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Dp and I still can't agree between ss and resource provision draft statement has come and now we have to decide

(8 Posts)
autumnsmum Sat 20-Apr-13 09:52:34

Hello everyone I'm sorry to start another thread about the long running debate between myself and dp about where dd who is 3.6 and who has autism should go to school .we have recieved draft statement and the lea phoned dp not myself de spite the fact I have attended all visits and meetings and asked what schools we are interested in for dd . I want the local asd specific ss but dp said that school and a resource provision which I don't think is suitable . The resource priovision phoned dp on Friday and invited us for a visit . I have previously visited the school and on balance want ss but I think dp will want mainstream we both have parental responsibility so I don't know what will happen if we disagree because I am determined to stick by what I consider to be best for dd sorry for long post but I can't sleep with stress

LightAFire Sat 20-Apr-13 12:10:33

I'm sure you have already tried this, but can you both write down together the pros and cons of SS vs mainstream?

I have taught in primary for ten years, in excellent and supportive schools, but I'd still hesitate over sending a statemented child with autism to mainstream. I've heard so many horrible stories from friends with SEND children and also from MNers about how hard it can be for their children. My friend herself attended a ss for vision and she initially used to say she wished she hadn't as she found it not challenging, but now that her son has been in mainstream (and she is battling for the support he needs) she says she realises just how supportive it was and what a great secure start it gave her. Hopefully some other mums will be along soon and can offer their experiences too.

In terms of what will happen if you can't agree - I don't know where you stand there at all. I'd suggest calling CAB and asking them.

Wish you all the very best with it!

autumnsmum Sat 20-Apr-13 20:36:27

Thank you so much for the advice I will definitely do the list

Strongecoffeeismydrug Sat 20-Apr-13 21:22:47

I've tried mainstream with DS and he did great till he got a little older,we then sent him to an asd resource attached to a mainstream school for a year and that was a disaster.
He's now at an asd specific special school and he's doing amazing.. However he is at the lower end of the spectrum so he deffinatly fits where he is,but he is deffinatly stretched more with his learning than he was at the resource as the staff are more experienced with him and he doesn't get away with half as much lol

StarlightMcKenzie Sat 20-Apr-13 23:02:33

My advice would be that what ever disagreements you and your child's father have you need to present a united front to the LA. If you don't appear to agree this can be exploited if the LA is the type.

Have your arguments in private.

autumnsmum Wed 24-Apr-13 17:08:51

Hello everyone my dd has been offered a place at ss and resource provision we are arguing on stop about it dp visited resource but not ss

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 24-Apr-13 21:21:27

What are his arguments against?

MareeyaDolores Thu 25-Apr-13 01:24:23

Could you pick a 'proper mainstream' to aim for by (say) year 3

and ask the unit and the SS how they would propose to help your ds catch up to the level of managing there (perhaps with some support)

DP ought to know that SS often make dc become 'too good' for them, then transfer the dc out. Better than units, where dc often stay forever.

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