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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I think I may have been offered a caring carrot today...

(136 Posts)
hazeyjane Mon 25-Feb-13 19:20:50

...ds was being observed by a learning disability nurse today at nursery, in the hope that she can help come up with a plan wrt ds's separation anxiety when he starts preschool in April.

Ds was having a good day, he has now had 2 of these since starting 16 months ago, it has been a long hard slog to even get him to look at his keyworker, or play without having a hand on my leg at all times, or scream for most of the session, and I can't leave the room without him going into a complete meltdown.

After watching him for the session, and listening to his keyworker explain the severity of his separation anxiety, her suggestion was, 'have you tried telling ds that you are just popping out to the loo, and will be back in a minute?.....'

Obviously all our problems are solved now, phew.

bochead Thu 28-Feb-13 19:48:58

PIVATS (sorry got spelling wrong) actually looks like a massive investment of time and energy for the teacher.
To willingly take on this burden of paperwork is very admirable. In terms of actually WANTING to help DS generally this school deserves mucho kudos. I really do appreciate the effort, but am just not sure how it's going to improve the outcome iyswim.

It also really hurts to get the formal acknowledgement after spending the whole of KS1 being condescendingly told "he'll catch up" by every caring carrot in the system from the Ed Pysch to teachers to now see it being made official that actually no he won't. Unless of course you consider NC levels of 2ish by the end of Primary to be "caught up" in a child that everyone said for years had nothing wrong with him.

Bright to the general population means on course for medical school or Oxbridge, "bright" in SN terms means "presents as a having slightly higher intellectual capacity than a chicken".

The lavender oil is the standard caring carrot suggestion to hearing that DS has major sleep maintenance issues Moondog. Maybe it makes you "bright" enough to accept the caring carrots diabolically low expectations if you drink it? I dunno anymore.

BaggyKnickers Thu 28-Feb-13 19:49:57

No Polter, I am just surprised at a school spraying a child but maybe its a known strategy? Just never heard of it before.

moondog Thu 28-Feb-13 19:54:19

I've come to the conclusion that one is best off accepting from the outset that the best person to help your child is you yourself.

bochead Thu 28-Feb-13 20:18:15

moondog - yup gotta agree with you there. The buck stops at home.

moondog Thu 28-Feb-13 20:20:40

By chasing after help you end up stressing yourself out and wasting energy that could be better deployed elsewhere.
I haven't come across one person in the industry who could offer solid measurable help.
Not bloody one.

MareeyaDolores Thu 28-Feb-13 23:41:09

Ds now sees a very nice carrot for 30min/week, who listens to school woes.
My tally chart of morning meltdowns has demonstrated moderate effectiveness.

MerryCouthyMows Fri 01-Mar-13 01:27:27

Boch - apparently NC lvl 4 IS 'caught up' for DD. In Y10. Told to me by the caring carrot that is the HLTA that deals with her. Yes, because it's normal to be at a 10yo's lvl at 15, isn't it?!

"But she's made so much progress in her time here"

"Yes, but it's not going to get her a C in any of her GCSE's to get her into college like you told me her progress would in Y9 when we were deciding options, is it?!"

(Can you tell I've just had DD's half-year report tonight, with nothing higher than a D grade on there - and many E / F / G?! Even her catering is only an E, and that's what she wanted to go to college doing.)

<<Bangs head on brick wall>>

bochead Fri 01-Mar-13 10:12:50

To be fair I've come across a few people who were able to help - trouble is 99% of the time they are in the private sector and boy are there barriers to the two sectors working together! The finance is just one barrier.

I'm still in shock at the positive response DS's school had to an external EP going in a couple of years back(they implemented all her suggestions that didn't require outside expertise, eg all those it was in their power to do so). That however is very much the exception and NOT the norm, the common response is extreme defensiveness. DS's school suffered at Ofstead time, while others in the area that are horrible for SN kids got "outstanding" gradings.

DS's NHS SALT is A-fooking mazing, but she only sees him 3x a term and this year his TA is a bit dodgy, so her efforts are diluted to say the least. The state insists she spend all her time in meetings about meetings rather than DOING. Oh and she's surrounded by professionals from other disciplines who are carrots extraordinaire. How she stays sane I'll never know.

WilsonFrickett Fri 01-Mar-13 11:22:25

Oh YY to that boc. The reaction to my private ABA consultant at DS school couldn't have been bettered. So defensive! If I'd displayed those behaviours to anyone on a professional basis I would have been disciplined.

StarlightMcKenzie Fri 01-Mar-13 12:16:36

One of my favourites is when I mentioned that ds' had made NO progress in school to the Autism Advisory Teacher - Her response:

'Mrs Starlight, DS' autism isn't going to go away you know!'

No, but I'll bloody well make sure YOU do! That was the last time I saw her.

inappropriatelyemployed Fri 01-Mar-13 12:31:11

DS's school suffered at Ofstead time, while others in the area that are horrible for SN kids got "outstanding" gradings.

Beware the outstanding school - that is my experience too!

Caring carrot this morning: TA 'why don't you stay in class and watch the other children's presentations, that will be so nice for you'

DS hmm 'I don't care about the other children's presentations'

TA 'well I think it would be very nice for you to see them'

DS 'why? I don't care about their presentations'

TA 'well it would'

DS 'no it wouldn't'

Me 'if you watch their presentations and try and remember something about wch of them, we can go outside on the climbing frame for ten minutes after and chat about them'

DS 'ok'

While on climbing frame, we discuss the presentations and why people might want us to watch them.

Caring carrots deliver all they have got and think about what is nice for them to see happen with little SEN children - all lovely and included being forced to watch other people's presentations when they have NO motivation to do so.

I imagine this kind of conversation is repeated ad nauseum all day.

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