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Advice on handling Teacher

(18 Posts)
Gorta Wed 20-Feb-13 18:23:11

My daughter was diagnosed with aspergers last month. She is 9. She has a communication journal since the start of the year. Her teacher just ticks and stamps any queries or suggestions that I make. She writes into it maybe once a month in reply to specific questions. I had a meeting with her yesterday and I explained about how our dd tells us nothing about what goes on in school and we are really in the dark. I asked could she or my dd special needs assistant write once a week to give us some information about how she is getting on. Today she wrote that she will only write when necessary.
I would really like to know how my dd day went. I would like it to be written in daily.
Do you use one? Why do you find it useful and should I push for it? Thanks

LimboLil Wed 20-Feb-13 18:37:41

I find it hugely useful. The TAs write down what my child has done, if anything has upset him, what he ate (personally I feel this goes a bit far), if there have been any behaviour issues, if he has been tired, what books he has read. It helps me so much. I can chat to him about behaviour, and reinforce his learning etc. Also funny little things (I write in it too every day) and they say, oh yes he does this at school or I might say yes that happened at home. I would definitely push for one, say something along the lines of it would help me so much etc. I am quite chilled, if there was a really busy day and they couldn't manage it for one day, then I wouldn't make a big deal about it but it's made a massive difference, I felt completely in the dark before and he isn't going to tell me.

PolterGoose Wed 20-Feb-13 18:39:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StarlightMcKenzie Wed 20-Feb-13 18:39:40

oh ffs. What does she consider 'necessary' then? Lazy cow!

Write in it yourself. Every day.

Ask the teacher for a timetable. Make a book with daily lessons marked out Against every lesson, request that one or two lines are written about something positive dd did and dd is to be involved in those comments.

As soon as she gets home, either read the sentence out with praise, or turn it around and ask it as a question for your dd to comment on.

Or, start a thread about interactive diaries, as Moondog has been involved in developing then and can supply evidence to support their use.

If the teacher is still resisting, meet with the senco about it.

Say all government docs, policies and general good practice shows that children do better when their parents are involved and support their education, but your dd's disability is preventing this from happening for her which puts her at a disadvantage.

Next stop the head.

If you are specifc about what you want, and provide a template, then the lazy cow doesn't have to think to hard or put much effort into it, nor wiggle out of it once agreed.

Gorta Wed 20-Feb-13 19:21:56


Thank you so much for the replies. It means a lot. I'm being told she is fine. She is making great progress. I was hoping that with this most recent diagnosis that more effort would be made to communicate with us.

I will do as ye suggest. The teacher has got my back up.

Dinkysmummy Wed 20-Feb-13 19:40:05

I had a problem with the teacher writing my dds contact book.
at first all I got was how many minutes she earned for morning and afternoon (her own behaviour system) then maybe two or three words.
I went to the senco and I asked if e teacher could put more in. Now she tries to be positive but writes in there things which I should be made aware of but wasnt previously. Like:

Non compliant morning, unable to focus but better afternoon when she joined in group reading

V. Wriggly today, unfocused, hid under the table for 30 mins had to get senco, asked for another child to play with her special time box and enjoyed it

It gives me an idea of her overall behaviour without going into specifics. I helps me a lot because it means I can gauge her mood at home time and be a little more sensitive if she has had a bad day.
Ask for positives to be mentioned because you don't want to feel your only being told negatives as it wouldn't give a picture of the day.

Good luck x

PolterGoose Wed 20-Feb-13 20:28:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sweetteamum Wed 20-Feb-13 20:49:08

I am going to tell the teacher/senco i'd like to start one of these up and say i'd like things to be updated daily. Although, not sure how it will be met as I asked for a weekly email to update me on issues and they pulled their face at that!

I agree that if your school can't find the time, then ask them how you andthe school are supposed to work together on any issues arising (i'll be using that line)

moondog Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:13

We do tonnes of different types of diaries for the children we work with.
Most are based on a language assessment and parent gets info on precisely what the level of the child is. We then include questions for parents to ask child and parent includes questions for teacher to ask child so they get practice at delivering information to different peole in different settings.

Fo younger children or those who can't 'transport' information, we tailor them to the child with sections the parent just needs to tick on how the child has sleptol, what mood he is in, what he ate/did, toiletting record and so on.
Section for home and school so we have a precise record every day of exactly what goes on. Incredibly useful data for other things as well-looking at mood and how it links to activities, how toilet training going and what are the patterns, what has been eaten and how it affects the child.

We knock them up in about half an hour and it costs nothing.
School staff love them, parents love them ,and kids proud to carry them. It isn't just some mashed up old exercise book at the bottom of the bag as happens in so many places.

moondog Wed 20-Feb-13 21:12:57

We also include stuff like how many PECS exchanges have happened that day, often picking a 'star' exchange. Also parents can put in pictures of things they did at home and/or brochures and flyers of places they visit.

Teachers also love it as they put in all the damned forms that need filling in and parents can't pretend they haven't seen them. grin (We have them in a ringbind folder so move them thorugh the file as the week progresses.

Time spent chasing after parentse to sign/return stuff has reduced dramtically so that makes staff very happy.

Gorta Thu 16-May-13 23:52:42


Just an update on this, I am encountering complete refusal by the school to write anything down. Stupid excuses it would set a precedent other parents would want the same. They have no time etc.psychologist has written to the school explaining the value but still no go. Do I give up?

DailyNameChanger Fri 17-May-13 00:16:44

Show them this thread?! Honestly, I love my son's communication book. His main TA is brilliant, she writes really relevant stuff in there about his mood and what he's been up to and we've both put funny things in there that have happened. I have 'issues' with the tactics of the powers that be in my son's school but the TA is lovely and her attitude has kept us going really and the book shows his development over time too.

Theycallmestacy Fri 17-May-13 08:07:05

I was the same before ds got his own TA, what have you done today? Was met with I don't know.

His TA is fab, she writes in a lot of detail about his day, if he has 121 I would see it as part of her role.

signandsmile Fri 17-May-13 18:53:45

we had minimal writing in a home school book, and then created a version of Moondogs interactive diary, and it has been fab, we have more information about what is happening each day, and we each write questions for the other setting to ask him, then record the answers, helps with his IEP speech targets, and has provoked some really interesting conversations with DS.

(PS thanks Moondog! grin)

MyAngelChuckles Fri 17-May-13 19:26:04

Ds TA has written in his communications book every day since she started working with him 3 years ago bar a couple of days she has forgotten or been off and I find it hugely helpful as she makes the effort to always include the positive aswell as the negative.
If we don't see each other for a couple of weeks we write in it about any new strategy's either one of us might be using so it can be co-ordinated at home and at school. Some days it will just be a simple 'DS has been a super star today and tried hard' others alot more but I am informed and if there is anything happening at home that might affect his behaviour then the school knows. His teacher also reads it and writes in when she has something she wants to add.
I don't know how I would do without it as getting information directly from DS is like pulling teeth and I don't like the idea of having to constantly nag his teacher about what kind of day he has had. It's also a nice private way of letting me know if he has had a hard day rather than constatly pulling me aside at the end of the school day at pick up.

CyrstalStar Fri 17-May-13 19:29:51

Moondog please can you tell me where to get one of these diaries or should I just do one myself thank you

Handywoman Fri 17-May-13 19:49:29

I would also like I know more, moondog. I have been offered a home/school communication book by SENCO. Much needed as dd2 will NOT discuss school at home. This was at the end if March. I reminded them last week and guess what? Still no sign!

I would like to know how to put a Moondog version together and provide to school, telling them they have had ample time to provide their own!

Gorta Fri 17-May-13 22:45:51

Back in February I send in a sheet just like moondog had suggested. Just a few questions for the special needs assistant to fill in. Nothing. Then a week later the vice principal had a chat with me on a public corridor and told me I was asking for too much and they weren't going to do. He went on to tell me I was making my dd anxious and I didn't need any of this information. My dd was fine. I must say I have been dealing with people in relation to my dd for the last 7 years and this was the forst time I encountered such ignorance.
I have given up on this year but she will have new teachers next year and I have already set the ground work. Her SLT is coming in for a team meeting early sept and then her ed psych will review her IEP with them. I also have a ds with autism in a language unit in the school so I have to stand my ground. It really helps to vent here thanks for replies

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