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School refusal/phobia/ anxiety -New local (in South East England) Support Group

(34 Posts)
pinkorkid Wed 05-Dec-12 21:13:31

We are still at the planning/start-up stage with this but have a first meeting coming up soon. If any mumsnetter, whose family is affected by this, would like to be involved or have more information, please send me a pm.

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 07:52:40

can I commute grin

We are soooooooooooo affected but not down south !!

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 08:17:22

We will of course be laying on helicopter pick-ups once funding allows.

But meanwhile we hope to have a very basic website sometime soon - if I can distract ds away from Mario and Luigi long enough to talk me through how to do it. grin

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 10:12:27

thats good, look forward to my pick up wink

there is a website for school refusal/anxiety and the woman who started that also has a facebook group. I have her on facebook if thats any help.

Super Mario my fave, was in a local supermarket when they were promoting the DS and Mario, she asked me to try it, I told her you will have to prise it from me lol.

Eventually after completing many boards I gave it back and gave a review. She said there was only one other completed a level whilst talking to her and it was a girl of about 13, then me, who sailed through it haha...........Mario's fab!

HotheadPaisan Thu 06-Dec-12 10:45:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 16:31:50

Very impressed by your mario skills, devilish. DS keeps trying to get me hooked but I feel sea-sick with all the jumping around plus it shows up by complete lack of coordination. Do you remember the name of the website? Is it just called school refusal?
Hothead, thanks for the hangouts link - also looks like I need ds to talk me through it [technically challenged emoticon] but at least I won't feel like I've got a hangover after using it.

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 16:32:36

by my

Lougle Thu 06-Dec-12 16:55:37

How South is South-East? smile

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 17:27:23

Surrey, near Gatwick airport.

woolyandtig Thu 06-Dec-12 17:52:52

Very interested in more info about this. My dd hasnt been dx yet but hates school. They dont realy take up our offers of advise onthe situation

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 19:18:58

wooly - will pm you

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 19:20:15

Thanks Pink (it's devientenigma with a christmas NC grin

here is the website.

308 members on FB and a lot of other links wink

Not that I use either much, plus when I get on FB too occupied with games grin

Lougle if your further south than me, I will pick you up in the chopper en route wink

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 19:28:57

thanks for that, devilish/ devient in disguise - I did have my suspicions wink

yes, that's why we picked venue near Gatwick...

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 19:30:54


Can I ask how you intend managing the support group?

Are you allowing DC's also?

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 19:56:03

You know, I feel like we ,well I am flying by the seat of my pants at the moment. (My co-conspirator is much more organised than me.)

I think a lot will depend on how many if any people turn up at the first meeting. We have been trying to promote like mad via local schools, churches, sen groups etc.

The main aim is to offer peer support because it can be such an isolating experience when it seems like every other family you know has children who go off to school without a second thought and until it happens to your child you can't imagine the impact it has on the whole family.

We are also keen to share information on:
- what help you should be getting because the LA or school won't necessarily be going out of its way to tell you.
- what interventions and therapies there are out there which might be effective.

Ways we hope to do that:
monthly meetings, a lending library of books and documents we've found useful, occasional guest speakers
eventually a website with info and links to useful articles and relevant other sites

When we'll have the time to do it - not quite sure but will happen in fits and starts among the occasional other demands on us ladies of leisure -( thinking of our new title on the other thread about carers)

I think we will be very happy to have dcs too but whether the dcs will be attracted by the prospect, I'm less sure. One more thing to discuss at the first meeting.

You wouldn't like to join our virtual very small management committee would you,dev?
you can even have your own job title - how does Devilishly Fine Director of Darling School Refusniks sound?

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 20:09:22

sounds great Pink, wish I was down south now..........might try and get to a meet somehow. Love my new job title, hope it's not the original title for EWO lol

So who is already management?

Thats what I was thinking RE DC's, you won't get them there! so what do you do when stuck with them 24/7?

Guest speakers and library books, it is really taken off. How are you going to appeal up North?

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 20:37:21

Glad you like your new title. smile Management is always going to be overstating it when I'm involved. So far it's just me and one other mum with some big ideas and a little bit of hope for making things a bit better. You're right about the childcare problem though. If someone is on their own with a child who who is too scared to leave the house, meetings are going to be a non-starter for them. I guess we can be on the other end of a phone or email to offer support that way. In theory we could meet informally in each other's houses but for some dcs that's going to be too intrusive. You will have to be our Cultural Advisor (add to your titles) on appealing to the Northern Market if guest speakers and library books don't cut it grin

devilishmangerdanger Thu 06-Dec-12 20:47:05

no no, they do cut it, but how does us up North listen to the guest speakers?

How do you make it accessible nationally?

pinkorkid Thu 06-Dec-12 20:56:15

I guess once ds and I okay probably just ds sets up the website for me, that will be accessible from north of watford. Why don't you go for it in parallel in your neck of the woods? Well, I know one big reason why you might not is that you have your hands full with ds already but maybe doing it together with another parent. Do you know anyone in real life nearby who is in similar situation to you?

KayMawson Thu 06-Dec-12 21:16:50

Hi everyone

Let me introduce myself. I've been raising awareness for School Refusal (phobia) since 2009 after it made a horrifying appearance in our lives. I current have a website and run a Facebook group to support parents and some adolescents from all around the world. My most significant awareness work allowed me a short interview on ITV Daybreak in January 2012 with the prospect of further interviewing with them.

I feel very strongly about this condition, the children suffering, the parents who suffer too and the endurance of ignorant, thoughtless staff, friends and yes, as you'll know, even family members.

Please consider me in with your work. I would be more than happy to help get the recognition and support these children & parents deserve for this condition.

Best wishes to you all

Kay Mawson

KayMawson Thu 06-Dec-12 21:17:19

Twitter @schoolrefusal

pinkorkid Fri 07-Dec-12 09:38:37

Hi Kay, It would be great to have you on board. I've got to go out shortly but I will get in touch again later today. Thank you for offering to help.

HotheadPaisan Fri 07-Dec-12 10:08:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HotheadPaisan Fri 07-Dec-12 10:18:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

devilishmangerdanger Fri 07-Dec-12 11:43:37

I'm sorry I don't understand your post Hot he was NOT refusing school and not distressed, so how does the school refusal fit? you say it's because his needs are not met, but how did you know if he was attending?

It's just my DS has always been difficult to get there (special school and always has been from 2) until it became impossible 3 year ago, hence being out of school. Things school say and what we know as parents/other profs don't marry up, hence how we know DS's school phobia is due to his needs not being met.

I do think it's something that needs to be more national, bigger voice, plus Kay already has members so expand from there. It makes sense to have regional support etc, it's not just those affected, I think profs need to be involved too.

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