Here some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.
Those who have older children with classic autisim.(13 Posts)
Can I ask how much care needs your dc have? how old are they? Do you think your child will live independantly one day? will they sit GCSE exams? Sorry just trying to get my head around what sort of life dd will have when shes older.
Watching with interest as I think about this a lot!
DS1 is 9 with ASD and ADHD and has only been out of nappies for just over a year. He still need help with washing and dressing. He can't be left alone except to sleep, since he has very poor impulse control and Things Happen if he's allowed to, say, play in his room alone. He can't play out alone, either and has little road sense - he knows the theory but will walk into a moving car if it's on the pavement because cars don't go on the pavement, do they?
He's extremely bright, has a really good memory for facts and picks up mathematical concepts very easily. His 3D visualisation skills are fantastic - he can build really complex Lego Technic models with little help. He knows his way around a computer and can answer almost as many questions on Popmaster as me
He hates school, though, and we are all struggling with his mental health. He' s not a happy boy. He has the intelligence to do a degree. We'd just like him to be able to go to school without running the risk of a total breakdown, for now.
It's such a massive spectrum, isn't it? My ds is 12. Hes articulate, polite, well spoken. He's not a genius but often has an intelligent "take" on things that stops me in my tracks!!
I cannot imagine him sitting gcse's though. Not without a lot of help.
I worry constantly that he will be alone and just unable to "fit in". He has an additional diagnosis of co-morbid OCD. It's been totally debilitating.
DS2 (13 yo) has ASD, not Aspergers and was DXed at 3.5. He is lucky to have an average IQ and may well take some GCSEs. He has 1:1 support in a MS secondary. I can't quite imagine him living independently, but he may manage some sort of supported living when he's older. He's flappy and bouncy and squeaky voiced but very endearing when he's on a high. (Less so mid strop!) He still has toiletting issues, dry but a bit dodgy with poo, due to sensory problems. He can change his pants for clean ones himself, though.
At 3 he was non verbal, completely self directed and it was very, very hard to distinguish him from some of his friends at his special pre school who have turned out in some cases to be very HF, and in others, much more severe than him. How old is your DD?
Thank you I just wish I knew exactly what sort of functioning dd will have she is 3.5 she was non verbal till 3 but we now have about 100 words but they are not clear she is showing 2 years ahead in some of the tests and they think while she has classic autism her intelligence is unaffected.
I really do doubt that my Ds will ever leave home.
He may seem capable with some speech but if you watch him for a while, it is all based on the basics. Some food, drinks and Youtube. HIs speech is mainly echolalia and a LOT of stimming.
He's 10 and I still have to bath him, dress him appropriately, remind him of his routine, change his bed when he wets at nights and comfort him when the world gets too scary.
He's already had his SN secondary school named on his statement for next year so I don't hold out hope of him progressing any further than he has got to.
I have dd1, aged 11 with classic autism. I think I can confidently say that she will never live independently and will not sit GCSE exams. She has had the best start in life possible - early intervention and ABA for 7 years.
But OP, even if your child was the same as mine at 3.5 she may be very different to my dd at 11.
My dd can learn, she can read and write. She does have some language but refuses to use it most of the time. And she has A LOT of behaviours which mean she often puts herself at risk and has absolutely no common sense.
The thing is though, I honestly don't care if she never gets married or does things that NT people do - because that isn't her life so it's meaningless to her anyway. What I always try to do is make sure she has a life which gives her fulfillment. I'd be lying if I said I didn't lie awake at night worrying about her in the future but I try not to feel too gloomy about it.
Thanks all its not that I mind her living with me I guess I just wanted to know what sort of longer outcome we are likely to face. The answers given are appreciated very much I realise every child is different I just wanted a rough idea which you have all given thank you.
My DSD is 17 and will definitely live independently, go to uni etc. She just got 12 GCSEs! She was classically autistic at 3, though diagnosed "mild" , and always had a high IQ. A top autism Professor told me once that the best predictors of a good outcome are normal IQ and "useful speech" by 5. My DS is right at the other end of the spectrum, so unlikely to live independently or take any exam. But I have seen such a huge variety of outcomes, so who knows!
My son (12) often asks me "will I get married or have kids, do you think?" So, he WANTS to do all that stuff.
Who tests I.Q? He's been statements for years and now attends mainstream secondary with learning support attachment.
As you say, who knows?
DS is 8 and was DX with classic autism at 3.he mainly uses echolalia or is mute with people he doesn't know. He needs help with dressing,and he needs supervision constantly due to having no danger awareness.
He attends an ASD special school and is very happy their but doesn't interact with any of the children just a few self chosen adults.
He has recently been assessed as have severe learning difficulties even tho he can read very well but has no understanding of the words he has read,he doesn't write but is an absolute genius on a computer but only on things like google maps or websites of his choosing so school work is not on his agenda.
I can say he will not life independently and won't be able to take exams.
But he's come along way since he was 3 and he now toilets independently,tolerates other people in his personal space ,laughs a lot and gives the best hugs ever so who knows how he's going to progress.
I've learnt through my journey with DS that i can't predict what the same days going to be like so there's not much point(for me) to try to predict the next 10 years
DS7 is very HF so obviously that caveats things in terms of his ability BUT I just can't wait till he leaves school. Not fussed about exams or any of that, what will be will be. But there is a place for my DS in the world. Unfortunately I don't think it's within MS education. His life will start when all this sausage factory nonsense stops.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.