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DS2 :(

(46 Posts)
Jimjams Sun 18-Jan-04 16:57:06

DS1's SALT did a quick assessment on ds2 yesterday (it was his birthday he's now 2). Anyway she said he may be basing his speech sound system on ds1, but he does need to be referred into the system and he may well have verbal dyspraxia.

I really didn't think I'd mind. There is no sign of a language disorder- just a speech problem, but I actually mind quite a lot I have discovered. Not feeling sorry for myself, and I know I'll be fine next week- but it seems so bloody unfair that we get 2 with problems and other's get none. Hoping that people in SN will understand what I mean- and i know some are in the same position.

I said to the SALT "oh well it's only a speech problem" and she just looked at me and said "don;t yout think you have enough on your plate". She also pointed out that it's going to lead to frustration.

Anyway he starts nursery next week so we\re hoping he will realise that other children talk. FIngers crossed for us please

Festivefly Sun 18-Jan-04 17:02:48

Poor you jimjams, you have every right to feel sorry for yourself. It isn't fair at all. I know what you mean about having both children with problems, i would be very angry if both of my children had heart conditions. I hope everyhing is sorted out and it is not as bad as you think. Take care jimjams.

tamum Sun 18-Jan-04 17:12:46

Oh jimjams, I am so sorry. I know that he's communicating really well, and that's really important and good, but I really wish you didn't have this to deal with aswell. It does sound as though it might just need time given that he's only 2, but I'm not a SALT or a mother of a child with language problems, so I realise that doesn't carry much weight. I'll keep hoping for you, if I may.

Give him a birthday kiss from me, would you

pie Sun 18-Jan-04 17:15:42

Oh Jimjams...all fingers and everything crossed for nursery next week. Take care. pie xx

Jimjams Sun 18-Jan-04 17:38:43

Thanks. The good news is that doing speech therapy with him is a doddle, an absolute dream. He tries to copy, you don't have to fight for attention and then to keep attention, you can give him instructions and he understands. He enjoys it as well. Ds1's SALT is going to spend 10 mins with him every week.

hmb Sun 18-Jan-04 17:45:47

I hope that everything goes well in nursery next week. Ds was dx with a speech problem at 2.5 and the school put in some basic SALT. It was amazing how quickly it had an effect on both his speech and the behaviour problems that had developed because of the speech. I'm not underestimating what a kick in the gut this must be for you, and you have far more than your fair share to cope with. But at least there is early intervention and that can make all the difference.


dinosaur Sun 18-Jan-04 18:24:23

Jimjams, sorry to hear about DS2 but keeping everything crossed for him and you when he starts nursery. It does seem so unfair that you have this to deal with as well. Thinking of you,


Jimjams Sun 18-Jan-04 18:28:29

actually hmb you're early imtervention made me laugh out loud ds1 is still waiting. Luckily we have the private SALT and she's going to do 10/15 mins with him for free each week. I'll do the rest

nutcracker Sun 18-Jan-04 18:31:13

I sort of know what you mean. Our DD2 has asthma which seems to be getting worse as she gets older not better. Winters are a nightmare. When I had DS3 I really never expected him to have it too and despite the family history neither did his G.P. He is now 1 and has been hospitalised twice with breathing difficulties. The doctor won't yet diagnose him with asthma yet but i know he has it, it's like history repeating itself. When dd2 was diagnosed (after a long battle with G.P) I thought 'well asthma's not all that bad really'. Boy was I wrong.

nutcracker Sun 18-Jan-04 18:32:27

Sorry posted before i'd finished. Sorry it's upset you and I hope you feel better soon.

maryz Sun 18-Jan-04 18:36:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

popsycal Sun 18-Jan-04 18:49:35

Good luck Jimjams - hang on in there!

hmb Sun 18-Jan-04 19:08:48

Sorry, I know that you are stil waiting for ds1, and that is the pits What I meant was that early intervention with ds2 would make all the difference. Sorry if I was unintentionally insulting, I didn't mean that , honestly!

It was just that it made such a difference to ds.


Jimjams Sun 18-Jan-04 19:15:54

No, no not insulting at all hmb- just an indication of how crap services are down here. Actually since ds1 they have have started an ICAN nursery with a SALT on site- so things may be improving. Not sure I'd want ds2 there as they fill the place with autistic kids and I think he gets enough of that at home.

Jimjams Sun 18-Jan-04 19:17:46

maryz- you may well be right. ds2 is a dab hand at PECS

nutcracker- I've been wondering whether ds2 is asthmatic so I may pick your brains one day soon. (Basically he is always puffy and coughs on exertion).

hmb Sun 18-Jan-04 19:23:53

We only got what we did because the school is private and the SENCO is a trained SALT! Provision sucks round here too, but at least we still have specialist schools in Lincolnshire. Nottingham has IIRC closed them all.

WideWebWitch Sun 18-Jan-04 19:36:53

Sorry to hear this jimjams. It's OK to mind I think, you're bound to. Fingers crossed for nursery next week.

Caroline5 Sun 18-Jan-04 20:51:22

Sorry to hear this jimjams, I understand a little bit how you're feeling. Dd2 as you know has SN, but only a few months after this was confirmed, dd1 was being really hyperactive and wild at playgroup and the leader referred her to the SENCO and they were questioning ADHD. She had an IEP until she started school. This was really demoralising and seemed so unfair. She has picked up totally since going to school and now no one seems to have any concerns (frantically touching wood!)

Fingers crossed for you for success with the SALT and at nursery, best wishes to you and your ds's.

misdee Sun 18-Jan-04 21:22:49

i'm so sorry jimjams. its frustrating when things are 'wrong' with our kids. a few months ago i was so relieved that dd2 didnt seem to have any health worries. since nov we have been trying to get s possible heart problems sorted, and now people have started commenting on her walking. she does walk funny, she does fall over a lot, so now we have been referred back to the hospital again. it seems never ending. especially since we were told that hopefully dd1 ezcema will be gone in 2 years when she saw the consultant in nov.

coppertop Sun 18-Jan-04 22:07:16

So sorry to hear this, Jimjams. You really may find that the nursery is a big help. They seem to pick up so much from watching other children.

I can really sympathise with the waiting game too. My ds2 is nearly 1yr old now and I seem to be permanently watching him for signs that he may be like his brother - either with AS or asthma.
Of course it's okay to mind! No matter how much you mentally prepare yourself for any kind of diagnosis it's still painful to hear someone else say those dreaded words.

A belated "Happy Birthday" wish for ds2 too.

Demented Sun 18-Jan-04 22:46:05

Hugs Jimjams {{{}}}. Hope everything sorts itself out over the next few months between nursery and SALT.

mrsforgetful Sun 18-Jan-04 22:51:57

DS2 had probs with speech at 3 yr chq- he couldn't pronounce " sp,st,sh,sk,sl...etc" infact alot of words with a consanant after the 's' - but could say 'shhhhhh'! Infact he often started the words with a 'sh' instead.
'sky' was shy, 'spoon' was soon, scoop (bob the builder) was shoop etc...
He was put on the SALT waiting list but by starting school at age 4 yrs 10 months he was fine....his speech now is perfect....bordering on precise....and as you know i have ds1 with AS and deep down KNOW ds2 has it too- but KNOW exactly how you feel about having two with SEN- i calculated the other day that in any hour in the day- DS1 demands 20 mins and ds2 40 mins .... which leaves none for me or ds3! (ofcourse most of the 'ds2' time is dealing with the effect ds3 has on maybe ds3 has found a crafty way of getting some time for himself)!
But seriously- to 'just' be able to wander round DIY shops on a sunday (we tried today but ds2 kept lying down on the floor of shops infront of people) would be great- we manage usually by taking turns to go out...but we're trying to decorate the kitchen and need to find tiles we BOTH like- and it's never a case of ' just getting someone to have the boys' as people are well aware how 'active' my 3 are.

Hugs are all i can offer JIMJAMS and sorry if i haven't inspired you- just wanted you to not feel guilty about the 'having 2 SEN'.xx

Davros Sun 18-Jan-04 23:42:03

Jimjams, I'm so sorry this has made you feel shit, especially as you kind of thought it wouldn't. Its so hard to predict and then catches you out. I know you're up to the challange but that's hardly any comfort. You know how lucky they both are to have you

jmb1964 Sun 18-Jan-04 23:57:42

Jimjams - just seem this - more big hugs and lots of virtual finger-crossing and moral support from me as well as all the others. Our dd2 was a late talker - said virtually nothing until she was two and a half and was about to get referred etc, but within weeks of starting playgroup she was chattering away with the rest of them. It's not as if she was short of talk at home, with two noisy older siblings, but I think it had something to do with going out there as her own little person. It was probably just a coincidence though!
You and your Salt will be giving ds2 a huge boost, so I hope you see some sort of improvement soon. Must be a bit gut-wrenching seeing such different responses to what you're doing though.
As I've said before your ds's have struck lucky with a resourceful committed Mum like you, and we all know that you'll get on with it, but you mustn't feel bad about it upsetting you..

Bla, bla - I'll stop now - hope things look better in the morning oo

tigermoth Mon 19-Jan-04 09:44:54

I think anyone would feel life's unfair hearing that news, jimjams. I really hope ds's speech problem resolves itself at nursery. He is still so young, and IME lots of children still don't talk much at that age.

The changes I've seen in children when they first join nursery compared to when they leave is amazing. 4 terms of pre-school and so much developes. IME, looking at my sons and their classmates, nursery really brings children on. Fingers and toes crossed for you.

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