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HF ASD / PDA - what are your containment strategies when it's just one of those days?

(20 Posts)
Surrealistrhinoceros Fri 29-Mar-13 17:10:48

Hi all

DS is 6 and has an official diagnosis of attachment difficulties - however I find the way he presents to be so like children with HF ASD and particularly PDA that my best help has been reading the suggestions on these boards, rather than the attachment based work Camhs are pushing!

Anyway today has been one of THOSE days when DS has been hyperactive, difficult, rude, challenging ... and all the behavioural strategies that often work have been water off tr back of a very cross duck confused In my head I know he's worked up for some reason he probably can't explain even to himself, and what we really need to do is contain and calm the situation until he is in a place to respond to behavioural strategies again. But in the meantime I need to safeguard his sister, the walls, the floor, innocent bystanders and stop him jumping off the ironing board or eating his Lego ... If I try and engage him in fun activities he doesn't want to know because he's not in control.

So if you recognise this situation, what do you do?

Thank you!

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Fri 29-Mar-13 17:23:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Fri 29-Mar-13 17:23:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 29-Mar-13 18:25:20

A bike ride in the park is one of my strategies or a welly walk, Dd3 loves stomping through mud and water.

I love to be out in the fresh air and find it very calming for both of us.

zzzzz Fri 29-Mar-13 18:34:57

Eating, particularly things like raisins that take time to pick up. I sometimes just put pile of raisins (or whatever) and sugar tongs and a toothpick and a fork on a plate in front of him and leave him to it.

DVD helps, though we have given up TV for lent so not an option (ahhhhhhhhh!)

Baths help.

HotheadPaisan Fri 29-Mar-13 18:42:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Surrealistrhinoceros Fri 29-Mar-13 20:14:27

Thank you. All very helpful. Hoping for a better day tomorrow. Having similar issues at school but i guess I can't advise them to stick him in the bath smile

Surrealistrhinoceros Fri 29-Mar-13 20:16:13

Polter, interestingly I took little sis for. Her swimming class and despite DH having to work left DS with him - DH did indeed stick him in front of the dVD, with food, and I returned to a much happier young man!

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Fri 29-Mar-13 20:21:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MareeyaDolores Sat 30-Mar-13 01:04:57

camhs are mental health only, and 6 year olds (attachment difficulties or not) are never quite that straightforward...

If you can ever get a referral, you'll probably find that an occupational therapist can suggest some really useful physical stuff for the hyperactivity, and have ideas for equipment and strategies for getting him organised

TapselteerieO Sat 30-Mar-13 20:13:55

It can be so difficult, ds can sometimes be distracted by tickling, reverse psychology and comic timing- it can be so tricky getting it right - he has a really good sense of humour, so if something makes him laugh it can be a foot in the door to getting him out of anything negative.

I saw some recommendations for books on here, just got one of these What to do when... I have ordered two, they have things to work through and they look pretty good, I got mine on Amazon still waiting on one of them. Might be worth a look?

Dinkysmummy Sat 30-Mar-13 20:36:21

I let dinky do what she has got to do.
I'm lucky in the sense that she hides after she gets violent. I let her hide and let her come to me on those days.
DVDs can help. I ask her what she would like to watch (although sometimes she won't even pick a film as I have asked her to pick one! hmm ) if she is really into one DVD at the time I'll just put it on repeat as she likes watching them over and over again.

Surrealistrhinoceros Sat 30-Mar-13 20:51:04

Thank you everyone. DVDs seem to be a big feature. Can I ask, do you just let screen time limits go hang in such days? I'm so worried about sticking DS in front of a screen because I can't manage his behaviour, and thereby getting into a vicious circle. Or giving him the feeling that the way to get (much coveted) DVD time is to act up.

But maybe I'm being too hard on myself?

Surrealistrhinoceros Sat 30-Mar-13 20:52:19

DH has more of a DVD-heavy approach, and perhaps more the right one!

dinglebertflinglebert Sat 30-Mar-13 20:55:38

Swimming works for us. Doesn't matter how grumpy my son is, after a few goes at being thrown across the pool by me or his dad he cheers right up!

UnChartered Sat 30-Mar-13 20:55:46

we've had one of those days today

DD hasn't got dressed and has eaten finger food in front of TV all day

on the plus side, she's had a bath, washed and dried her hair <whispers> with the hairdryer shock and is in bed, asleep already!

OP, there is no way she would have sat in front of the TV if she didn't need the 'down' time

Dinkysmummy Sat 30-Mar-13 21:06:42

Dinky normally doesn't spend lots of time Infront of the tv. She is a whirlwind and doesn't stop! On 'those' days she tends to actually like sitting in front of the screen.
I ask myself what is better for her meltdowns or tv? I can't imagine a meltdown is nicer for her than it is for us to endure, so tv has to be the lesser of two evils.
Don't look at it as sticking him in front of a screen because you can't handle his behaviour, but what he needs at that time.

Surrealistrhinoceros Sat 30-Mar-13 22:01:09

Thank you, I shall take that on board. For those of you with sensory seeking kids I can also highly recommend persuading a fun fair to set up shop in the vicinity. An afternoon on the biggest scariest rides he was allowed on has given me several grey hairs but cheered him up enormously!

PolterGooseLaidAChocolateEgg Sun 31-Mar-13 09:22:36

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

UnChartered Sun 31-Mar-13 09:29:52

i've just had a bit of a thought (doesn't happen often)

how many of our DCs here can feel time? i mean in real time, DD hates waiting, she can read a clock face but has no concept of what 5 mins feels like in relation to an hour

so why would spending all day in front of a TV affect her, in the sense that's all she's doing?

i don't think it would

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