I have a 9 year old nephew who has always been slightly "different". He is an extremely bright boy and apparently on the gifted and talented register at school but has always seemed slightly awkward in social circumstances and is often the one on the perimeter when we get together as a family and all the cousins play.
It is becoming increasingly apparent as he gets older that there may be issues, wanting to go home early from days out, school refusal, separation anxiety etc, and often completely over the top reactions when things don't go as he wants, often over seemingly ridiculous things.
At a recent gathering he moaned, whined and got completely over wrought for nearly two hours over the fact that the pizza house had no pineapple to put on his pizza! My poor SIL who spent the whole night trying to cajole and pacify him was overheard to say "do you need to go into the toilets with dad to focus?"
To parents of children with ASD/Aspergers does that phrase mean anything to you? It's quite an awkward situation as almost every occasion now results in some incident with him leaving us all silent and almost embarrassed, but don't want to ask SIL if there are problems because surely they'd have explained to us if that was the case?
Grateful for any suggestions and advice.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
Does this phrase mean anything to you?
CPtart · 23/01/2013 14:09
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I dunno. My gut feeling is the same as coff, I'm confused, why not just ask SIL?
Yes, there's a role for
-allowing privacy
-respecting people's right to be in denial
-accepting that parental responsibility includes the 'right' to do it your own way
-reinterpreting public "tantrums" as an adult unreasonable-expectations issue
But you're the little lad's auntie, and yes, it does look to me like there's probably some sort of issue. Though not necessarily one with a "name" 
. It also looks like you're one of the few people who isn't going to say this difficulty is all due to "naughtiness" or a "parenting problem". Plus, based on my own family and in-laws 
, multi-generation 'quirky' families can make for slightly difficult communication about this type of thing, so your SIL might welcome (tactful) straight talking .
Sorry but in your main post you say
It's quite an awkward situation as almost every occasion now results in some incident with him leaving us all silent and almost embarrassed, but don't want to ask SIL if there are problems because surely they'd have explained to us if that was the case?
Then in your next you state that they are a family that doesnt talk openly 
I dont mean to be awkward but its a little bit contradictory as if they are a reserved family then she wouldnt have disclosed anything would she.
And it does say that it is HIM that is leaving you all silent and almost embarrassed.
I would still approach her by the way of help as in breaking the ice before the silence comes. Laughing it off and carrying on with conversation as if nothing had happened. Build a trusting relationship with your SIL so that in turn she may just confide in you if she needs support.
Maybe choose different forms of meet up rather than big family dos something you know he would enjoy that relaxes him. A lot of kids SN or NT hate crowds, chaos and busy places.
But others are right you dont need to KNOW anything to be supportive. :)
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