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Should i get DS medically assessed for autism/ aspergers?(7 Posts)
Have copied from the behaviour board
DS is 2.11, he my pfb so i've nothing to compare to, i've always felt there has always been something a little different about him, He's always seemed to be harder work/ more naughtly (if you can call it naughty at that age) than other kids. For example i remember going to first birthday parties a few years ago and coming away physically tied becuase DS had kept crawling off trying to rip telephone wires off the wall in the hall whilst the other kids would sit happily playing with the toys in the lounge.
As time has gone by i've found he has got easier as i can now give him more boundries so we're not chasing round after him so much. Eg. you can go as far as x but if you go past there you will have to come and sit on mummy or daddies knee. Whilst at home he will also now concentrate on the TV or his toys more so will watch/ play while i go and put out the washing for example.
Anyway the thoughts of autism/ aspergers had crossed my mind (i think it crosses alot of parents minds) and i had goggled the symptoms but i was at a point where i thought - no its just typical 2 year old behaviour i;m being silly cus its my PFB and i've no experience.
Then pre school leader had a few words with me one day and the things she was asking i picked up were signs of autism (becuase i had googled the symtoms) and so i got bit upset and think she felt bit awful as think she was trying to be subtle.
I suppose the key point here is that everyone has doubts about their child but you don't want someone else necessarily pointing them out (hope this doesn't come across wrong and you know what i mean!!)
That was a month ago or so and since then i've not really talked to anyone about it. I can't talk to DP or my mum (who looks after DS 3 days) as they would go mad that someone suggested there was something wrong with him so i wouldn't get a proper conversation. At this point in time i don't think there is anything wrong with DS but i dont won't to be a person in denial. Should i just leave things or should i try and get further assessement? I've not seen pre school leader since concerns were raised as i work the days DS attend pre school so don't usually drop him off. I suppose i should give her a call to discuss really.
Where should i go from here? Should i leave things to see how they pan out or should i try and get DS assessed in case something is wrong and he needs extra help for when he starts school.
What sort of things was the pre school picking up? They probably have very little knowledge of ASD, but I do think it's helpful of them to mention their concerns without trying to diagnose. I would say that if you have some doubts and pre school do too, it would be worth going to your GP with your list of concerns and ask for a referral to a developmental paed. Mention that his setting have concerns, too so they don't dismiss you as a neurotic mum. It can be a very long process, so better get on to a waiting list now, and cancel it if things improve, than wait for things to possibly get worse and then have to wait ages.
Nothing in your post suggests ASD to me - what is it that he is doing that makes you think that?
Exploring his environment sounds perfectly normal to me.
My dd was always a handful, right from the start. In fact, when I was pregnant, I was referred to the hospital by the community midwife as her heart rate was very high. The hospital midwife concluded that she was just a very hyperactive baby and will be a handful...... she meant it as a joke, but man was she right!
However I didn't believe there was anything wrong, just that she was very independent - liked things to be done 'her way' and that she was very spirited. Looking back, there were many red flags that we didn't see at the time. When pre-school staff suggested that she needed assessed, I was furious. How dare they suggest there was something wrong with my dd? I was very angry, and considered removing her from there. They explained that a social worker was in doing their inspection, and she was very concerned about dd's behaviour - and they wanted her HV to come in and see her there. I eventually agreed, and the HV couldn't see much of concern - pre-school said dd was having an unusually good day. I smugly decided that they were wrong all along
Fast forward few years, and she is now 8 and awaiting assessment for ASD. It took a long time for me to accept there is a problem, and it is only now that she is seriously struggling in school that I felt the need to persue a dx. The school have been saying since P1 that she is just immature, but when I finally approached the SENCO, it became clear that there is reason for concern.
I deeply regret not persuing this sooner. She detests school, maybe this wouldn't be the case had she got the support she needed from the start.
My thoughts are that there is no harm in commencing the diagnostic process - waiting lists are very long, and you can withdraw at any stage.
However, I only mean to do this if you really think there could be a problem. All children are different, and many will display some ASD traits, I think the deciding factor is how much it is affecting their ability to learn and their emotional and social development etc. My ds shows some traits, but they aren't affecting him enough at this stage to make me concerned x
Miss Duke I could have written your post word for word. My DD1 is now 6.5 and we are waiting for our assessment appt... it is tough isnt it
thanks for the replies, i've been out and about so havent had time to reply sooner. Like i said the thought had crossed my mind, at the minute my gut feeling is there is nothing wrong but i also don't want to be in denial if there is. Heres some of the things that preschool mentioned and abit more explanation from me.
1) He hums alot- he's always hummed since being tiny baby. It used to be monotone but now at home he doesn't really hum that much anymore unless he's very tired or just waking him. If he does hum at home it now tends to be tunes or he will sing instead.
2) He doesn't always respond to his name- we got his hearing checked and there is nothing wrong with it. At home he will sometimes respond to his name but sometimes he doesn't hear, i don't think he is ignoring as he also won't hear if i ask if he wants sweets or chocs for example. This tends to be when he is doing something else or watching TV, i think he just gets absorbed in what he's doing.
3) He doesn't play with the other children- i'm not sure on this one as he's only 2.11 but the preschool mentioned it. When i take him out he does interact with other children but is only starting to play games like chase.
4) He likes routine and doing certain things but its not so obsessive it is a major disruption of life. eg. he likes closing gates.
5) He is very good with numbers and can count in excess of 300. Both counting things and also just reciting the numbers. He also can tell you what numbers written down are. not sure how high but we were in a traffic jam next week and he looked at a house number and said that 152. We haven't spent alot of time teaching him this, we did the things everyone does like counting stairs etc and he just seemed to somehow pick things up with much effort.
6) I can't remember what they called it but the preschool said he doesn't answer a question properly, he will just say something unconnected. He sometimes will answer questions i ask him but other times will just not answer or say something else completely unconnected.
7) he's also good with letters and knows all the letter names upper and lowercase and the phonic names which i don't even know! He recognises a few words.
8) he had some imaginery friends for a while that used to freak me out when he talked about them (although i don't think i showed i was freaked out), at least i think they were imaginery! He's not mentioned them for a few weeks now though. He also used to say that his name wasn't A it was Michael sometimes and once he said to me that he had two mummys one called 'my name' and another called Ray.
9) he doesn't give eye contact at preschool. since this being mentioned i have took notice of whether he does give eye contact to me and he gives me really good eye contact.
10) whilst he's good with his letters and numbers anything practical he just won't make the effort- so things like taking off clothes etc he just says its too difficult.
He's does point at things.
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