Advanced search

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on SN.

why is it still acceptable to refer to woman who are carers as ladies of leisure?

(17 Posts)
OwlLady Thu 06-Dec-12 18:58:35


I have recently given up my job because I really cannot cope with working any longer ( I think i started a thread) as I am not supported enough to work, either by family as they live too far away or by the local authority, who as we know are supposed to have a legal responsibility to support carers to carry on working hmm

anyway i have given up work, lucky to do be able to do so I know, but the amount of people including family who now think i am a lady of leisure is astounding!

Do you all get this too?

My dd is 13, has sld, autism, still in nappies, sever epilepsy, moderate pd etc etc

yes it's a walk in the park confused

justaboutchilledout Thu 06-Dec-12 19:00:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OwlLady Thu 06-Dec-12 19:05:36

sorry i meant women. Of course I do, i have a very disabled daughter
but she likes dancing and laughs and is complaint at parties and family events (she actually likes them) therfore I am a lady of leisure

never mind I cannot leave the house in the holidays and have a million appointments a week and god knows what else

OwlLady Thu 06-Dec-12 19:06:39

I meant of course I claim carers allowance blush

justaboutchilledout Thu 06-Dec-12 19:24:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bochead Thu 06-Dec-12 21:15:44

I'll honk with you.

I gave up work 3 years ago. Life still sucks, I'm poor, bored & oftimes lonely(nothing in common with the local yummy mummy crew). I'm trying not to go slowly crazy, as I MISS working, having worked hard enough to find.

On the other hand at least DS is thriving. grin

SantyClaWsBeardyHeed Thu 06-Dec-12 22:12:17

Ok had to search about for this a bit

Page 6

I have had this job description on my fridge for years and still frequently point professionals/relatives/ignoramuses over to read it there when I feel they haven't quite got the message!!

I must confess am soon to pick up some part time work also because am really feeling the heat from joe public regarding benefits and finances since becoming a single parent and would like my financial privacy back.

bigbluebus Thu 06-Dec-12 22:18:06

A couple of friends who I used to work with but still see regularly, jokingly refer to me as things like this. They also joke about how they work to pay my Carers Allowance. I don't take offence though as I know that they realise how much hard work it really is looking after DD and how many arrangements I have to make just to have a day/evening out with them!

It is often difficult though for others to understand how much work is involved in caring, unless they are living with you day to day. My dear old mum shocked me the other day when she asked "Can't DD stand up at all?". DD has been in a wheelchair since she was 2, (she is now 18) she has never been able to sit up let alone stand. Whenever my mum has seen her she has either been in her wheelchair or lying down. We have ceiling track hoists in 3 rooms.......... but still my mum doesn't understand all that looking after DD entails. (She does live 80 miles away, is getting on in years and has not been in good health herself - but has always been interested in DD, so I assumed she understood).

Perhaps it is time to explain to your family all that looking after your DD involves. They are clearly clueless.

icclebabyjesusheave Thu 06-Dec-12 22:20:05

I think anyone who says and thinks that is a bit of an arse. I have a lot of friends who are carers to their children who have SN and they are some of the hardest working people I know, giving constant care.

2old2beamum Thu 06-Dec-12 22:33:00

ha bloody ha
I am up at 0530, sort DCs x2 pump PEG feeds ready for school. 06.00 DS 7 lots of drugs and DD has 4 lots disconnect both feeds. Shower DD and change gungey colostomy bag dress do hair then hearing aids and glasses secured.
Next shower DS and dress difficult as he so stiff. attatch feed and hoist into wheelchair,

2old2beamum Thu 06-Dec-12 22:40:46

Not finished yet (bloody computer) DD in wheelchair. Write school books
Transport arrives @07.30. I am knackerd and day has barely started and the rest of day is not leisure

zzzzz Thu 06-Dec-12 22:49:59

It has never been acceptable.

bigbluebus Fri 07-Dec-12 08:28:13

2old. I know how you feel. I only have one DD to do feed, meds x 7, wash, dress and pack school bag for whilst yelling at DS to shift his backside and get ready before he misses the bus to school and adds another job of taxi driver to my list and I often feel like I've run a marathon by 8.00am.

YourHandInMyHand Fri 07-Dec-12 20:18:39

That job description is spot on! I've been feeling pressure and judgement lately too. Might have to print out that job description.

willowthecat Fri 07-Dec-12 21:10:09

It is very hard when family don't 'get it' , I find it easier to dismiss idiotic comments by strangers who have no idea what they are talking about anyway.

2old2beamum Fri 07-Dec-12 22:54:05

thanks bigbluebus forgot to say screaming like a banshee at the eldest 3 to shift as their taxi arrives @ 07.40.
I have a dear old friend who asked me what do I do all day now they are all out at school/day services [confused}
Keep your chins up girls we can rise above it. <waves 2 fingers>

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Fri 07-Dec-12 22:57:39

In your position they would be lucky to remain upright. Some people are just so fucking clueless sad

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: