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I've written to the school today whilst I was angry...

(35 Posts)
queencat Sat 13-Apr-13 22:16:40

Did I go too far? Please have a look and tell me! To give background because dd does not behave badly at school they are ignoring the diagnosis and the blatant fact that she cannot write and are not doing anything about it. She can't organise herself so we had massive issues today about her homework which she obv hasn't brought home with her. I was so exhausted after the meltdown I sent this.

Hi Headmaster

DD has been extremely worried about homework she says has been set for her over Easter. I have looked in her school bag and in her room and there is nothing in there.

I am becoming increasingly concerned about DD and her lack of ability to organise herself is one of the traits of ADHD and a Developmental Co-ordination disorder, I don’t feel that this is being taken into consideration by the school at all. The only items in her school bag are the books she has been carrying around since the beginning of the year that have not been changed just occasionally added too. I really need this to be taken seriously now, I understand that DD does not display the same behaviour at school as she does at home, but this does not distract from the fact that she is now almost eight years old and can barely write or spell. She has extremely low self esteem and tells me she is ‘useless’ all the time, when she gets a low scoring on her spelling test, she tells me she gets told off, I don’t actually see how this is helping the situation because it is making her feel continually worse.

I have done what I can from home with practicing writing, reading and drawing but if this is not being taken seriously at school what more can I do? I have paid over £2,000 to see a private consultant and when she sent in forms to be filled out by the teachers during last term and got the results back you could have been talking about two completely separate children.

I feel that I am hitting brick walls all over the place and am becoming increasingly concerned about DD's writing and spelling above everything else. I really need to know now what can be done to help my daughter before she sinks even lower. Her behaviour is exacerbated no doubt by the fact that she feels like a constant failure at school.

Can you please advise me what steps are going to be taken to help her writing and spelling? I know she does direct phonics but her reading is not the issue. I have taken all the steps I can as her parent to get her formally diagnosed so I can ensure that actually there is nothing that ‘I’ve’ done following the break up of my relationship to create the behaviours that I have seen with DD. I am 100% committed to helping my daughter and I really need to know that 'school' is too and she is not going to move into secondary education still unable to write or spell to the degree that she is now.

Badvoc Thu 18-Apr-13 07:19:42

Hi queencat.
Sorry to hear this.
But, sadly, not surprised.
Do re send the letter to the B of Gov.
BUT one thing I found ime was that's it's pretty pointless fighting a school wh deny any problem, are defensive when SA is mentioned and who actually try and blame the parent/s for any issues the child may be having.
You could help your daughter yourself and take school out of the equation completely.
I did. Made life much nicer smile
Check out the tinsley house support thread x

queencat Fri 19-Apr-13 09:16:35

Just met with the teacher and senco, one wobble where I almost cried but that was it. Said I wanted to know why the school was failing my daughter so badly, said I wanted a statement and was told it was too much work. So I said fine. Ill do it myself. Am about to go to another school and see what their admissions policy is. Am fucked off with being fucked around.

I'm not going to take this any more. Rah!

Handywoman Fri 19-Apr-13 09:35:05

Did they offer anything at all to help? Even small things? Shocking. Glad that you are taking action, good for you. Keep us posted.

queencat Fri 19-Apr-13 09:45:29

They offered an additional 10 minutes a day. I told them my 7 year old dd was threatening to kill herself as her self esteem is so low and that this is now critical, I said I thought it was disgusting that the head teacher had not so much as a knowledges my email. I'm so freaking angry.

queencat Fri 19-Apr-13 09:46:17

'Acknowledge it'

queencat Fri 19-Apr-13 12:09:49

Ok, I have just contacted another school locally.

I need to assess how it will affect my daughter's self esteem if I send her to a different school as she will have to make new friends again etc.

At what point do you act for the greater good and take her concerns out of the picture. If I take this route, I could royally fuck her up even more.

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 12:13:54

Your dc is desperately unhappy.
The move could be the best thing you could do.
Or it could backfire.
No one can tell you that.

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 12:14:29

(Moving school and doing TH helped my son immensely btw)

queencat Fri 19-Apr-13 14:42:06

What is tinsley house please, I googled it and its a clinic? What do I need to do? Am pretty desperate!

Badvoc Fri 19-Apr-13 14:55:40

Hello queencat.
Yes it's a clinic. But you can get Skype appts too if you are far away. (That's what we do)
I am sorry you feel so desperate, but as with most of the others on this thread I have been there sad
Have you read the tinsley house support thread? Do check it out.
There are 2 books you can get:
Is that my child?
The brain food plan
By robin pauc.
Alternatively you can phone robin and have a chat....I know that seems scary but it really isn't smile
Good luck x

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