaughan · 24/04/2013 19:15

amazing - well done you! and DS!

Report
claw2 · 24/04/2013 19:28

and he has just eaten one of the sausage rolls and the yorkshires!

A new food AND something he hasnt eaten in years!

OP posts:
Report
PolterGoose · 24/04/2013 19:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.