Not answering the door previously - I was out! (Noone told me school holidays meant house arrest.) Home was a tip when they knocked as I'm having a massive clear out prior to putting home on market, and wasn't expecting visitors.
School have reported me for neglect & being bonkers. (The bonkers bit is probably being on their case to encourage them to do their job!). It was bloody obvious that they were scared I was gonna kick off from their manner iykwim today. I didn't help by being visibly shocked and upset - they also asked my relatives if I'd ever had MH issues.
I have zero medical history of being nuts, so want to get an assessment to prove that is still the case - preferably this week. (If I'd ever had pnd I'd be really terrified at this point tbh). The neglect part will also be damn hard to prove as the police woman was visibly shocked when I said that I meet with the school on a weekly basis to check his progress & that I go on any school trips with him. He's attended school, been to all his medical appointments etc, etc.
Thing is I've had to agree to send him to relatives until at least Monday (when school goes back), & I want this SORTED before he's left permanently damaged by the experience. At the minimum it's ruined our holiday. It's inhumane for a 9 year old kid on the spectrum to have police at the door to separate him from his Mum.
I'm trying NOT to give in to an all pervasive fear of losing my child to a care system that will utterly destroy him. If anyone has any advice at all I'd appreciate it so, so much. If it's going to be an ongoing thing to keep my parenting under observation is there any way I can get support for using ABA style techniques at home? how on earth does my relationship with the school recover from this? How do I talk to these people when they come round tomorrow to tell me their plan? My head is spinning.
'I'm trying NOT to give in to an all pervasive fear of losing my child to a care system that will utterly destroy him.'
This is hugely in your favour. Without being mean, he would be very difficult to place and crucially, expensive.
As per usual advice do lots of listening. Reduce YOUR talking to at least a quarter. You'll have to answer questions in order not to appear obstructive, but you don't have to give additional information (even if it is good/defense information). Like with all of these things, you can follow up with a letter after reflection.
You need to know what the concerns are. Keep asking. When they come round tell them that you are going to write them down so you can remember them. Take the names of the people who come. Write them down too. You can be seen to be doing this. It is not agressive but will ensure that they keep to the facts. Although you'll want them out of your home asap, don't feel panicked when writing. If they have to wait while you finish a sentence then they'll have to wait.