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Birthday blues

(3 Posts)
Perspective21 Mon 10-Dec-12 11:31:05

Thank you so much. Lovely to have such support from an unknown person, but in a similar position. You are right, the other children's birthdays aren't like this and I think that highlights the differences between the children's experiences. I will take a coffee break (DS at nursery this am) and will have sorted myself out by the time other family members come home. I think it must be a feeling for the mothers, my life has changed the most out of us all, even though everyone else has adapted too. I feel most responsible for him, the one to work it all out, smooth his way so he can fit into society etc..yes, am able to have a day off tomorrow and will use it as opportunity to rest.

Many thanks and good wishes xx

MisForMumNotMaid Mon 10-Dec-12 11:04:42

Yes it is normal, completely normal. Happy Birthday to your DS.

I feel that the main carer should also get cake and presents on a DC's birthday, especially when its been a battle to get them to each and every one.

I always feel on DS1's birthday a bit selfish, like somehow I should get the day off - (I had the very long induced labour with painful SPD that left me in a wheelchair for the last few weeks of pregnancy it all ended in emergency C-Section). Life is a daily battle of filling in paperwork, be it DLA, request for statement, confirmations of this, that and the other for school, dealing with behaviour and consequences, answering constant questions etc etc.

I don't feel the same on DS2's or DD's birthday.

Ironically DS1 doesn't like his birthday particularly - its all the change in routine and people fussing (He's ASD). This year was the first we didn't make anything of it. Just a quiet family meal in the evening and a cake he had at school. Best birthday yet, at 9!

My parents just had my DS1 for Saturday and Sunday (first time they've had him on his own in 6 years!). I had a lovely weekend and meals out with the other DC and DH. We did lots of things that aren't possible at other times to do as a family. Change is as good as a break! I'm really glad he's home now and feel re-energised to get back on with paperwork - currently parent comment for assessment for statement.

Are you at the point that you just need a day for you? Can you schedule some time in before the Christmas holiday period?

Perspective21 Mon 10-Dec-12 10:45:22

So happy to be celebrating DSs birthday, dearly loved by all the family. Can't shake the gloom about joining motability scheme and Statutory Assessment etc.... I know I am lucky as many here are still fighting for DLA awards but is this a common feeling? Bittersweet day with difficult memories of birth, NICU etc..

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