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Frustration with DS

(6 Posts)
RinkyDinkyDoo Tue 02-Apr-13 19:57:07

DS just turned 6, ASD with severe speech and language delay and attends an assessment unit.
Currently we're on half term(I'm a primary school teacher) so I took him swimming this morning and then decided to work on some of the targets on his IEP, mainly phonics as he knows the names of the letters.
Well he tried all his avoidance strategies; cuddling, running off, asking for food, toilet, other games to play, rubbing his eyes, falling off the chair, laying on the table, but after a while he started to listen and was enjoying the praise and I was giving him short breaks. Thought oh yes, he's doing well.
Gave him some 'me' time and then went back to what we doing before.
He appeared to have no idea what to do, so I started from the beginning again. This time though he seemed to be winding me up, eg Saying every one apart from the correct one, and pointing at all the wrong ones and looking at me with a little grin whilst doing so.
I got a little frustrated/cross with him and he started to get more right, then he started messing and when I threatened him with telling daddy about him being silly, he just completed the task correctly no problems.
I've just done a copying blocks game with him, he did the first 2 no problems, then when it came to the 3rd he looked at me,grinned and did a similar block pattern but made sure he put the last block in an incorrect place and said "There you go."
Why does he do it wrong on purpose? Is he doing it wrong or does he not actually know? Does he do this at school? How can he be assessed on what he knows if he messes around like this? Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! Little monkey.

I suspect he's getting them wrong on purpose, another avoidance tactic, or just his sense of humour. My DS would do this with the EP! Very frustrating. The EP soon picked up on it and had to disregard those sections.

You're discovering how much easier it can be to teach other people's DC. wink He just doesn't see your role as teacher, you are mummy and he knows exactly how to push your buttons. grin

I think you will have to restrict it to one short session per day. Try to show him in a visual timetable, (maybe if appropriate) how much he has to do, as in how many letters etc rather than in time in case of more time wasting, then have a fun activity for afterwards as a reward. Don't be tempted to do more than agreed even if he's doing well.

RinkyDinkyDoo Tue 02-Apr-13 20:38:27

You wise woman, yes, it is avoidance getting it wrong, so I'll get frustrated enough to give up. Little bugger!!
He does think it's funny, as he says "Mini Rinky is funny" and yes he scored 0% with EP last year, he checked with class teachers and they so oh no, he's much more capable than that.
I will pop open a bottle of ino, ponder your suggestions and will try different approaches tomorrow. Thank you. x

RinkyDinkyDoo Tue 02-Apr-13 20:43:45

Vino, not ino.

They are clever little buggers, aren't they? At least DS would look at me and laugh when getting it wrong, so it was clear it was on purpose. Or he'd do things in perfect reverse order. grin

No idea if my suggestions will work for your DS, but DS2 did like there to be a defined end to any activity. I used to put a set number of activities in trays with a 'finished' tray so he could 'see' how much was to be done and the last tray always had a reward activity in it. A bit TEACCH like, very structured, but it worked for him. Took longer to set up than it took for him to complete it, but you must be used to that as a teacher!

I'll join you in some wine

RinkyDinkyDoo Tue 02-Apr-13 21:07:03

I do say, nearly finished and this is the last one, which he responds well to. Think tomorrow will show him, "do this THEN ...........(insert something nice) as he also responds to .......THEN........
It's easier to plan a whole weeks literacy for my class, than short burst activities with ds smile
Chin chin wine

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