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Don't know if I need a rant or a moan or a honk but here goes.

(37 Posts)
NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 23-Apr-13 20:20:04

Dd 13 has developed joint pains and weakness after taking a drug for her acne. This has been going on since October last year and no medical reason for it has been identified. Last weekend she got considerably worse and can now barely mobilise at all even on her crutches. She has always been quite stoical about it but is now fed up and complaining of being in a lot of pain.
Paed reckons it may be psychosomatic because of the 'difficult home situation' ie Ds's disabilities. He has referred her to a psychologist - the waiting list is over a year.
Yesterday I phoned the paed again and he did phone back. He wants to admit her as an inpatient to do further tests, physio, get a second opinion and bypass the waiting list by getting her to see the ward mental health worker.
Now I am glad something is being done, but I feel quite upset about the thought of my little girl who has always been the ok one being in hospital. It is so sad to see her struggling and she is mostly very brave.
I think myself that it doesn't seem psychological but if it is I am doubtful about effective treatment being available. And if it isn't I am terrified about the possiblity of her having a long term disability even though I should be used to that and accepting.

I phoned the SENCO at school today to ask for some quite minor adjustments to be made for her and got a load of patronising stuff. SENCO: Have you told the paediatrican about her deterioration?
Me: Yes I have just told you that I have and what he planned to do about it.
SENCO: Bottom shuffling (which is what she is doing to get around the house at the moment) is bad for her psychologically.
Me (thinks): Maybe but is being stuck in one place any better? AArrggh.

All this on top of all this Ds is stressing about finishing course work and exams. I have been pretty unwell myself with whatever mystery illness I have and DH is being worse than no help at all.

Can I resign?

Sorry that was long.

Rant over (for now).

EllenJanesthickerknickers Tue 23-Apr-13 21:44:40

Oh no! You could do without this! I didn't realise your DD was having so much trouble. These unDXed things are so frustrating.

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 23-Apr-13 21:52:24

Oh you poor thing. How long will she be in hospital for? Does she want to go?

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 23-Apr-13 21:57:07

Five days max in hospital he said so no big deal in itself. She doesn't particularly want to go - who would - mainly because she doesn't want to miss school but is resigned because she does want a solution to her difficulties. She is just sooo sensible!

zzzzz Tue 23-Apr-13 22:12:55

Honk honk honk

How awful for all of you.

Funnel all frustration into hating the senco because she sounds like a tit. Next time she spouts about what is "psychologically bad for her" perhaps thank her for her insight and explain that you are consulting trained medical advisors so possibley her amateur efforts are unhelpful at best. Honestly you are so patient! angry

I think admitting her is a good plan. Hopefully they can get to the bottom of it and she can start getting better.

How tired you must be. HONK HONK HONK

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 23-Apr-13 22:25:53

Thanks zzzzz. Yes this SENCO is hot on her amateur psychology. I discovered that after Ds had been in the school a while and after that I avoid her and just used the head of the unit Ds was attached to. I even spoke to her about Dd although she wasn't strictly in her remit. However that lovely head was relocated at Easter so I have no choice now.

zzzzz Tue 23-Apr-13 22:36:33

"What can't be cured, must be endured"

Sounds like the senco is going to be challenging on that front. Perhaps the paediatrician would write a letter about appropriate/inappropriate support? Mine is very understanding about that sort of nonsense, and has a fine turn of phrase. grin. I think they enjoy squashing "educators".

Dinkysmummy Tue 23-Apr-13 22:55:59

I feel for you...

Your poor dd, she does sound very sensible.
Wow, it can't help when the senco thinks she has a medical qualification over an educational one!

I really hope you feel better soon x

coff33pot Tue 23-Apr-13 23:20:19

I think you possibly need a bit of all three! good grief what a time you are all having sad

The senco sounds.........full of wisdom hmm

I am not surprised you are feeling unwell with all this worry and stress atm.

Fingers crossed the hospital week goes smoothly and they are very thorough in their tests which bring forth results for your DD bless her x

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 24-Apr-13 00:32:10

Thanks Dinkys and coff.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.

AnotherAlias Wed 24-Apr-13 07:17:22


PolterGoose Wed 24-Apr-13 07:26:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moosemama Wed 24-Apr-13 10:05:35

NoHaudin, nothing to add really as brain is on a go slow and everyone has already said what I could think of, but sending a gentle hug and hoping the hospital stay manages to get to the bottom of what's going on and come up with a plan to help your dd.

justaboutalittlefrazzled Wed 24-Apr-13 10:10:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 24-Apr-13 15:32:52

Thanks AA, Polter and Moose.

I'll ask about that Justabout. She does have significant weakness in her legs as well though.

Polter how is your Ds doing this week?

ouryve Wed 24-Apr-13 16:01:25

Being in constant pain isn't good for her psychologically, either, or did the SENCO not get to that chapter?

PolterGoose Wed 24-Apr-13 16:04:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lougle Wed 24-Apr-13 16:20:03

I don't think you're moaning shock

I think admission would be a good route - they will be able to observe her, and the nurses will see her determination and grit - they'll tell the doctor that they can see she's really trying and that she's physically unable to do it - nurses see a lot wink

Keep going - you rock.

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 24-Apr-13 16:27:21

Oh thanks Lougle. Yes I'm glad it is being taken seriously.

Polter fingers crossed for the rest of the week then.

Dd came home from school exhausted. Literally collapsed on the floor in the hallway. She has now revived is laughing at Harry Potter (which she is reading for about the fourth time) and is determined to go to her drama class tonight because she wants to audition for a part in 'Annie'.

I had a pretty awful review meeting for Ds. They insisted that Dh came and pushed family therapy again. I try to make sure DH doesn't come to meetings for a reason.

EllenJanesthickerknickers Wed 24-Apr-13 17:24:29

Some 'D' Hs are less 'D' than others!

lougle Wed 24-Apr-13 20:10:33

Oh dear, NoHaudinMaWheest, that sounds tricky!

NoHaudinMaWheest Wed 24-Apr-13 21:32:07

Yes it is. Causes all sorts of added complications. I have agreed to meet the family therapist on my own and dh will do similarly.
I will then see what I think. I met her once in a meeting and was put off because she has what Ds calls a therapist's voice - all soft and breathy.

NoHaudinMaWheest Thu 25-Apr-13 10:54:23

Just had a phone call from school. Dd has fallen over and been unable to get up so they are sending her home. Dh has a day off today so has gone to get her. I am waiting for a call from the GP as I really don't know where to go from here.

zzzzz Thu 25-Apr-13 11:21:19

My gut feeling is A and E is appropriate, but GP will have a plan. Lets hope they stop faffing about and get the poor child some help. I'm deeply unimpressed with their lack on progress on dx.

PolterGoose Thu 25-Apr-13 11:32:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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