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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

I think I may have been offered a caring carrot today...

(136 Posts)
hazeyjane Mon 25-Feb-13 19:20:50

...ds was being observed by a learning disability nurse today at nursery, in the hope that she can help come up with a plan wrt ds's separation anxiety when he starts preschool in April.

Ds was having a good day, he has now had 2 of these since starting 16 months ago, it has been a long hard slog to even get him to look at his keyworker, or play without having a hand on my leg at all times, or scream for most of the session, and I can't leave the room without him going into a complete meltdown.

After watching him for the session, and listening to his keyworker explain the severity of his separation anxiety, her suggestion was, 'have you tried telling ds that you are just popping out to the loo, and will be back in a minute?.....'

Obviously all our problems are solved now, phew.

MerryCouthyMows Mon 25-Feb-13 19:21:49

grin. They can be so flipping condescending sometimes!!

BeeMom Mon 25-Feb-13 19:31:04

Yes, that is a stellar idea. Lie to your child and prove he cannot trust you.

And the next time you "pop out to the loo", he will be so terrified that you won't come back that you will not be able to peel him off for love or money.

I know where the nurse can put that carrot...

StarlightMcKenzie Mon 25-Feb-13 19:41:31


justaboutchilledout Mon 25-Feb-13 19:45:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TaggieCampbellBlack Mon 25-Feb-13 19:45:58

Did you ask to see her professional qualifications?

Blithing eejit.

TaggieCampbellBlack Mon 25-Feb-13 19:46:14

Her not you.

AttilaTheMeerkat Mon 25-Feb-13 19:50:22

Ah the caring carrot approach, this woman is honestly about as useful as a chocolate teapot and full of hot air.

I hope you told her where she could stick that suggestion i.e where the sun does not shine!.

Would suggest you start applying for a Statement of special needs from the LEA asap if this has not already been done.

Strongecoffeeismydrug Mon 25-Feb-13 19:55:19

DS doesn't eat at school and the dietitian went in to observe then she called a meeting for all staff and us parents,her recommendation was the staff have to tell him about how his body needs food for energy and he can't leave the table till he's eaten everything on his plate!!!
Seriously thought one of the staff was going to hyperventilate she was so blooming angry

hazeyjane Mon 25-Feb-13 20:23:47

Well, whilst I didn't tell her to shove her blooming carrot, when she started explaining to me about how some working mothers have to leave their children at nursery crying or not, I did throw my hands up in the air, and say, 'and here we go again!' ( it is what the sn nursery manager said to me at the beginning when I tried to explain, just how clingy ds is). She apologised for upsetting me, and I said, 'I'm not upset,I'm angry' blush

Atilla, we have applied for a statement, the meeting is on Wednesday afternoon. 12 people coming and reports all written. I am crapping myself!

Ineedmorepatience Mon 25-Feb-13 22:25:59

I just cant get my head around the stupid comments these so called professionals make.

I have heard a couple of pearlers at work recently, which I cant share but how I didnt say something I dont know as I am not normally known for keeping my thoughts to myself.

Smile and nod hazey, smile and nod!!

zzzzz Mon 25-Feb-13 22:33:46

Ooh hazey I like "I'm no upset, I'm angry". grin

I think we should start posting carrots. It's utterly ridiculous to have to receive this crap.

Handywoman Mon 25-Feb-13 22:47:41

We should deffo have an award.....Caring Carrot of the month? BeeMom you are brilliant!

justaboutchilledout Mon 25-Feb-13 23:05:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

inappropriatelyemployed Mon 25-Feb-13 23:11:58

Ooooh, perhaps you could do a social story about it - about anything - they cure EVERYTHING doncha know?

WilsonFrickett Mon 25-Feb-13 23:16:58

HAHA! A SALT actually asked me if I'd <headtilt> 'heard of social stories' last week. Thank god DP was there, I think he thinks I make this stuff up grin

hazeyjane Tue 26-Feb-13 13:14:56

I am fully prepared to be offered a platter of caring carrots tomorrow, with 12 professionals around a table, the chances of the odd carrot being flung around is highly likely. I feel sorely tempted to make a carrot cake to pass around.

I must remember to breathe deeply, and count to 10.

KeepOnKeepingOn1 Tue 26-Feb-13 13:21:30

Maybe you should take a plate of biscuit with you and offer them around each time you hear one of these little gems grin

hazeyjane Tue 26-Feb-13 13:23:42

I am just hugely grateful for the mumsnet sn geese, because without them I wouldn't be prepared for all this stuff, and I wouldn't have anyone to vent to afterwards, who 'gets it' as well as you all do.

Bluebirdonmyshoulder Tue 26-Feb-13 13:37:30

2 weeks after bluechick was diagnosed, when we were still reeling and wondering where the life we'd planned had gone, her new paediatrician told me it was really important to stop worrying about her future and start enjoying life. I was beyond angry

hazeyjane Tue 26-Feb-13 13:45:41

I find it really frustrating when hcp are so relentlessly positive, at a time when you are in turmoil about the road that you are starting out on, Bluebird. Yesterday we saw a chest specialist who is making a decision about a ct scan for ds's lungs, he said to me, 'his chest sounds really good today, we will give it a month and then do a chest xray and make a decision then.', when I was leaving I said it was a huge relief to hear him say his chest sounded good, and he said, 'I want to point out that when I say it sounds good, I mean it sounds good for ds. It is still pretty full of noise, and there is still something going on there.' I wish they would just be a bit more forthright about things.

grinnbareit Tue 26-Feb-13 14:14:44

sorry to hijack with nothing useful to say other than.........what is a caring carrot??? grin

StarlightMcKenzie Tue 26-Feb-13 14:17:19

hazeyjane Tue 26-Feb-13 14:25:31

ooh, starlight you have just reminded me of body shop carrot oil, which i used to slather over my eczema and acne riddled skin in my youth. Turned me and my pillowcase an oily shade of orange (think Dale Winton with a high polish) and did fuck all else.

This is Moosemama's explanation of the 'caring carrot' (I hope she doesn't mind me quoting her!)

'the caring carrot thing came about because someone, sorry I've forgotten who, had some spectacularly patronising advice from a member of staff at her dc's school, about 'fixing' his speech issues by making him some carrot sticks - including how to make them - in considerable detail.

Since then, anyone who offers patronising advice to any of us, suggesting things we couldn't possibly of thought of ourselves to do to support our dcs development (eg zzzz's sister telling her that all she needs to do is read to her dcs every day) earns the title 'Caring Carrot'.

It can often be applied to well-meaning, yet clueless professionals who seem to think that we could fix our dcs if only we were better parents.'

inappropriatelyemployed Tue 26-Feb-13 14:43:30

Example, on a visit to see a secondary school, head says when I explain DS needs to work, occasionally, outside the classroom, 'I think you'll find that it is better for children to be taught by teachers in the classroom'.

Well, that shook the foundations of my world. I will remember that to tell next time he is hiding outside class, too anxious to go in. It's bound to work.

Why didn't I think of that before?

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