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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

another S&L question

(38 Posts)
lougle Thu 17-Jan-13 07:10:30

Is it normal for a child to substitute something completely random in place of a word they can't remember?

I said to DD2, "You've got a big curl in your hair." when she'd got out of bed. She asked to feel it, then said "Is it 'cuplax'? then shook her head and said ' know that thing where DD3 gets really big hair."

She was thinking of bed-head.

I, of course, don't know what's normal for a 5 year old.

lougle Fri 18-Jan-13 11:13:33

interesting....perhaps she has 'small girl in a forest eating porridge' syndrome grin to find the book that deals specifically with that.

moondog Fri 18-Jan-13 11:31:14

Glad to hear I have not offended. grin
I try to hold back on the rage I feel at the utter failure of the SEN industry at large because it will, at least on here, only make posters feel more anxious but if I really let rip I would never stop.
I feel personally betrayed on so many levels but we shall put that to one side.

Lougle, a person with behavioural training would never have done that. He/she would have taken your child's interest in the toy as a way in and worked from there. Without harnessing the child's interests, you are lost.

One of the (many) issues is the tedious bureaucracy and admin, surrounding any efforts to see a professional. By the time you have filled in the forms, gone through the case history and so on, you have used up a huge chunk of time and energy.

Unfair as it is, you are often better off helping yourself, which is where MN is so valuable.

I'd like to take this opportunity to big up the wonderful company Taskmaster whose catalogue is a treasure trove of valuable resources and one of my favourites. Get onto them and ask for a copy. There are so many fantastic resources out there.

lougle Fri 18-Jan-13 11:44:19

Exciting - I love catalogues! I'll give them a call.

I genuinely do want to help DD2. I'm not just after a label. I worry though that she's meant to be learning at school, and they aren't picking up that she doesn't always understand.

The example of last week, when she came home and said 'Mum we have two guns in our bodies!' After a few careful questions, I established that the teacher had been talking to them about 'lungs'. Unfortunately, DD2's literal thinking linked with the fact that she misheard the teacher, led to her thinking that she had two physical guns in her body to help her breathe!

used2bthin Fri 18-Jan-13 12:04:13

lougl e I don' t know what it meaning as you know,my dd 1 has similar stuff going on to your dd 1 and she describes or substitutes words or acts things out when she can.t find the word.
last week during her psych assessments she was looking through a book and naming the pictures in it as part of the Bacs test. she got to a triangle and said er, a heart? to which the . psych said no but it is a shape. dd looked like she was really trying and said, sand castle? I can' t remember. the psych said have a think to which dd shrugged and said no,can.t remember we' 'll call it a heart!

lougle Fri 18-Jan-13 12:19:52

It's that link between the label and the concept, isn't it. Do you think she knows what a triangle 'is'? In other words, does she know that all shapes with 3 sides are the same shape that we call a triangle? DD1 new her shapes, numbers to 10 and colours (including some secondary and tertiary colours) quite early. However, knowing them and knowing what they are called are sometimes different things.

used2bthin Fri 18-Jan-13 13:18:07

exactly and yes I know she does know about triangles as maths stuff is generally a strong point. the stakeholders last time with the word giraffe she knew it but couldn't find the word as it isn't one she needs to use every day.

used2bthin Fri 18-Jan-13 13:19:59

argh same hhappened not stakeholders! I think it shows resilience to keep trying that hard to say what they want to say.

Handywoman Fri 18-Jan-13 14:12:05

"Lougle, a person with behavioural training would never have done that. He/she would have taken your child's interest in the toy as a way in and worked from there. Without harnessing the child's interests, you are lost."

We have a private SALT on board who 4 years ago never failed to amaze me in her talents for following my 4 year old severely language-impaired dd2's interest, going off with dd2 on her little tangents and working, working, working with her all the time to move her language on at every opportunity. She kept dd2 engaged and on-task 100% week in and week out for 9 months. People this talented are not that easy to find.....

Before the speech and language therapy, I stressed so much wondering ?is my dd2's language delayed or disordered? I only stopped stressing about this when our amazing SALT came on board (I found her by chance, she lives near me) and she listened and saw what we saw and showed us a way forward and embraced the uncertainty with me. I would sometimes ask 'why does dd2 do that?' and the SALT might sometimes say "i'm not sure" and that would be OK, it's more about having somebody to lean on and keep you signposted. Looking for a label is what parents do when they are looking for 'what to do next'.

I am back to stressing about labels again as sit it out on the long-winded and incredibly tedious pathway to ASD assessment. If I clap eyes on another questionnaire I will explode with rage!!! It is so stressful being in the dark. Once again it is not the label I am just waiting for, more a person who can see what I see, whose knowledge I can draw on, to embrace the uncertainty and walk with me on the onward road...........

I think the search for a label is a many-layered process for parents. Honkhonkhonk for us all!

Oh and thanks for the link, Moondog, that catalogue looks excellent.

zzzzz Fri 18-Jan-13 14:34:36

moondog lovely catalog, thank you.

Ds says thank you too, because he has been allowed to do a puzzle for an hour 20 mins while I browse. grin

lougle Fri 18-Jan-13 14:42:40

Thank you handywoman, for expressing much more clearly than I was able to, what I am searching for.

That catalogue is certainly a recipe for child neglect grin

moondog Fri 18-Jan-13 18:50:13

There's a copy by my bed. grin
Not exactly the most seductive sight for my dh but still.....

zzzzz Fri 18-Jan-13 20:16:23

I keep all my sn related books by my bed. I was looking at our room yesterday and laughing at the thought of just how wierd my bedtime reading is also making it rather difficult to move on my side!

Sputnik Fri 18-Jan-13 23:09:58

I know the thread has moved on a bit, but my DS also does this occasionally. He's 5 too. He started quite recently and never did it before. I take it as a desire to fill in a gap when he can't find the right word, so in that sense positive.

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