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Inspired by lougle's decisive action...

(46 Posts)
PolterGoose Wed 30-Jan-13 14:25:24

Ds has always loved school, it didn't matter how bad things were, every day he wanted to go. Since Xmas there has been a creeping unhappiness which this past week has led to lots of anxiety, meltdowns and sleep stuff, which has made me very worried he will, if we don't reduce the anxiety, refuse to go to school.

Today I have written 3 important letters:

To the OT team who never return calls, promised a lot and haven't delivered, requesting a fresh assessment of his needs and for them to deliver the interventions they said they would.

To the SENCO 3 pages of how school are not meeting ds's needs and demanding a meeting to discuss what she plans to offer before we meet for the IEP review.

To the LEA requesting statutory assessment.

It has taken all day and I am going to post them before I change my mind grin

PolterGoose Thu 31-Jan-13 17:20:32

Don't be silly zzzzz, am looking forward to another catch up soon. It just helps so much to come on this board. And you've got lots of your own stuff to deal with. Poor dd3, how is she?

zzzzz Thu 31-Jan-13 17:30:59

Stroppy. Challenging.

PolterGoose Thu 31-Jan-13 17:40:25

Is that a good or a bad thing?

I have barely any knowledge of epilepsy blush

zzzzz Thu 31-Jan-13 17:48:39

I just don't know polt

PolterGoose Thu 31-Jan-13 18:09:47


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NoHaudinMaWheest Fri 01-Feb-13 12:22:55

Hope the meeting goes well. Polter

zzzzz How is Dd today.

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 12:37:46

Thanks NoHaudin

Hoping zzzzz and dd are okay thanks

zzzzz Fri 01-Feb-13 15:23:56

All quiet here smile.

I feel exhausted.

Ilisten2theradio Fri 01-Feb-13 18:08:46

I know schools can be "unhelpful" - but after your comment on the Friday Fred, I wondered if you had spoken to them about letting your DS come in from breaks 5 mins early?
This worked really well for my DS. He could get out any issues about playtime ( there were often loads!) and was in a better frame of mind to start the next lesson.
They really need to learn about transitions don't they?

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 18:30:25

Ilisten all the way back in reception the ed psych (pre-dx) advised that ds would benefit from spending time inside and advised half in and half out. It was never followed through consistently. In Y3, following an incident when ds was unsupervised another child hit him, ds retaliated, other boy had to have stitches, then they let him stay in at lunch play for 6 months, he loved it, he chose a different friend every day and they would eat their lunch together in the atrium and then do drawings or stories, the other children were very willing volunteers and it was very positive.

Then into Y4, finally got 15 hours LSA to cover from the start of morning play to the end of lunch play. She is very skilled and suitable but I just don't think the old HT gave her any freedom to use her skills, so she has ended up just supervising, no pro-active stuff at all. As she is paid to work 1-1 with ds I think she should be doing small group stuff inside and out at playtimes.

It is interesting how insightful ds is really, considering he is totally incapable of expressing his emotional needs, he has commented that he doesn't mind going out for the last 5 minutes "because I know that it is good to get some fresh air and to stretch my legs" so he isn't completely unwilling. And it is definitely more of a winter and bad weather problem, the school has vast grounds with a wildlife area and hedges and a maze so he is quite happy to just go bug hunting when they're allowed on the greenery. He just wants his own space really not the manic anarchy of te playground.

Sorry that went on a bit, it's like floodgates blush

OneInEight Fri 01-Feb-13 18:43:32

ds2 was discovered today reading in the boys toilets instead of going in the playground as he only wants to be by himself too. Apparently, it is the fourth time he has done it this term without being caught.

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 18:51:57

OneInEight if the toilet design at ds's school were different I would suggest that to him grin

zzzzz Fri 01-Feb-13 20:15:22

Why aren't the children allowed to read a book during break? hmm

PolterGoose Fri 01-Feb-13 20:41:26

I suspect because it would mean the teachers and TAs would miss out on a break? It infuriates me. Ds used to love it when he used to get sent to spend playtimes sitting outside staffroom as a pointless punishment and I am sure that if he was NT he'd have worked out how to get what he wants. He has mentioned something along those lines before but he just doesn't have the ability to deliberately manipulate the rules.

zzzzz Sat 02-Feb-13 01:14:35

Presumabley in the summer he can sit on the grass and read/poke the grass, so the problem is really the cold. I can't imagine why school wouldn't encourage this, staff rooms are full of teachers scoffing choc and reading magazines for a little down time.

Ilisten2theradio Sat 02-Feb-13 14:19:16

Ok, so after lots of me arguing discussions with promary school and lots of trial and error, what finally worked with DS in case it gives you some ideas was

TA or teacher out to supervise and help one or two breaks,
A lunchtime in the computer room ( all year groups were allowed a day a week, and they made sure DS could always be included in theirs) a lunchtime of social skills group - samll no of children eat lunch and talked/played games led by his TA
Another day where children needing some additional help plus some others chosen by them played co-operative team games of choice ( often basketball, cricket, games made up by the games teachers)

The school finally changed the rules so that the juniors were allowed to take books out at breaktimes.

Another lunch with one of the PE teachers who had lunch with DS then got a group of children together to play games - soemtimes playground ones, sometimes board games indoors.

They also did the transition thing 5 mins before the end of play he was allowed in to talk to the TA about anything he needed to get out of his system ready for the next lesson.

PolterGoose Sat 02-Feb-13 14:38:34

Ilisten That is exactly the type of thing I'm asking for, a basic timetable with a range of varied activities to support ds plus time for him to discuss his worries and consolidate his learning thoughout the school day, with some time set aside to do some sensory activities as advised by the OT. It doesn't seem much to ask for when they've already got the funding in place and he has (in theory) 1-1 at playtimes anyway.

I'm glad you posted, thanks, I want to be able to give examples of good practise and there aren't many

zzzzz Sat 02-Feb-13 14:40:40

He has 1.1 at play times anyway!!! polt this is totally outrageous if that's the case. The lazy so and so's. angry

Ilisten2theradio Sat 02-Feb-13 14:45:44

Yes and it was according to a timetable so that he always knew which thing he would be doing on which day. I also forgot to add that one break was him learning touch typing as his handwriting is appalling so that they could sometimes let him do extended pieces of literacy on the computer.

PolterGoose Sat 02-Feb-13 15:20:41

Honestly, zzzzz, this is what makes it so infuriating. They have the resource. It should be easy. I think I've said to you before, ds's needs are well within the remit of School Action Plus and he really shouldn't need a statement but because funding isn't specific they can do whatever they want once they have it confused it is a shit system where schools get extra money on the grounds of need but then can spend it how they like and on what they like, it is very dishonest angry

I honestly think, because he is very bright and does so well academically, that he just isn't a priority for the school, he is no longer hurting other children, he isn't disruptive, he gets on with the work in lessons... They don't see the state he is in when he gets home because he can just about hold it all together from 9-3 sad

zzzzz Sat 02-Feb-13 16:25:31

Well it will make you totally exhausted, but if they really won't help, could he come home for lunch?

I really don't see why he can't sit and read a book somewhere. Surely the price of a few bean bags and a pile of books is easier than a stressed sad little boy all afternoon. Why do they all need to relax in the same way? Why?

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