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ever decreasing circles...

(109 Posts)
imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 10:09:39

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imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 21:45:37

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imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 21:54:50

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MareeyaDolores Tue 29-Jan-13 22:17:08

Yep, but ed psych will probably wash hands of DS once it's clear you and school are getting on with it without spending money. CMHT worker gone already. GP mainly interested in sore throats wink.
Complaining to an insider-infiltrated body where the files are against you is futile and very risky.

Moving to a forever home with a good school and neurodevelopmental paediatrician is one option. Keep quiet and waiting till hes old enough for the presence or abscence if various issues to be obvious, or for the evidence to accumulate. Then going to the dr for 2nd opinion in Scotland that needs to precede complaints.

imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 22:26:05

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imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 22:29:34

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bochead Tue 29-Jan-13 22:33:36

There is nothing stopping you from requesting all and any files.

A word of warning though, my last crap GP "lost" the first four years of my son's medical notes and despite my best efforts I haven't been able to get hold of them.

It's interesting to see what the records hold.

imogengladhart Tue 29-Jan-13 22:43:19

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justaboutchilledout Wed 30-Jan-13 00:42:19

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 08:22:30

Lots of research needed.
Lots of planning for the next move Imogen.
This school is buying you time, as we said last year, but that's all it's doing.
But that's ok.
That's all you need it for ATM.

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 09:52:32

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 10:04:55

Is home ed still a no go Imogen?
Sorry, not sure about the Scottish rules...
Wrt to the meeting, you won't know what they want until you go I guess.
Generally, schools get very defensive when parents point out that they are shit and not doing their job.
It's like trying to push water uphill tbh and that's why I stopped.
I am trying to view this dispassionately and at the same time give the advice that I would give a friend.
And - without hesitation - my view has not changed from last year.
Moving is stressful, there's no doubt about that.
But it's also sometimes necessary.
You and I both know people in the MNSN board who have moved - and I include myself in that - to make sure their kids get a decent education and sen provision.
I am not going to pretend its easy, it isn't, but life is so much better now.
I wish I had the words to explain just how much better it is, in every way. Ds has friends, is part if the community and is happy.
The school does its best, and I pick up the slack wrt sen provision.
You can do it Imogen.
You can.
2 years ago things seemed so bleak for us, so I can see how it seems impossible for you to view any change as positive.
But change - just because its scary - does not = bad.

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 10:16:48

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 10:23:08

So there is a 3rd option!
That alters a good way.
Can you make an appt to view this cottage and the HT and just have a chat...
Make it clear you regret not going to the school last year and that you really think its the right place for you son, how much you like them and the school...really lay it on with a trowel!
Play the poor mum Card if you have to..."I have tried so hard to help my son but I have realised that I can't and need to put my trust in someone"
It will stick in your throat, but tell them what they want to hear to get what YOU want for your ds.

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 10:26:32

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 10:30:03

Why do you need permission for him to go to country school?
Can't you just apply and move him?
Or do you need to being it up at the meeting?

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 11:20:34

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imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 11:24:38

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 11:34:35

That's a chance you take with any school tbh...teachers and HTs leave.
If I were in your position I think I would just say you are moving house - for other reasons - and then apply for the country school as obv he will need to be schooled locally.
Make it about a house move for family reasons - your H could back you up on this? (which parents do all the time as you say...) and not about your ds.
One child in my sons class moved last year.
In 6 months he was back.
His parents did not like where they had moved happens!

MareeyaDolores Wed 30-Jan-13 11:51:46

What do the meeting people need to hear?
And is there a way you can give some of it to them, so they feel reassured?

I presume they want you to admit being mega-anxious, to stop thinking that ds has anything serious like an ASD, to accept that his education is fine and you should leave it to the school, and to defer to their professional status.

Now clearly that's not a list of requirements you can sign up to, as you think the polar opposite. But giving a bit of ground might (not guaranteed) help them to concede a bit. An advocate, mediation or independent chair would soon knock everyone's heads together and bring you all to someplace in the middle. Or else fail abjectly, and then you'd know to simply give up and move to Australia or the moon

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 11:52:51

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imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 11:58:36

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Badvoc Wed 30-Jan-13 12:09:38

Yes, they are the choices.
I think you need to discount the private school completely..they showed their true colours by withdrawing his place with 3 days to go...sad
Thing is...if his sen needs are being met - at whichever achool - that will do sooooo much for his anxiety! I know it has for my son.

TheLightPassenger Wed 30-Jan-13 15:47:31

english or scottish country schools sound much better than pursuing a discrimination case to get him into a private school you would need a whacking bursary for. 1.5 years in English school at least means if you aren't 100% happy then at least a change will be v straightforward, no questions asked etc.

AuntStressie Wed 30-Jan-13 18:23:05

Agree that private school would be no good. From your previous threads it seemed to me that they didn't really want to accommodate him and placing him there following a solicitor's letter would be risky in the extreme.
Fwiw I would probably opt for the English school as it would be a totally fresh start all round and easier to change if necessary. Some Scottish schools seem to take umbrage at the slightest thing

imogengladhart Wed 30-Jan-13 18:56:16

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