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Do you think this collection of DD's characteristics might be significant?

(22 Posts)
Toomanyworriedsonhere Sat 19-Jan-13 20:36:00

Thanks Ineedmorepatience (me too!) I think I generally play things down and, as you say, my mind goes blank when I talk to the professionals. Writing things down is definitely necessary.

I've also realised today that DD really doesn't have any friends and never has had proper relationships. I feel so sad for her. I've masked it because we're a pretty sociable family so there are always kids about.

Ineedmorepatience Sat 19-Jan-13 20:08:30

Sorry, not suggesting that your Dd has aspergers, just that the proffs took more notice when i had examples of how her difficulties were affecting her.

Good lucksmile

Ineedmorepatience Sat 19-Jan-13 19:42:24

I would recommend getting some of your thoughts on paper.

I bought a copy of Tony Attwoods complete guide to aspergers and a pack of post it notes. Where I saw things in the book that were like Dd3, I wrote a real life example on a postit and stuck it on the page it refers to.
And or keep a diary of her issues and how they affect her on a day to day basis.

Then when you get asked questions your mind wont go blank.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Sat 19-Jan-13 17:12:17

Been out today - thanks for the replies.
I am so relieved that I don't seem to be making a fuss over nothing - there is probably something going on isn't there? The poor little mite has had such a terrible time in the last few years and the pros are backing off fast. Nobody apart from me has the overall picture and it all suddenly came together last night.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 19-Jan-13 10:14:13

Re the school I would be speaking to both the SENCO and her pastoral support person for Y7. I would also look at IPSEAs website and consider applying for a statement.

Ineedmorepatience Sat 19-Jan-13 09:20:40

A speech and language therapist.

The not being able to talk about her feelings would fit a profile of aspergers or ASD.

As would the anxiety.

If your psychiatrist is good why dont you ask her if she can assess. Dd3 was assessed using a DISCO assessment. It is a long questionnaire the proffs have to be trained to use it but it helps with diagnosing complex cases.

Good lucksmile

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 22:24:40

I do know both a community paed and an occupational therapist, who would be happy to help - I will talk to them, too.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 22:23:46

What is a SALT - I am deeply ignorant!

DisAstrophe Fri 18-Jan-13 22:22:22

You do need a referral to a community or developmental paediatrician. While you are waiting if you have some money you could get her seen by a SALT with ASD experience and/or an Occupational therapist?

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 22:19:28

DisAstrophe - thank you - she does have many of those symptoms, too.
It's so complicated - I guess that's what the professionals are for, but I'm not sure much would happen without me prodding them.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 22:16:17

GP is fab, actually - I might go down that route.
We have lots of contact with mental health services because of DH and I have a good relationship with the CAMHS psychiatrist too - she really wants to help.

I do feel an absolute idiot - my niece has aspergers and it somehow had never crossed my mind for DD even though I've laughed with DSis about both our DDs not making it to school and I now feel I've just been closing my ears to a huge claxon.

DisAstrophe Fri 18-Jan-13 22:12:57

Have you looked at dyspraxia? There is a good checklist here:

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 18-Jan-13 22:12:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 22:08:08

Thank you so much - I've had a terrible week with the latest counsellor from CAMHS seeming really quite cross that DD was unable to talk about her feelings and telling me that I shouldn't let her sleep in my room when it is the only way she'll get to sleep at a sensible time.

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 18-Jan-13 22:04:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience Fri 18-Jan-13 22:01:43

My Dd3 was diagnosed by a psychiatrist after lots of evidence gathering.
If she had a speech delay, when was her speech and language last assessed?

Dd3 had a number of unusual features to her language which were a red flag for ASD so it might be worth getting a SALT referral too.

Good luck.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 21:54:47

Thanks for advice and thanks for answering.
I will ask for assessment, but who does it? Would it be the psychiatrist's job to do it?

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 18-Jan-13 21:52:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 21:48:06

That's what has suddenly occurred to me, which is why I ask.
We have had lots of interaction recently with CAMHS and the school inclusion people, but nobody has mentioned it.

I've never been in this section of the board, but I wondered whether I should suggest to the professionals that they might look at it?

They are starting to conclude that her problems are down to bad parenting and clearly I'm not going to buy that!

lisad123everybodydancenow Fri 18-Jan-13 21:44:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 21:40:41

Oh yes, also forgot serious speech delay

Toomanyworriedsonhere Fri 18-Jan-13 21:28:12

DD started yr7 in September and has had a dreadful time - she was close to being a school refuser through most of December. She has found the transition terribly terribly difficult and is still very unhappy. She hasn't made any friends and the only girl she moved from primary school with is not really friendly with her.

She has the following characteristics:

- clumsy - bangs into things and knocks things over daily
- talks with a loud voice
- physical tics - if she is doing something in the kitchen standing up she will stand on one leg and shake the other
- low muscle-tone
- not really part of the social group at primary school - accused of being 'rude' by other girls. She was liable to be too honest/undiplomatic. e.g "do you like my new bag?" - DD would answer "no, too sparkly" - leading to upset from other girl
- one good friend at primary school although the relationship always seemed awkward to me and the other girl is also now struggling at her new school. DD never thought this friendship was good, but now says you don't know what you've got until you lose it.
- she finds the new school too loud
- very, very anxious about the endless tests they seem to have and getting into trouble and detention
- DH has bipolar disorder

Does anyone have experience of this collection of characteristics? Might they be significant in some way?

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